So this is a non-profit project that myself and some others put together last fall for the holiday season. The gist of it is to promote intercultural understanding, break down barriers between cultures, and sell end-user products for funds to both help homeless people in Arizona, and to fund charities in Turkey.

I'm looking for critique specifically on the post for this short. The camerawork was all done on consumer cameras by friends without any formal (or otherwise) experience, then shipped back to the States. The editing was awesome though, lots of good footage to work from. All feedback is welcome and needed!

Here's the Flash render:
http://kittyburger.com/temp/ktown01.html

Hi Dave,

What I liked -
I was fascinated by the Ebru / Turkish water painting section. That was a very nicely edited piece, I found it very compelling. That's something I think people would really be interested in seeing.

What I didn't like -
The visual montage at the beginning
- This is very weak. I think you could just put up a graphic that says K-Town, Turkey then cut straight to the Ebru Turkish water painting. I think it would make the piece much stronger.

- the dialog audio in the visual montage is trash, it took so much effort for me to understand what they were saying I missed most of the video that was playing (and I still don't really understand everything they said). Again, losing it would make the piece much stronger.

Other comments -
I would have liked to have seen a graphic or heard a voiceover that told me in more detail why these women make their art, what they've done with it, who are they making it for, how is it making the world a better place etc. It's alluded to at the end, but it's never explained. And I'm curious why you ended with the boys playing soccer? How are they related to the women? I would have liked to have known. And if they have nothing to do with the directly with the women, it's probably better to find a shot of something that is.

But great job on getting the Ebru Turkish water painting, that was very well done.

Hi Michael,

I appreciate the constructive feedback here. Most everyone I've talked to that bought the DVD was wanting the same thing, more info on the history and whatnot behind it, more back-story. The intro/outro are basically fluff since I had no footage to convey this.

I hadn't heard anything about the audio VO in the beginning though. I know the quality sucked, but maybe because I listened to it over and over in the editing process I didn't imagine there would be trouble understanding it.

Thanks for the tips. Any other feedback is welcome.