YouTube - DrMeeko's Channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/DrMeeko)

I have a commercial for a daycare and a taekwondo school. I might do a barbershop commercial soon. I think I'm getting better with each shoot. I'd just like some feedback. Thanks in advance.

Oh, shot w/ a Canon gl2 and edited w/ sony vegas movie maker 8.

The biggest issue I have is audio quality (and I'm not sure if its just because of compression). Sounds like you were on a phone line. Stylistically, everyone will have their own opinion; mine is for shorter shots with a greater variety (including more high and low angles for added kick, if you'll pardon the pun).

Also, the website title should be a much simpler....www.kyktkd.tripod.com. Better yet, get the owner to spring for a 'real' website, not a free-hosted one.

Right before the end, you could hear the music looping again, and the kids weren't all that energetic in their closing performance. I want to hear the ENERGY!

when you shoot commercial for the web you need more close up shots, try not to stay long on the same shot more then few seconds you have to keep changing it to keep viewers attention.
Cindy's totally you,Beauty & Day Spas, Manicures & Pedicures, Nail Care, Raynham, MA, (http://www.newenglandvideoads.com/cindyspa)

Thanks for all the comments. I think my shot selection was very good. I used my environment well. There are a few things I can do better and I may redo both commercials now that I know more. These were my first two commercials. Hopefully I will improve with the next ones. Now I'm gonna start charging!!!

YouTube - DrMeeko's Channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/DrMeeko)

I have a commercial for a daycare and a taekwondo school. I might do a barbershop commercial soon. I think I'm getting better with each shoot. I'd just like some feedback. Thanks in advance.

Oh, shot w/ a Canon gl2 and edited w/ sony vegas movie maker 8.

I think the other comments are being kind to you. This is real amateur footage and not much more than home movie stuff. It needs faster cuts, close ups of action and various camera angles. The ending would be better dropped and the web site is too much to read. Its your first go but some of the comments here from the others will be a huge help if you take notice.

I can only, with not a little desperation, echo Dennis's comments. It's only my very good nature that is stopping me from uttering anything further.

Meeko, please study and note major league advert makers; question what and how they put together their work and compare yours to theirs.

Grazie

I have to agree with the above. If I were to see these on TV I would think, "well, there's someone who has a nephew with a camcorder!"

The copy is lackluster, and the diction is poor in the V.O.s. There appears to be only a single shot that was made with a purpose for the commercials. All the others are just "shots in a row" that I suppose are meant to demonstrate why I should choose your clients' particular services over their competition. I saw absoutely nothing that would sway me as a consumer to choose your clients' services.

I'm also curious as to what exactly you mean by having used your environments well. I did not see anything out of the ordinary as far as environment.

The "cheer" at the end of the Taekwondo spot was not in unison, and is hard to understand. It was also weakly delivered, and right after it you can hear an off-camera comment.

It is important to understand that even if you are a competent filmmaker, that does not necessarily qualify you to do advertising work. The art of scripting a good commercial, and then knowing how to effectively bring it to fruition is a skill-set entirely of its own.

In my humble opinion you are a long ways away from charging for these services. You have some nice gear, but not the expertise to use it effectively in a commercial context.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe that anyone is served by hollow platitudes.

I've read all comments and I appreciate the critiques. I like the footage I shot and I'll stick with that. I think it was appropriate for the projects. It was cut excellently and it shows what I was trying to show for the customer. The only critical things I've noticed were audio problems. New audio editing software and mics should fix that problem.

I've noticed a few comments about the website. I have nothing to do with the website and I didn't ask anyone about it. It really had nothing to do with why I posted. Anywhoo, I just wanted to thank all who posted. I'm working on new projects at the moment so I most likely will not post anymore about these. Feel free to respond, but I most likely won't read or respond to your post at all.

:-)

I'm working on new projects at the moment so I most likely will not post anymore about these. Feel free to respond, but I most likely won't read or respond to your post at all.

:-)
Priceless!
I think this thread demonstrates the fine line that we all tread between having confidence in our own skills and abilities whilst at the same time being humble enough to listen to feedback.

OK, being straight:

"How do you guys like my commercials?" Well, this "guy" didn't.

"I'd just like some feedback." . . Really? I don't think you wanted any feedback. I think you wanted a "particular" type of feedback.

So what "feedback" DID you want?

Grazie

come on guys. No-one posts clips looking for anything but praise. Meeko is no different to anyone else.

I don't want to get too down on Meeko either. He's starting out and his ego is fragile.

Is this the reason that most people post though? That surprises me if it is. I would have thought that people would want some honest feedback and perhaps some suggestions how things can be improved.

Replace the announcer while your replacing your audio gear. Voice was weak and IMO was the weakest part of the commercial. The announcer is obviously not a pro. Try to find someone who can project their voice.

Now I'm gonna start charging!!!

Good luck with that.

If you have suggestions on how to tweak an excellent production to make it an outstanding one then go ahead. But 99.999% of the posters on forums have learned from their mothers: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all".

"Being nice" is not going to help Meeko. There is a lot to be said for tact and courtesy, and I commend your intentions that this forum be civil.

However, Meeko wasn't being flamed, he was offered valid criticisms which he spurned.

Honest and heartfelt advice to ALL young videomakers who are looking to make a career out of it: save your cash up and GO TO SCHOOL. This isn't a shot at ANYONE in particular, more of a shot at EVERYONE who thinks they are "too cool for school": You aren't as good as you and your mother think you are.

Go to media college, learn about things like scripts, pacing, lighting, editing (not just VIDEO editing - learn to edit YOURSELF).

I think it was Hemingway that said "the first draft of anything is s**t". Learn to separate what you LIKE from what is good, and ONLY keep what is good. Some of my best shots are lying on the cutting room floor.

If you want to do video as a hobby, have at it. If you want to do video as a BUSINESS, get good at it or stop doing it.

I think it was Hemingway that said "the first draft of anything is s**t".

I'm glad Hemmingway said that. I thought it was just me ;-)

What nobody is saying is that the actual subjects were simply a dreadful advert for a martial art. I spend a lot of time with dancers - performing arts is my area of work. Dancers, when rehearsing 'mark' the routines - no major effort, just a practice of the individual moves, and this display reminded me of that. Big blokes pretending to fight with kids. If I was a parent looking for putting my kids into a contact sport, I'd be very wary of this club - none of the moves were synchronised, few had complete extension (not sure what martial arts call it), and it looked very amateur.

What should have happened was that the director saw the action they had planned then shot it from many angles. Loads of scope for making the 'hits' that fall short look much closer.

It's disappointing the OP cleared off, unwilling to read more comments - actually, I bet he still does read them. Asking for comment on a pro forum means it won't always be positive, and to be honest, you need this. I have learnt far more from negative comments I've received over the years than all the pats on the back. They're rarely personal.

Asking for comment on a pro forum means it won't always be positive, and to be honest, you need this. I have learnt far more from negative comments I've received over the years than all the pats on the back. They're rarely personal.

Well said Paul, very well said indeed.

Grazie

In my opinion, if you want a pat on the back, ask a close relative. if you want constructive criticism, ask a forum. if the forum can not find constructive criticism, you have finally made it to the top of the bunch. I am still at the point of finding plenty of flaws in my own work. I have not yet posted a clip here to get assistance finding flaws. When I do post a clip and ask for advice, a skilled person avoiding pointing out the negative aspects of my work would be doing me a great disservice.

Meeko Gray, this forum does not allow bashing. the people that made the comments did not do it to bash you, or to be mean. they are trying to help you. you could spend a lot of money to go to school and get told what your mistakes are, or get the information for free right here.
I learned from the comments made to you and it will affect my future work.