DVC 5- Feedback- Proof of God at DVinfo.net

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Old April 15th, 2006, 12:16 PM   #1
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DVC 5- Feedback- Proof of God

Well its up. This is my first try at something like this. See everyone elses that went before, I got a ways to go... but it was fun doing this.

Original idea was to portraint attorney having all kinds of thing going wrong, kind of the down and out type like in "The Verdict" but couldn't really develop that theme in the 5 minutes.

Look forward to hearing comments.
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Old April 15th, 2006, 12:43 PM   #2
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You must have had difficulties shooting the dialogue with "God" in one take - so you had to use transitions, that spoils a little bit the flow of the movie...

But nevertheless your theme is interesting. So, what in the end is the proof of god: the fact he saw him and spoke with him or that he received a shovel full of money for his help...;) ?

EDIT:

I saw in my dictionary that "proof" has different meanings: evidence, attempt or test. Which do you mean?
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Old April 15th, 2006, 01:02 PM   #3
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I liked this one: nice consistent story (which incorporated an actual event in your town!), nice use of reflections, everything cleverly tied up at the end.

And it finally resolves that age-old question: What would Jesus drive? :)

Very well done!

Bill
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Old April 15th, 2006, 01:03 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Volker Krieger
You must have had difficulties shooting the dialogue with "God" in one take - so you had to use transitions, that spoils a little bit the flow of the movie...

But nevertheless your theme is interesting. So, what in the end is the proof of god: the fact he saw him and spoke with him or that he received a shovel full of money for his help...;) ?

EDIT:

I saw in my dictionary that "proof" has different meanings: evidence, attempt or test. Which do you mean?
It was my first time doing anything like this, so I learned I should have done some cutaway shots to fill the transitions-- next time.

As far as what was proof of god, to some it might be just seeing "god" as a reflection, to another it my be having his signature on a piece of paper, or to another... a deposit by god in his bank account... I think to the attorney, he has to deal in evidence, and he couldn't be convinced by anything else that was offered, but when that check was deposited, well that gave him some solid evidence ... :)
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Old April 15th, 2006, 01:06 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by William Gardner
I liked this one: nice consistent story (which incorporated an actual event in your town!), nice use of reflections, everything cleverly tied up at the end.

And it finally resolves that age-old question: What would Jesus drive? :)

Very well done!

Bill

A Kia Sorrento !! Thanks for the comments.
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Old April 15th, 2006, 01:08 PM   #6
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I initially expected "God" to end up being some escaped mental patient, or perhaps the devil himself; convinces the attorney to represent him for some unspecified infraction that ends up being something horrible...still great, mind you.

Seemed well constructed for the most part, the only comments I'd have are that the audio seemed to be a bit reverb-y (on the phone with his wife, for example), and the conversation with God could have used a cutaway or two to eliminate the need for the crossfades. Maybe a shot of the empty doorway, with you looking in the window, or something from outside, that makes it look like you're talking to yourself. I'm guilty of the same thing, not enough coverage.

I must say, it's nice to finally put faces to some of the names on the board. I've seen photos of some people on their websites, and I've had the pleasure of meeting a couple, but most remain cloaked behind their profiles. This is an excellent way to get to know one another.

Oops! My mistake, apparently I typed that bit about the cutaways while you were responding as well to say essentially the same thing.
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Old April 15th, 2006, 01:54 PM   #7
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I really don't have much more to add besides what was already said, for instance, in regards to the cutaways and the transitions. On your next short, you might also want to shoot from other angles as well -- it seemed like you only kept the camera in one spot in the office scene, perhaps to avoid seeing the camera's reflection in the window. But a few close-ups or medium shots from of the banker from different angles would've helped as well.
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Old April 15th, 2006, 01:57 PM   #8
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Robert: Yeah, I actually lost a bit of control of the shooting process being the actor at the same time, or I am sure I would have done a bit better job there. Actually considered shooting those very same cutaway shots you mentioned, but just ran out of time... To bad we all have another life.
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Old April 15th, 2006, 05:11 PM   #9
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Trust me, as we all know here, it really isn't easy to be a one man band on this stuff. Hard to frame yourself, hard to NOT look into the lens (for me) and a host of other issues. I can do the techie stuff but the story is king.

Your story is good. A little like a famous movie with George Burns but that's OK. Always room for other interpretations. Still, you are learning and that's the most important thing I get out of these. I get to learn.

Not bad at all considering. I liked the fast swish-pans to cover the transitions at the doorway in the begining of the show. Good idea there.

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Old April 15th, 2006, 05:12 PM   #10
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Good effort. Nice story. Your acting was good. I would have liked to have seen the story developed more, but what can you do with the time allowed ? It's a pretty complex theme you are developing. I echo the comments on the transitions.
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Old April 15th, 2006, 07:24 PM   #11
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To all, comments greatly appreciated.

As I said in another thread when I asked what we had learned in this challenge, I learned that I should try to convince my friends and family that they are great actors, because they are definitely better than me.

Swish pans actually turned out to work pretty good. After looking at the one in the bathroom several times, I think I should have cut it from the mirror view a little quicker.

I'm itching to improve my skill in the next one!!
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Old April 16th, 2006, 02:25 PM   #12
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Hi Chris!

This was your first try? Very impressed by your effort here and wish my first film was as good as yours.

I found your story to be quite clear and your choice to use an attorney as the main character, a good one.

"Was it just a dream? Something bad I ate?" lol I don't think you should be overly hard on yourself with regards to your acting. You did quite well.

Read your comment about cutting the bathroom mirror view scene a bit shorter and agree with your thoughts. Looks like you used cross dissolve transitions in the discussion with Jesus scene, while the conversation appeared to take place in "real time". Perhaps a standard cut would have worked?

You should definitely continue making films. I smiled when reading that you had fun doing this. Can relate to that very feeling.

Keep 'em coming!

Best wishes~
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Old April 16th, 2006, 07:19 PM   #13
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just the thought of acting in one of my own videos--!! (i've made "appearances," but acting??? gak).

very nice, for a first film. i can't believe the caliber of first films coming into this contest. it's excellent. viva la digital revolucion!

my one feeling, and this is my personal thingie more than a critique of your video. i just hope that if i ever encounter a living god, it will be so immense, so impressive, so full that i fall on my face with awe, so that i can't possibly mistake it for an encounter with a chili dog.... can video even represent the sacred? i ask myself this question all the time....
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Old April 16th, 2006, 07:41 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meryem Ersoz
just the thought of acting in one of my own videos--!! (i've made "appearances," but acting??? gak).

very nice, for a first film. i can't believe the caliber of first films coming into this contest. it's excellent. viva la digital revolucion!

my one feeling, and this is my personal thingie more than a critique of your video. i just hope that if i ever encounter a living god, it will be so immense, so impressive, so full that i fall on my face with awe, so that i can't possibly mistake it for an encounter with a chili dog.... can video even represent the sacred? i ask myself this question all the time....
Meryem:

I have that same feeling, and thought about it when I was doing this film. I had actually had the idea of using a little old man (ala George Burns) for the part, but my son's friend said he wanted to do it, so I ended up with a compromise. I was concerned about offending people, and I was trying to make it as innocent as possible.
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Old April 17th, 2006, 12:23 AM   #15
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Hey Chris,

You managed to walk the line on two fronts without crossing it, in my opinion. Good job!

Someone mentioned in another thread that phone conversations are hard to pull off. I felt like yours was completely believable. Was there actually someone on the other end of that phone?
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