DVC9 Feedback - "True Aim" - Daniel Kohl

[Daniel Kohl]

I thought I was getting mine done at the last minute! But I seem to be the second entry finished ...

Anyway, any and all comments welcome.

[Jesse Steele]

I think that may have been exactly what went wrong with my last 3 marriages?

loved the concept and laughed very hard when he nailed the guy after the credits!

good job
Jesse Steele

[Marco Wagner]

I almost fell out of my chair gasping for air, great flick!!!

[Jesse Steele]

I've seriously been laughing at the shot after the credits for days now! loved it!

Jesse

[Bruce Foreman]

Daniel,

I think that was very well done. I enjoyed the concept and had some good laughs out it.

Your acting talent carried it off neatly and I liked the camera work and camera angles.

[Ronn Kilby]

Good simple idea. I think most people would miss the talent it takes to convincingly play someone so inept. He also had a very goofy quality about him I found fascinating and appealing.

[Randall Allen]

Funny through and through....thanks for the laugh.


Randy

[Kris Holodak]

Fun. You know it's a good film - as opposed to just a good story, or a good play - when it's completely told with visuals and no dialog is required.

I liked all the close ups and cutaways. And the props and costumes were hilarious. I loved the cardboard bow. Nobody is ever hooking up if that's all Eros has to work with. Your lead actor was quite good to be able to pull it off only with his expressions and reactions.

Smile,
Kris

[Lisa Shofner]

I really like this one, it definitely goes well with no dialogue. Loved the cardboard sculptures (wings, bow, arrows).

To me, too many of the shots were centered though. maybe more varied angles would be even better. Easy to say, harder to do on a no-budget, little time flick. I also noticed that the sky was blown out - I don't know if a blue sky would have looked better or not, just something I noticed.

overall, a really good film.

I'm also a fan of the "after credits bloopers" type thing. i didn't have enough time left to do that on my film, so i created an "extended" version just for youtube (not for the contest) - which has some extra stuff after the credits.

[Daniel Kohl]

Originally Posted by Lisa Shofner

I also noticed that the sky was blown out - I don't know if a blue sky would have looked better or not, just something I noticed.

Thanks for the comments!

It would have surely looked better without the washed out sky (I was shooting with the iris shut all the way down - it was just too bright). I used a Pola filter to get the f/stop down a little, but it was basically hopeless. If I was going to try and exposed so that some detail would be in the sky, I would have had to wait for just the right time of day, or get a lot of big lights to fill in the actors. I tried to turn a problem into an asset by shooting the close-ups without the filter hoping to give cupid a heavenly appearance. (didn't really work though)

I was really just happy to have gotten everyone together in one place at one time for two hours.

To shoot a scene like this one, out doors in bright sunlight, one needs lights or reflectors in order to get the shadows bright enough compared to the sky. Otherwise the actors would just be silhouettes. Shooting near dusk or after dawn would help, but you would have to work fast, because the light changes more rapidly at those times of the day.

As far as the symmetry of composition goes, I was trying to use that. We had to take quite a few takes in order to get the not-star-crossed lovers to meet directly in front of cupid. That's why cupid had lots of chances to screw-up missing his target with the last throw. It's hard to get real professionals to work with! (btw he is a professional actor/comedian - for me; he makes the whole film)

[Stacy Dudley]

Definitely funny. I thought for sure he was going to get one of the two who couldn't decide wether to go left or right.

Great job!

Stacy

[Lorinda Norton]

He’s so bad he can’t even get outfitted with decent equipment! LOL!

I always like the perennial screw-ups—if they’re likeable—and this guy played it well. As others have noted, between your varying shots and his expressions you gave us a funny, yet bittersweet 2 ½ minutes from the concept, “Eros can’t hit the broad side of a barn. How could he ever help people meet?” Nice job, Daniel. Oh, and...welcome back. :)

[Dick Mays]

Originally Posted by Jesse Steele

I think that may have been exactly what went wrong with my last 3 marriages?

Three? Now I don't feel so bad. They say the third time is the charm...

This had a real nice feel to it. Nice pacing, music, and nice closeups on Eros, face. But I expected more of a payoff, the best moment was after the credits, hitting the guy in the head with the arrow.

Plus, what is cupid doing wearing jeans? Actors love to take their clothes off, so I'd have that guy sporting more skin up on that wall.

I'd also like to see the faces of the actors as they walked past each other, that moment of possible connection from each POV. Then Ero's blows it, the potential moment of connection passes, and they walk away.

But very enjoyable to watch. And nice wings. Lot's of work went into those.

Dick

[Daniel Kohl]

Originally Posted by Dick Mays

Plus, what is cupid doing wearing jeans? Actors love to take their clothes off, so I'd have that guy sporting more skin up on that wall.

I'd also like to see the faces of the actors as they walked past each other, that moment of possible connection from each POV.

And nice wings. Lot's of work went into those.

In my original storyboard I had a lot of back and forth shots between the two "lovers", and the ending was planned to work-out much differently. I did shoot inserts of the two people as they approached Eros, but I cut them out because I felt like they disturbed the films pacing. I felt like Eros's body language conveyed that he saw something, even though the viewer doesn't know what exactly, right away. I thought the bit of confusion was ok and it kind of fit in with the chaos that followed. But your right, the ending is pretty unspectacular.

Thanks for the complement on the wings. I burned the h..eck out of my fingers making them (out of two of my favorite substances: cardboard and hot glue).

Originally Posted by Lorinda Norton

Oh, and...welcome back. :)

Thanks Lorinda, it's nice to be back! I was going to make a comment because you welcomed Dick back - I was jealous! :')

[Dick Mays]

Originally Posted by Daniel Kohl

Thanks Lorinda, it's nice to be back! I was going to make a comment because you welcomed Dick back - I was jealous! :')

Dang! And I was feeling special!