TOP SECRET...TOP SECRET...TOP SECRET...TOP SECRET...TOP SECRET...TOP

INTERNAL SECURITY MEMO - HIGH PRIORITY - EYES ONLY

TO: DV INFO MEMBERS
FROM: AGENT X-11G
RE: MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF FELLOW AGENT X-Y-Y (RB)

FELLOW DV INFOERS: (Old ones and new ones)

I am concerned about the mysterious DV Info disappearance of colleague and fellow moviemaker Enrique "Rick" Bravo, Jr! Apparently, he has fallen into the cinematic abyss and we must coordinate a search and rescure party to find him so he may, once again, not only regale us with his filmmaking adventures of derring-do, but also impart his many years of hands-on expertise.

During the NAB convention, I had telephonically located Ricky nursing a cold beer and Jamaican beef patty in front of his Miami television set, watching an old movie who's title I cannot recall. I asked him to return home to his DV info family and he mumbled something about "...Hugh who?" I can only assume he was angry because some beef patty gravy must have dripped onto his fresh, beloved and most preferred tank top t-shirt he favors while relaxing.

ANYWAY...

Just to remind the old timers as well as the newcomers that Rick's very impressive website is thus:

www.rbravo.com

We're talking three (count 'em, THREE) generations of filmmaking expertise here!

Send the lazy bum an e-mail asking him to come out of the cold. He will accept kisses from the ladies and only good looking "girly-men" since he's the macho-est guy around. I will attempt another telephonic contact and lure him in. Oh, and the guy can cook. You need a recipe to impress the in-laws? Bravo is THE go-to guy.

Now, let's all sit in a circle and chant...

BRAVO COME HOME... BRAVO COME HOME... BRAVO COME HOME... BRAVO C

SUPPLEMENTAL MEMORANDUM, FIELD AGENT X-11G.

I telephonically contacted Bravo at an undisclosed Miami location. Apparently, he's been given some sort of mind altering drug by an enemy agent causing him to act contrary to his standing orders which are:

Have fun and enjoy life at all costs.

I am awaiting instructions and possible assignment to fly down and clandestinely meet with Agent X-Y-Y (RB) in order to rescue and repatriate him into a reorientation program not unlike what the North Koreans used on POWs in 1951 (Please see The Manchurian Candidate for intelligence information).

I will keep all interested agents posted as to my progress.

Perhaps he went undercover and will resurface when the assignment's completed.

So nice to hear from HUMINT Special Field Agent (code named FG-6996) But your assessment, unfortunately, is incorrect because I know about all current assignments and RB is unassigned at the moment. And because I know for a fact that he is not a rogue agent, we need to locate him, and fast!

I am thinking on calling on numerous resident Florida field agents to locate him and spike his Mojito with rescue serum.

I will be forwarding a special request to Chief of Covert OPS (code name CH-CM-1. He's the guy on here with the REAL secret agent haircut, drink of choice Captain Morgan and Coke). Hopefully, we will hear from him shortly.

Over and out.

Slow day at the asylum, Hugh? :) Okay, *sigh* I'll play along...

LN674 here. I've been missing RB's posts for a long time! Not only is he really funny, he's always willing to help with tips on shooting, lighting, gear--whatever.

Remember in the car in Miami, Hugh--I mean X-11G, when he patiently explained to me about measuring and marking the barrel for focusing? We were in party mode, yet he answered all my questions. I learned a lot in a short amount of time.

Believe it or not, I do have some intell: Several months ago he went in FRONT of the camera with his SRT buddies for scenes in Miami Vice the Movie. Traded his camera for a big gun! I can't wait for the movie to come out this summer!!!

Maybe get Keith, I mean KF2735, to pay our wayward pal a visit. We were all going to meet in Miami this May. (Sorry, Keith, but that ain't happening this year. We'll keep trying!)

I might- just might- be in Miami this Saturday. I responded to an ad for a shooter, but haven't heard back. Considering how much I hate driving back from Miami in the wee hours, I quoted them full price. Plus mileage.

I reported directly to Capt. Morgan every day last week, and I still can't remember his exact orders. Something about "Area 51" but it's hazy. Where in the world is Rick Bravo? Did he got to LEVA Expo... and not return?

So nice to see all of our field agents reporting.

1) LN 674: I've been cleared by the agency shrink (check my personnel file. It's all in there). The voices that had frequently instructed me to stay home and clean my guns have stopped completely since Psych Services dispensed those special tablets that I'm to take before beddy-bye time each night. Kindly refrain from besmirching my character in front of CH-CM-1 lest he take me off the active field agent roster and put me behind a desk where I'm sure to do no good in locating X-Y-Y (RB).

2) CH-CM-!: Hiya boss! Nice to see you checking in with the troops! Can I get you a cup of coffee, Sir? How about fetch your lunch? (Yeah, I'm looking for a promotion).

3) KF-2735: Keep up the good work. When RB surfaces we might have to drive next to him in a nondescript white panel van, jump out, yank him inside and take off for an intervention.

I think I just came up with the theme for DVC6.

I think I just came up with the theme for DVC6.


that's no fair, hugh has a head start on his script!

hugh, you're a nut. i, like, wish you were my son.

hugh, you're a nut.
Uh huh. Maybe somebody oughta review that personnel file...
;)

Our last sighting of Rick Bravo involved watching him run a live camera during a Florida Panthers hockey game. He's around...it's just a matter of bringing him in.

And I can't think of anyone better for the job than Agent X-11G. Meryem, maybe you could make sure he stays on his meds and stuff... :)

LN-674:

Check your job description. You'd been originally hired to make sure I'm on my meds.

I think I'll try another telephonic comminque to Bravo via scrambled sattelite link. I'll keep you all posted. In the meantime, I suggest all new agents review Bravo's personnel file:

www.rbravo.com

That's an order.

Meryem: (ME-612) Trust me, the liability of adopting me is not worth the aggravation. Keep your blood pressure normal. Besides, I have a distinct tattoo across my buttock.

Besides, I have a distinct tattoo across my buttock.

That's too much information! Thanks for ruining my breakfast. (hehe)

-gb-

Oh, the jokes I could make at Hugh's expense!

Ha ha! All I can say is Rick better surface soon. This communique has gone way south. :)

Yeah... But I refuse to go far enough south to read Hugh's tat.

Oh, the jokes I could make at Hugh's expense!

i think hugh is doing a fine job of that all by himself!

oh dear, a new assignment as a secret agent in wackyworld. it's all i ever could have hoped for.....

i think hugh is doing a fine job of that all by himself!

oh dear, a new assignment as a secret agent in wackyworld. it's all i ever could have hoped for.....
"If you can read this...
GET OFF MY @$$!"

hehe... So many jokes...

RL-197 checking in STOP no sign of agent X-Y-Y here STOP the EHQ is getting nervous END TRANSMISSION

FIELD OPS - TRANSMISSION INTERCEPT - RL-197

Thank you for checking in. Please check Netherlands passport control. Code name: Peter Franks.

In the meanwhile, I have been thinking about DVC6. HMMMM...

Theme: Missing

Oh, by the way, all field agents please turn in your Walther PPK .380 caliber pistols. In a cost cutting measure to counteract rising fuel prices, we will now be issued brand new Russian Made Baikal Makarov pistols in 9 mm Makarov caliber. Don't fret. They conceal easily and work well. Please report for you assigned range day on time for orientation and qualification.

As for the tattoo: TOP SECRET. I repeat: TOP SECRET. Three key access.

END.

This operation is so Top Secret that it's been re-classified under Area 51.

Good luck, and good will hunting.

I thought we were hunting a Rick, not a Will?

Soylent Green? Well heck! Now that IS top secret! Any old timers remember that Charlton Heston movie?

I remember it, but it left a bad taste... ;)

I thought we were hunting a Rick, not a Will?

ppppppbbbbbttttt!

someone stop keith before he quits his day job.....

Yeah... good luck with that. My wife hasn't had any luck, and she's been at it for nigh on 10 years.

I hope we're not hunting a Will cause that usually means someone died.

(insert drum roll and groans here)

-gb-

Shhhh... Be vewy, vewy quiet, I'm hunting Wabbit! Huh huh huh!

How in heck did we get to this point? Holy smokes! I did laugh at Keith Forman's Soylent Green "taste" joke. Pretty good, actually. I can see him now in a smoky nightclub...

"Hey, two cannibals are eating a clown and one says to the other 'Does this taste funny to you?' <<GROOOOAAAN>> Thank you, thank you, very much, ladies and germs! I'll be here all week! Make sure you tip your waiters and waitresses! Try the steak! It's awesome."

Ba-dum-CHA!

FOR IMMEDITE DISSEMINATION - TO ALL ACTIVE FIELD AGENTS

I have been in contact with X-Y-Y (RB) and although he has been deep deep deep undercover, he is doing well. Although his whereabouts are still nebulous, he sounds to be in good spirits and might surface.

I have all active satellites attempting to triangulate his location. Please closely monitor this thread for any contact he may make from the field.

Okay gang, Bravo went fishing today and caught a tuna and a dolphin. He soaked up the sun on a boat munching smoked marlin and washing it down with cold beer. At least we know he's eating well.

He's rotten making us worry this way.

I still love him!

DiMauro's stalking has finally forced me out of seclusion...now, where did I put that restraining order?

RB

Hooray! It's Rick Bravo!!

You missed a great party at NAB, you poor unfortunate soul. Welcome back,

AGENT X-Y-Y (RB)

No restraining order will keep me away from you, Brother! You've shown me great times and experiences in my life that others can only dream of (all of you filthy-minded bas***ds keep your sicko comments to yourselves!) HA!

Without Agent X-Y-Y (RB) I would not have:

* Tasted smoked Marlin that I'd strangle my own grandmother with her pantyhose to have to eat right now with a cold beer.

* Tasted the BEST fish spread that I've ever had.

* Tried (and LOVED) sashimi.

* Met some great Florida law enforcement types (only the ones who have stuck by Brother Bravo. He knows who and what I mean).

* Met the three most important women in his life who men of this world would be proud to have as a family.

* Seen Key West.

* Got my ass on a plane and am starting to like flying again (as long as I don't listen to Dave Rivers' ValueJet investigation happy horsesh#@. As soon as he starts on me with that, I'm ready to walk back to New Jersey from Miami. Telling me to put my driver's license in my shoe does it every time).

* Tried Mojitos. OHHHHHH MOJITOS!


Now, if I can only get him and that one other interested party together to make a festival-worthy movie...

Welcome back, Bro-heem. I'm gonna bug you today on your desk phone.

Mojitos? How about "the scorpion"! Or that chocolate-cake-thingy :)

Good to see you alive and well agent X-Y-Y (RB)!

Nuthin' beats the Mojito. Nuthin'.

(Except maybe a single barrel Kentucky bourbon)

HEY, RICK!!!!! *cue Cuban dance music* Time to party!!!! :)

Now that you've come out of seclusion, don't you dare go back. We need you here!

Mojitos all around!

p.s. to Rob: The Scorpion and that crazy chocolate cake-thingy are definitely Las Vegas, definitely cool. Now you and the other "bad boys of DV Info" (yeah, I got Dylan's message) need to experience Miami with Rick, Hugh, and......Mojitos.

I'm ready for the Miami experience again. Physically. Mentally.

wow. i can't believe this worked....i wonder if hugh could find my third-grade crush.

Lorinda: a couple of "the gang" are trying to get me out to Texas, do I need to
add Florida to that list as well? Man, I'd better go around collecting some money :|

Shoot fire, Rob! After you've had your fill of that Shiner Bock just head southeast a fer piece and you'll be in the land of Mojitos. And btw, I'd contribute to the "delinquency of Rob Lohman" fund. You might as well get the full experience as long as you're here. :)

Meryem, there isn't anything that bundle of energy code-named X11-G can't do. But get Rick and him together and you'll really see some antics. It's non-stop lunacy!

Lorinda: a couple of "the gang" are trying to get me out to Texas, do I need to
add Florida to that list as well? Man, I'd better go around collecting some money :|

Rob,

There are plenty of us here in Florida to take care of you. Everyone is basically in Miami, Orlando and the Palm Beach area. I am in the middle of everyone. 90 miles to Miami and 110 to Orlando, but about the same travel time, about 1 3/4 hours.

Enjoyed meeting you at NAB and you are always welcome at my house. I used to live in Texas years ago, and would love to revisit there too.

Best of luck my man----Mike

Thanks all!

Mike: there are some "rumours" for next NAB. A roadtrip from Texas to Vegas...

We'll see what happens next year. I probably won't be back until next year
unless I win that lotery tomorrow :)

I knew RB would surface soon. He never lets us down. I'm meeting him in Manhattan next month for some tomfoolery. It'll probably take an act of congress to get him down to South Jersey for a spell. Now, if I can only get my boss to accompany me to the Apple we should all have a Jim-Dandy time in Chinatown and Little Italy. Ahhh yes... espresso, cannoli, a cigar, sidewalk bistro tables in the warm Manhattan air. The last time my boss and I went to Little Italy, we enjoyed the above while watching a fashion shoot across the street. Some magazine ad. There's always something going on. I've come to expect it. That's the magic of New York City. My last visit two weeks ago, I ran into one of Denis Leary's co-stars on the FX series Rescue Me (my favorite Summertime show). He just stood there in front of The Playwright, smoking a cigar. I went up to him and started shooting the breeze (translation: Kissing his ass and telling him how much I liked the show and the whole cast). Friendly guy. You don't get that kind of experience in Hollywood, comrades! New York is the bomb!

I will return with a full report of RB's mental health and welfare.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schitzophrenic and so am I!

I've taken to wearing aluminum foil caps to protect myself from the invisible rays put out by ray guns cleverly disguised as cell phone towers! I get funny looks from people and I seem to attract an unusual amount of lightning but I'm feeling much better now.

Ahhh...NYC, my home town...can't wait although I don't know if it is quite ready for "Crazy Legs" DiMauro and me.

OH, OH gotta go...they're coming to take me away, haha...

RB

Thanks all!

Mike: there are some "rumours" for next NAB. A roadtrip from Texas to Vegas...

We'll see what happens next year. I probably won't be back until next year
unless I win that lotery tomorrow :)


A road trip does sound very interesting! Now if we made it on Harleys.............

A road trip does sound very interesting! Now if we made it on Harleys.............

Sorry Mike, my Harley is staying here in the garage while I am in Vegas. Besides, neither it or my #%^ are set up for long rides anymore. (grin)

-gb-

Sorry Mike, my Harley is staying here in the garage while I am in Vegas. Besides, neither it or my #%^ are set up for long rides anymore. (grin)

-gb-

Boy, do I know what you mean! I was never much of a cruzzer anyway, always wanted to go fast........too fast! That's why I sold my last bike, but I sure miss it.

Mike

A road trip does sound very interesting!

Did I mention Dylan might be involved as well?