Short Film shot on my Canon GL2
 

This is a 10 minute short we shot this year on my GL2. I liked the look we achieved. Any criticism is appreciated. We are striving to get better with each try.

We wanted a soft dreamy look, so we used a soft contrast filter in post and shot in cinemode and 16:9.

http://vmix.com/video/1560091/

Since we shot this, I have added a WD 58H wide angle lens to our arsenal, so our next project should be a fair % better than this one visually.

Steve

What is cinemode?

You are gonna love the WA.

Grazie

Cinemode is Canon's 30P interlaced shooting mode that is supposed to replicate the look of 24P film. It doesnt exactly, but it does a decent job. GL2 can film in 30P (Cinemode) or 60i native.

What did you think of the short?

I didn't know that? I know of the F mode - I didn't know about the P mode.

Steven

Nice effort. Liked the story. I had earlier typed a looong response but it somehow got lost when I hit the submit key so I'll keep this brief.

I liked the story overall and enjoyed the guy who played the hitman. He was believable enough.

You should go through and check on these following issues:

directing
editing
shot choice (includes compositions, framing)
sound
story

DIRECTING: one example is when she goes to answer the door and seems nervous and asks 'who's there" doesn't get a response, then goes and answers the door anyway. What makes that even more glaring is when at the end we see she is a (supposedly) smart and bad a-- person herself. That being the case, she would have definitely not answered the door, and if she did, she would have brought her gun with her.

EDITING: there are numerous, unnecessary jumpcuts when he is looking for the "husband" also, too many cuts/repeating shots, period. (also, storywise, he wouldn't have just searched that small area)

Also, a suggestion you can take or not:

When he goes to knock on the door and we don't hear this and then she answers "hold on a minute" it feels off because she responded to something we saw rather than heard.


Maybe do the following shot wise:

Hitman cocks gun.
Lowers gun to side (med shot you did)
TITLE CARD with doorbell ringing over this.
Shot of actress reacting the doorbell with her dialogue.


SHOT CHOICES: many not well though out shots, here. Framing was not strong on several shots. (shot of actress at 8:36) Also, there was a 180 violation when they were sitting at the table. They both appear to be facing the same direction.

I'd suggest taking the shot with her and flipping it in post. The background behind her is pretty non-descript so you could get away with it.


SOUND: Fades out and is too soft to be heard in some spots. Sync issue on some shots.

Overall not horrible, though, I made it through the movie and that's always a good thing.

STORY

Once again, pretty decent story. I've always enjoyed the mistaken identity storylines. Some parts just seemed a tad cliched, though. I'll let others chime in about this as some of it is perhaps a perspective issue.

Eric,

FANTASTIC response. This is the reason I post stuff. You criticized, but not in a demeaning way, and you also offered very concise offers of help in situations. Thank you.

To answer some of your statements, unfortunately, I am a writer. It is what I get paid for, not a director. I am slowly realizing that. Just because you are a screenwriter doesn't mean you are a good director too.

I have never studied anything about shot composition, blocking, etc. I just winged most of it off the cuff. But your response is exactly what I wanted. I need to learn these things if I ever want to get better at this.

Any suggestions on books or online material I can read to learn about shot composition?

Steve

I just finished my first short as well and actually I didn't read any books but one: Blain Brown's Cinematography: Theory and Practice. This is primarily about lighting, however, but it does tie into other aspects of filmmaking.

I think one good one I hear about though is: Shot by Shot. The title is longer than this but if you go to Amazon and type it in you'll see it. The cover is blue with a pair of hands on it framing up a shot.

I'd say overall just pay real close attention to movies, which I'm sure you do for the writing aspect. Actually, knowing all the other stuff will make you an even better writer as you will think in more cinematic terms.

Making movies is HAARRD! I look at my first film as well and saw many things I could have done too in regards to lighting, editing, etc...so trust me I feel you when you express the need to get better.

Here's a link to my short if you have the time:

www.vimeo.com/220217

Filmmaking has a killer learning curve but totally worth it. Best of luck Steven.

Steve,

Overall I enjoyed your film & the concept. I would echo the comments about audio & lighting, however. Thanks for posting it for others to view/learn from!

Steve, I thought this was a very well written film. Some of the shots and stuff you could have done better, but there a few red flags as far as the filming goes. The two that stick out in my mind is first of all, like someone else pointed out, why would she open the door without knowing who it was. Second, and more importantly I think, why does she look through about three drawers to find her gun? Being a professional, she would definitely have known where she kept it plus the killer guy would have heard her open the different drawers.

I agree with most of the commentary, but i'd like to pinpoint something else, in the start when she goes to the door there are some (sorry to use the word) afwul pan movements, the camera is always panning a little bit, stopping for less than a sec, panning again, and over

You should avoid that, if you make a pan or tilt or any movement you need a nice start and a good ending, and the movement should be big enough, also many pans next to each other aren't a good combo either.

I do liked the story, the composition is very nice in some parts, the tension, it was all pretty decent.

Overall: good job :)