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-   -   DVC 7 - Jamey Hastings - Laundry Day (https://www.dvinfo.net/forum/dvc-feedback/82462-dvc-7-jamey-hastings-laundry-day.html)

Jamey Hastings December 24th, 2006 09:30 PM

DVC 7 - Jamey Hastings - Laundry Day
 
Can't wait to hear some feedback...

Brent Graham December 31st, 2006 10:54 AM

Nice film!

A little peek into the psychology of a young woman. I especially liked the holed-worn-red shirt monologue, very nice. And the edit where you have the closing of the washer close out the memory was nice too. I really liked this idea, I've never really thought about how many memories do come with the laundry...no wonder I hate doing it! Haha.

I've totally turned a girls 'I'm sporty' shirt into an opening line!

Michael Fossenkemper December 31st, 2006 12:14 PM

I thought it was a great concept, cool little twist on some old t-shirts. It did seem like the script was a bit wordy, and hense the delivery a bit rushed to get through it all in time. I also like the out of focus stuff to give you the sense of memory, but she seemed really detailed about her memory and the out of focus gave me the sense that the memory was not as detailed. the recall and the out of focus were kind of at odds in my mind. I liked it though and would never have thought of an idea like that. great entry.

Mike Horrigan December 31st, 2006 12:19 PM

This one was really interesting and different. I loved the whole concept!
You worked the theme in quite nicely.

It was a bit wordy but you managed to pull it off very well.

Mike

Chris Barcellos December 31st, 2006 12:28 PM

Jamey:

Interesting concept. Memories to be sorted out like laundry. Kind of neat. I do have one of those torn and tattered shirts that I consider to be a comfort. Felt the narration was a bit emotionless, as opposed to the concept. As with all of us, compression also appears to have taken a toll on the production end. Overall great idea !!

Hugh DiMauro December 31st, 2006 01:16 PM

A very well-written, thoughtful movie. I liked how you worked the stereo sound back and forth through my headphones. Memories are interwoven through the fabric of all things. Thank you.

Lorinda Norton December 31st, 2006 02:11 PM

Hey! Jamey, I really liked this movie!!! As everyone else has said, what a NEAT idea, and I thought you did a great job of keeping the visuals interesting during the dialogue. I'm with Michael on the out-of-focus issue, but it's very minor and didn't really take away from my enjoyment of the movie. Your choice of music couldn't have been better.

That was a lot of fun. :)

Bradley L Marlow December 31st, 2006 03:03 PM

Hi Jamey
 
Hey! It's the Colorado Kid!

I'm with the rest of the crew here in admiring your unique approach to memories and shirts/laundry day. You have managed to find a universal theme and tell it from an individual perspective anyone could relate to. Good job!

"Boys are dumb like that." lol...I think she's right! Now, if you don't put Kelli Norris as Top Billing on your credits, she may strangle you with one of those shirts!

I see you managed to get some equipment from 2 TV stations. Can you mention what was used? Am curious?

Best wishes~
Bradley

Dennis Khaye December 31st, 2006 08:02 PM

Excellent entry, just needed to be shortened and cut tighter (just my humble opinion though). This was a very unique perspective (me being a guy and all). Loved the story concept but it kind of dragged on for me.

I did have another thought...

I would suggest using nine articles of clothing. Three minute film, three pieces of laundry per minute, flash backs to keep things lively and run three gags per segment (comedy rule of three used three times for maximum laughs). I think it would have been tighter and 'snappier' that way.

^all that says is just a bit more polish. Hard to do in a timed constrained contest I know so keep your chin up.

Bruce Foreman January 1st, 2007 01:00 AM

What a concept.

Take something as mundane as laundry and use it as a vehicle for memories.

The narration was visually colorful and tied well to each individual garment.

Out of focus is very often used to differentiate a memory from reality, in some other project you might try this: Drastic out of focus to introduce the scene, then bring it fairly quickly to either good focus or just barely out of focus depending on the effect you want. And back to drastic out of focus for the transition back to reality.

But in this one, my eye accepts what you did. You as the film maker tell the story your way.

I liked it.

Bruce

Jamey Hastings January 1st, 2007 04:38 PM

Thanks to one and all!
 
Thanks for all your feedback guys! I'm glad you all liked the concept! It was a big deal for me to make a movie again after graduating two years ago from college and not making one since...Although, it was a bit last minute, I had fun making it and doing a completely different style of movie than I've ever done before...never done an entirely narrated film or put myself into one...I realize it had a few problems, but it was just so cool to make a movie again!

Anyway, all your feedback is awesome and totally helpful! I commented to a few of your specifically to answer some of your questions...

----------------------

Brent -
"I've totally turned a girls 'I'm sporty' shirt into an opening line!"

That comment totally cracked me up when I read it...hehe totally try it :-)


Michael - "It did seem like the script was a bit wordy, and hense the delivery a bit rushed to get through it all in time. I also like the out of focus stuff to give you the sense of memory, but she seemed really detailed about her memory and the out of focus gave me the sense that the memory was not as detailed."

Wow! Yeah I totally didn't even think about the opposition between the detailed descriptions of the memories in the narration and the fact that I was showing them as blurry...You're totally right! Very insightful! I think in general a lot of memories are a little bit blurry and that's what I was thinking when I made them as such...but you're right the ones I chose to describe did seem very clear and vivid!

lol as for the rushed dialogue...hehe I'm not voiceover talent that could've had a bit to do with it :-)

Chris - "Felt the narration was a bit emotionless, as opposed to the concept. As with all of us, compression also appears to have taken a toll on the production end."

lol I felt my narration was a bit emotionless too...hehe its definately not my forte :-) lol yeah it was my first time trying to compress video for the web...well...with a limited amount of space. I definately need to figure out a better way to do it next time, especially after seeing how clear most of the other entries were.

Bradley - "Now, if you don't put Kelli Norris as Top Billing on your credits, she may strangle you with one of those shirts! I see you managed to get some equipment from 2 TV stations. Can you mention what was used? Am curious?"

hehe Kelli was actually only in the ping-pong scene...the rest was all Jamey, which is really weird because that's the first time I've ever put myself into one of my own films...hehe and perhaps the last :-) Directing yourself is a bit tricky especially when you don't do a good job of following your own directions! :-)

I volunteer at a church with a little tv studio...so I borrowed their Canon GL1 and a handheld mic (not ideal for recording nat sound, but it was my only option)...I work at KKTV in Colorado as a photographer, so I just used a computer there to edit on (Avid Newscutter)...lol the only thing I have of my own is a lightkit...lol which is bizarre considering you can't do much with JUST a lightkit...hehe...

Dennis - "I would suggest using nine articles of clothing. Three minute film, three pieces of laundry per minute, flash backs to keep things lively and run three gags per segment (comedy rule of three used three times for maximum laughs). I think it would have been tighter and 'snappier' that way."

Very interesting idea! I think that could've actually been really entertaining! I felt like it drug on a bit by the third shirt too...but at that point when I was editing there was no going back...Using more shirts or shorter memories about each could've been a solution!

Bruce - "Take something as mundane as laundry and use it as a vehicle for memories."

Thanks! That was totally my thinking too...I wanted to use some everyday mundane task or object and think of memories attached to that it...hehe I was trying to think of what chores I had to do the next day too and it turned out it was laundry day, so it worked perfectly! Although...I guess I only ended up getting those three loads done :-)

Hugh - "Memories are interwoven through the fabric of all things."

lol I think that quote should've been in the movie somewhere, beautifully put!

Thanks again!
Jamey*

Darryl Ahye January 2nd, 2007 11:04 AM

Hey Jamey,
Don't mind me butting in to congratulate you on your film, "Laundry Day". It had a lot of depth and the narration worked well. It's humorous because people really put their memories into objects all the time. Finding out what each item of clothing held for the character was entertaining (it felt like a mini Amelie scene). Acting in your own film is never easy but you make it seem that way (I mean, you even got your laundry done while doing it). You have to very talented to put out such a good film with just a light kit to your name, this shows you are truly resourceful. I can't wait to see what you produce next time. Compressing fo the web has always been a problem for me, just play around with it and you'll find the right balance between filesize and image quality.

Have a happy and properous new year!

Kris Holodak January 3rd, 2007 09:56 PM

I enjoyed this a lot. The delivery of the monologue, while a little fast, seemed just right for what it was. The editing was terrific. It really kept the mood and the style of the piece spot on. It was a "simple" story compared to some of the others, but in a good way, if you know what I mean. Very nice.

Smile,
Kris

Jamey Hastings January 4th, 2007 10:41 PM

Darryl - Thanks for all the nice feedback! lol I should make films about household chores more often so they'll actually get done! :-)

Kris - Glad you enjoyed the film and I totally know what you mean by "simple" :-)

Sean McHenry January 5th, 2007 12:39 PM

This is actually the second to last entry for me to view but it ranks in my top 5. I liked it and yes, boys are dumb like that. I think everything on initial reaction was fine, even the out of focus shots for memories. While you clearly remember where you wore each item, the memories are feelings, not "What buttons are on that jacket" They are always fuzzy. At least mine are. Some parts are clear as glass and others, the non-emotionally triggered aspects are in that fuzz.

Great job. You speak quickly but clearly so it worked out OK for me. Besides, I know a few people like that so I am tuned in to it. You might back it down a notch for clarity sake for other folks.

in my old television classes we were told to make sure everything can be understood by your viewing audience. If my grandmother was watching this, she might not be able to follow it but luckily, I was fine.

So, very nice job.

Sean


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