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Old September 22nd, 2005, 11:39 AM   #1
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DVC3 "Out of Focus" Feedback

Hello everyone, this is a great forum where there's plenty to learn.

"Out of Focus" is my first movie, ever. I saw this challenge and thought it would be a great way to learn just by "doing it", and most of all have fun.

We had a great time writing, shooting, and editing this short film and it was a good learning experience. The biggest challenge was developing an idea and writing it, learning how to use Avid, all in a short period of time.

I used an old Sony VX1000 and edited it on Avid Xpress Pro (of which I'm very new to).

So I am soliciting your feedback, I hope to apply lessons learned to my next project.

Here are some backup links to the video, just in case:

http://rapidshare.de/files/5298534/O...cus_medium.mov (11MB QT file)

http://s61.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2...L3B2BQNVIYEMTY (4.77MB QT file)


Thanks!
-Armin
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Old September 22nd, 2005, 12:30 PM   #2
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Armin. Nice job especially for your first time. You did a great job conveying the paranoia. Nice job with the editing too. I have used Avid for many years and love it. Keep on making films and you will learn more each time.

Definately liked the whole thing. I feel a lot like that guy some parts here in L.A. only the bad guys have the firepower. Keep on making your visions.
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Old September 22nd, 2005, 12:48 PM   #3
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Armin,

Sean said it! I perfectly got the feeling of the down-spiral the character was going throught. I quite liked it and if this is your first try at this, than its a very good one indeed.

Keep'em coming.

Hugo
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Old September 22nd, 2005, 12:49 PM   #4
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I'm wondering if we should send help. Just kidding, we all have Ar-16s hanging around the place and nickel plated 9mms right? I had a Star PD .45 for a long time. Just have the Mossberg 20 Guage in the closet next to the .22 Winchester these days.

The short was good and the scene where he looses it was pretty good. You explained most of it in the end VO. I like, as we all know by now, not giving the whole thing away. We have to imagine what happened and to who. We can now ponder our own fears over such an action. That makes it stronger emotionally for me.

Good first effort, keep it up.

Sean McHenry
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Old September 22nd, 2005, 12:55 PM   #5
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Hello Armin!

Very nice job on your first film!

Boy...that fella has a lot of hardware. I gathered it was him who was extremely paranoid and that either his mind was going (medication) or something else tragic had happened (as layed out in the end).

For someone with such a state of mind, who has altered their home to the point of adding several security cameras and packing semi-automatic rifles and a hand gun, I was wondering why he had so many open windows around. Or, why he wouldn't monitor "the noises" from his monitor. This is just me...and am curious?

You are ahead of the game Armin...keep up the good work!
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Old September 22nd, 2005, 01:25 PM   #6
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Thanks for the valuable feedback from everyone so far. I'm glad people are getting the feel of what this short was about.
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Old September 22nd, 2005, 06:30 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armin DeFiesta
Thanks for the valuable feedback from everyone so far. I'm glad people are getting the feel of what this short was about.
Armin,

I think it is well edited, and you have a lot of interesting camera angles, and your cuts add to the sense of urgency. However, I'm not fond of the subject matter.

I have a couple of friends that finished a 16 minute short, beautifully done in HD, great drama, well acted, good dialog, but in the end, the guy shoots himself in the head. I didn't care about the guy.

Maybe it's because I had a cousin that shot himself, (twice, the first time he didn't get the job done), so it could be just me.

But you have a good eye for the camera, so keep making movies!

Dick
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Old September 23rd, 2005, 12:24 AM   #8
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Great job. The suspense was built well. Maybe some blood for the gun suicide could have been added?
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Old September 23rd, 2005, 01:16 AM   #9
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wow....whoa...

Dude...whoa...hang on, gimme a minute.

Extremely tragic, and extremely well done - hard to believe it's your first time out. It really brought me down, man! You composed it very well, especially the ending VO and the closing music piece. Very heavy. I also caught the very quick clip with the medication and I was getting it right away. It's hard to say I loved it since it kinda brought me down, but I loved it in that non-twisted appreciation for the way you manipulated my emotion in the way deft articulation of audio and video can be. Great job. Keep them coming.
-Jon
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Old September 23rd, 2005, 09:29 AM   #10
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Very good, the only real flaw for me was that I didn't feel for the character, or know enough about him or his psychosis to care when he shot himself. Everything else was very solid.
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Old September 25th, 2005, 08:02 AM   #11
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Thanks Dylan and everyone else for feedback. Hindsight is 20/20 as many of us know, and there is always room for improvement as I make more movies. I watched every film posted and I was impressed by the time & effort put in to each of them. Best of luck to everyone, whether you win or not, we all win for just doing it!
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