DVC #6 Feedback: Bill Gardner (Sun Burns)
 

Bill... you've done it again! You rogue! Even the music's back! You've made sequels worth watching again. Plus, the whole thing looked very pro. Excellent.

Hi Everybody,

OK, I promise that I didn't pay Dylan to pick a theme that made a sequel easy. I've already asked him to not make the theme for DVC7 "Garlic". :)

My one request: please watch my DVC5 entry, "Love Bites", before watching my DVC6 entry, "Sun Burns". Without watching Love Bites, you probably won't have the foggiest idea what's going on. You can find Love Bites at
http://www.wrgardner.com/film/LoveBites

We shot this on the first Saturday of the competition on a Sony Z1U. We managed to sneak in one dolly shot using the very nice dolly we got from MikeT after DVC5, though we didn't really do it justice. I promise to use it better (and the new indicam steadicam-thingy I got recently but didn't use here) next time.

As always, constructive criticism and unconstructive praise is greatly appreciated.

You can also find more info on the film at the following link, in case you're interested.
http://www.wrgardner.com/film/SunBurns

Cheers, everybody!
Bill
PS: Thanks, Hugh, for the kind words, and for getting up early enough to start this thread off. :)

Second Bite gets even better.
 

This series is getting a life of its own. Great sequel. I love you two main characters, they go together like Abbot and Costello. Great chemistry.

Wow, Looked 100% better quality wise. Not that the first one didn't look good, but what an improvement. Great sequel too. I have to say I was a little disapointed in only seeing one dolly shot, you being the owner of a new dolly and all. Audio was top notch, props to the audio person. Extremely well put together, and in only 1 week. Amazing.

I must say this is a big leap in quality from episode one which I enjoyed throughly when it was first released. Funny the things you don't notice until you put together something better. Very nice job.

This would be a contender on Channel 101.

What a great idea! I sort of had a feeling he was being scammed once he left the house. The jump from his childhood to the present was not smooth for me, I thought it was another character at first. (I have not seen the first episode.) Other then that, it was great. Nice picture quality too.

Ack! How do you compete with this??? Fantastic job, Bill!! Quite possibly another winner. I'm a big fan of the "Love Bites" series. Can't wait till the next DVC. Hmmm....think the theme will be "Resurrection?"

Hi Justin,

Yeah, this was supposed to be another character (the shoplifting kid from Love Bites). I'm sure that this was mighty confusing given that you hadn't seen the first movie! :)

And thanks everybody for the kind words so far.

Unlike last time, I'm going to try to watch everybody else's in one showing when they're all posted, so don't treat my lack of feedback on the other threads as a lack of interest.

Bill

Unlike Justin, I didn't see it coming. Loved the idea of that kind of vampire slayer! Good thinking!!

As Hugh said, you've done it again. You've got the "movie formula" down pat, and you pull it off with great style. Niiiiice. :)

Bill,
way to go. Looking good. I wish I had a knack to write humor. Some day ask me about the script for Shakes the Clown. Eeech.

Anyway, I liked the prop work. Simple things like good props, especially when you have to make them yourself, that gets me believing. I don't need fancy 3D effect work from Maya, just give me a good story, the right characterisation and some props.

I liked the turning red and "dust" effects. It wasn't overdone and worked well. Too many folks go overboard on effects. This was good.

Keep after it. I encourage you, and the other in the contest to make sure you post these where other people can see them. Make a web site, get them on Google or something. There is a ton of BAD video on Google. We need the good stuff.

Sean

Hey Will thanks for clearing that up.

Second time around and I think a better video than the first. Excellent quality on the shoot. The camera work was also done really well. With the music, it oriented me immediately (I did see the first one). The story was great.

I missed the point about the young boy being the same one as in the store the last time, I also took it as a childhood shot; I guess I forgot about the boy in the first one, because that makes a lot of sense.

A very professional job.

I enjoyed Love Bites but this one had a better ending IMO. The vampire slaying was a nice touch. Good work as always.

Well, it looks like I've got this contest in the bag. The bag of failure, that is. Another great entry, Bill!

There were two things that bothered me, however. First is the scene when the salesman shows up--both characters smile and stick their heads forward the same way, and it looks kind of funny (I know the whole thing was supposed to be funny, but this seemed unintentionally so). I think a smile by itself would suffice, and though I imagine I'd think different if I were wearing the teeth, I don't think the smiles needed to be as big as they were. Kind of makes them look like dim-witted hillbilly vampires posing for school pictures, to be honest.

Second is the framing of the conversation they have once inside; Mr. Funnyaccent (I like the way it sounds, where's that guy from?) has more nose room than our protagonist, and I feel like I should be able to see the side of the vampire's head in those shots. A tighter shot of the salesman, or a wider shot of the vampire, might have made things feel more balanced in my mind.

Other than that, I really enjoyed it! The kid getting bundled up in the middle of summer (did he get scale for that? Looked awful toasty...), the newspaper puns--who doesn't love a good pun?--the salesman's accent, as I mentioned, and topping it all off, the noise Jay makes when he dies. Starts as your typical vampire hiss, then moves on to something else entirely. Loved it. I'd love to see who else is on the hunter's list, by the way.

One technical note, I have the latest Quicktime 7 installed, but encountered some oddities during playback of the "Good Quality" Quicktime version of the film (http://www.wrgardner.com/film/SunBurns/SB.640x360.mov); the file starts just after the "o" in "okay" at the beginning of the teacher's line. Then, at the end, there's some sort of noise in the radio announcers' voices. I've reviewed the film a couple of times, it's in the same spot every time. Is it me?

Wow, very nicely done again Bill. I didn't see any music credits. Did you compose that as well?

The only thing I can think of that I would've changed, is the addition of an establishing shot at the beginning. As Robert mentioned, it does seem like the movie starts in mid-sentence (the "o" in okay was cut off?).

Also, Robert, I don't think the noise is a flaw in Quicktime. I'm pretty sure that was done intentionally to signify a change in radio stations (although it isn't something you would expect to hear in a modern car like the Mini, so maybe that's why it didn't register for you right away).