Update my DVC9 entry
 

Didn't feel right changing it while the competition was still running, even though I wasn't eligible.... but here is an updated version of mine.

Added music, boosted the sound at the beginning (although it's still rough) and made a few other tiny updates. Looked for material to recut the final scene, but had already wiped the extra footage off my drive. :)

Let me know what you think:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=woHOYsu2utI

A vast improvement. I enjoyed it much more being able to hear it more clearly. And the music was a nice additive.

I think you also reworked the levels of the court audio. I could hear that conversation perfectly.

Thanks for sharing.

-Jon

The music, and the boosted dialog definitely improve the piece.

I was going to ask why you didn't start a feedback thread - but got waylaid by work. I guess this is that thread.

I liked the acting ... seriously!

You and your two employees were great. The funny thing is that the look on the guys face, who was wanting to replace his eyeballs with a different part of his body which vaguely would have resemble eyeballs, was that of someone who was about to do just that. Him saying it was actually redundant. I also liked your vicious attack with the laser pointer.

You should have had your voice droning on in the background though. The scene was hurt by the fact that you just stopped speaking when the two guys started whispering to each other. A cut away of you concentratedly giving your sermon would have been good as well.

The racquetball scene was not bad either, not as good as the conference room but also funny. The dialog could have been a bit more directed at building up a fantasy about the mystery girl instead of the ineptitude of the guy who was going to meet her... I couldn't help wondering how many balls you got hit with while filming that part (I'm assuming you were shooting).

I like the idea of the ending, and although the bike was nice, your protagonist just comes off as an idiot ... that girl was much nicer!

Nice job Dylan, its amazing that you were able to host this bugger, earn money doing something, and get an entry done, and you incorperated the theme into your piece in the true DVC spirit. My hat is off to you. On top of that I like your humor... and your motorcycle, and your girlfriend ... and I better stop now.

Cheers,

DK

Hey Daniel

I do have a feedback thread, right here:
http://www.dvinfo.net/conf/showthread.php?t=101683

Thanks for the feedback, yeah, there's quite a list of things I would have done differently, live and learn.

Oh, the bike and the girl... just borrowed for the afternoon. :)