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Old September 21st, 2005, 09:36 AM   #1
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DVC3 "Last Words" Feedback

“Lord, hep me—I don’t wanta do this.” But everyone else had the guts to start a feedback thread, so here it is.

Just to save a little space I will explain an obvious omission. You didn’t see anything through the eye of the Handycam because I.…um….recorded over it.

And then the only battery I had really did go dead.

It’s a long story.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 09:55 AM   #2
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"Oh lord, why did I enter this contest? You want me to be embarassed in front of my peers don't you? No you wouldn't want that would you? Well, in the old testement, he was vengeful. What did I do to incur the wrath of the almighty? All I did was enter this little online video/film short contest...I mean, what did I ever do to him that he wants me to loose so miserably? I too am doomed. Man, I truely am the weakest link."

So goes the dialog in my head after watching 14 of the best shorts I have seen in this contest.

As everyone else in this effort so far, excellent. Great mood. You can tell, when I get sucked into the story line that fast, I like it. Normally I can sit back and look at things with a level of removal. Not this one. The dry(ish) humor is exactly what I like. Well acted and shot. The file I downloaded however had some rough spots playing back on my work PC. It might be one of several things but over all, another great short.

Sean McHenry
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Old September 21st, 2005, 10:04 AM   #3
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well, shoot, long stories are why we are here! the agony and the ecstasy!

i thought this was pretty good...a coupla chuckles in there is not such a bad achievement for a coupla (days? hours?) work. your actors were pretty good. did you give them a situation? or a complete script?

i think we get overly attached to our vision or our expectations and forget that the video has its own integrity independent of any of those things. for instance, that videographer who made "erasure" failed to capture his sound, and in some ways, his story might have actually worked better without it. one of the things i actually love about making videos is the way unexpected things creep into our work, making it its own thing. the serendipitous convergence of unanticipated coincidence.

also, as a fan of minimalist storytelling, i kinda liked these two clowns waiting for godot. hey man, if it's good enough for samuel beckett....!

right now, speed and special effects are the vogue. but the wheel always turns. maybe you are the avant-garde, just don't know it yet.

one of my personal all-time favorite films is david lynch's "the straight story" (starring the fabulous richard farnsworth) two hours of watching an old guy riding a tractor. and lynch makes a fantastic movie out of it!

i keep saying, sometimes less is more, but boys with new toys don't always appreciate the sentiment!

be nice to your little video. there's more there than you think.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 10:05 AM   #4
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Hey Lorinda from Spudville!

Way to go... That was hilarious! Totally got the hick thing happening...I'm proud of you. Us hick types need to stick together...lol

You had a beautiful crane/pan shot at the opener. And that sun shot definitely contributed well to the hot and dry feeling of your film. I found the dialog perfectly believable and well written.

Loved the ending too and the additional "HEP" deal. You see, I know people like this. You've got to love 'em.

Thank you so much for sharing your movie. Excellent job!
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Old September 21st, 2005, 10:28 AM   #5
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Very nice... these guys didn't seem to have any trouble in the world.. oh.. nothing big.. we are just gonna die... :)
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Old September 21st, 2005, 11:40 AM   #6
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Really liked this. Nice opening shots with the panning and the sun shot. Did the guy really mispell at the end or was it good acting ?, looked to me like he really got it wrong.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 11:48 AM   #7
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Thank you, kind folks, for taking it easy on me. I felt pretty dumb after seeing the other movies to this point.

@ Sean: Oh, the angst!! Mr. Reigning Champ, you have secured your place in DV Challenge history as a proven moviemaker. That is so cool.

I'm happy that you got into the story; coming from you that's quite a compliment. Interesting to see whose minds tune in to the intentions.

@ Meryem: Thank you so much for lifting up this meager effort! I loved reading your insight and opinions. After my other misfires in this challenge I promised my son that I would slow things down and zero in on a simple concept. After watching it he said, "Well....you certainly kept it slow and simple." I think maybe I went too far for many tastes. :)

You already know the answer to your question about the dialogue. I gave the guys a one-page "script" and told them to improvise. They have more fun that way. Basically, I was just there to capture whatever they did and offered very little direction. And I only had a three-hour window with them for shooting.

@ Bradley: If anyone would understand it would be my fellow hickster! Thank you so much for the support.

@ Fredrik: LOL! Believe it or not, many of us who grew up out here in Idaho are kind of like that! "Stuff happens.....deal with it." :)

EDIT: Andrew, that is funny! I'll have to tell Jeff and Mason what you said. The boys actually planned that out, so that's quite a compliment to their acting. :)
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Old September 21st, 2005, 12:16 PM   #8
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Nice job Lorinda. Mason and Jeff remind me of several friends I have from the south. Not a care in the world. You captured the essence of hicks in a perfect way. I can say that cause all my family comes from the south. Keep up the good work.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 01:26 PM   #9
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Lorinda, I enjoyed your work. First of all, this feedback comes from a relative newby to the video world, and a guy who's still learning more than doing.

As much as I am card carrying guy (meaning fire, explosions and toilet humour still entertain me) my favourite movies always come back to one thing...they tell a good story. As a planet, we are all caught up a circular, (and speeding up), vortex of technology, just-in-time need it yesterday mentality, and disposable everything. So when I downloaded and watched your clip, I was immediately struck by the difference. One location and two guys telling a story. Your opening post in this thread actually made me laugh as much the piece itself...oh the irony.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 01:45 PM   #10
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:))

That was dumber and dumbest on a squirrel chase. HEP me if i'm wrong, but that was plain absolute fun. I believe that one of the things that turns a concept into something of quality is when you get to worry on the details ("...and jeff" / "...with jeff!" etc). Those small things make or break the fun out of the movie.

Yours was very accomplished.

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Old September 21st, 2005, 02:00 PM   #11
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Oh man, you guys are just makin' my day! Thank you so much.

Hugo, you hit the nail on the head with that "dumber and dumbest" statement. Just what we were thinking, too.

And Dennis...what a cool read. Interesting insight and good writing! I see you appreciate dry humor.

About the family down South, Sean B.--is that why you live in L.A.? ;)
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Old September 21st, 2005, 02:10 PM   #12
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They claim to live in L.A. too. Lower Alabama. Hahaha. They get me everytime I visit.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 03:27 PM   #13
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Very nice

Just right the dialogue among the 2. I thought at the very beginning that the shots would drag, but as the delivery slowed, the pace picked up. Wow.
Only critique would be the choice to use dissolves instead of cuts where the time is constant.
Nice work.
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Old September 21st, 2005, 03:58 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy McKenzie
Only critique would be the choice to use dissolves instead of cuts where the time is constant.
That's exactly what my best friend said to me!!! Guess I'd better take another look at it.
Thanks, Jimmy!! :)
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Old September 21st, 2005, 05:48 PM   #15
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Lorinda,

I LOVED IT! "maw, dad, it's been nice knowing you and all..."

But I don't get why these city folks keep calling them "hicks?"
Ain't they never been squirrel huntin?

Dick
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