I was able to show a screener of my film to the DVinfo moderators, and in hopes of sparking up the competition, I thought I would share the heaps of praise that was delivered upon my masterpiece.

Read em and weep!

"After seeing your film, I'm rethinking having you as a moderator."
Chris Hurd

"Disqualified, disqualified, DISQUALIFIED!"
Lorinda Norton

"The part that was in focus, I hated. Thankfully there wasn't much."
Charles Papert

"You're drinking at work again I see."
Greg Boston

"I got fired for watching your stupid movie at work, jerk."
Pete Bauer

"Your 3D sequences were better when I closed one eye."
Tim Dashwood

"You've redefined a "garbage cut". Terrible on every level."
Edward Troxel

"I wish I could slap you from here."
Meryem Ersoz

I guess the Stargate didn't help, heh ??

That is some resume stuff there!!!

I am eager to se that film.
It is obviously a film for my taste.

I just found out my short story was rejected by a magazine.
But I feel much better after reading these reviews!

Critics are haters!

Dylan... our lawyer called... we need to send him some more money right away... Oh... and the test results came back... better yet, call me...

;)

I can't wait to see that film!

Tronde, you're lucky, you're in one of the few countries that hasn't banned it yet. The rest of us in North America have to watch it from a cruise ship in international waters.

I guess I just found one advantage of living up in the chilly north in a city where we have more than 200 days of rain and snow each year.
I will (try) not to be jealous of you North Americans cruising in the Caribbean watching Dylan's film. :)

That's funny... these reviews sound quite similar to the latest re-releases of Lucas' Star Wars films.

Here's a screen capture from the film! Enjoy it while it lasts!

PS. May not be suitable for work... Just ask Pete Bauer...

That's funny... these reviews sound quite similar to the latest re-releases of Lucas' Star Wars films.

What's even funnier... my film has a stripper that looks like JarJar Binks.

What's even funnier... my film has a stripper that looks like JarJar Binks.

AND a picture of my mom...

The censors have cleared ONE frame from the entire film! I am THRILLED to be able to show it to all of you!

BTW... John Williams wasn't available to score the film but I found a guy on Craigslist named Phil Williams who was willing to do it for IMDB credit and meth.

:( :( :(

SIgh...

Unfortunately, I'm sad to announce that we've just received some really bad news.

According to the FDA our film has been proven to cause cancer, hepatitis, and spontaneous dismemberment in lab mice, humans, and 3 species of whale.

We're adding a 2 frame warning to the beginning of the film. Please read it and watch at your own risk.

Wow, you guys really know how to pre-hype a film don't ya?
I feel like I'm getting prepped to watch Super 8 again.....!

The censors have cleared ONE frame...No wonder I got fired for watching this! Oh my gawd, look at the blown out dry erase board reflection and the specular off the arm of that chair! Then there's the colorist work. Dull, undersaturated but without the cachet of CSI. Were they looking for B&W and couldn't find it? Really, does that brown cast say "UPS" like no other film in the competition?

At 3:12 into the film, the director totally lost me as far as suspension of disbelief. I may have dozed off briefly because I don't remember any whales experiencing spontaneous dismemberment. But in any case, exactly what member would spontaneously dis- from a whale? Just doesn't work for me.

But all in all, considering the handsome incentive (6-pack of Shiner) they offered me to review the film, I give it 4.75 stars. A must-see masterpiece! *

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*Legal Disclaimer: I have not seen this film.

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*Legal Disclaimer: I have not seen this film.

Wish I could say the same... I can't UNsee the film...