A vid short called "What if the sun explodes"
 

Hi Folks,

This is my first short where I am trying to relay an actual story. I had some trouble using a wideangle lens and zooming at the same time. It seemed to produce a fuzzy edge on the left side of the picture. I tried masking it in post editing as best I could. I welcome some feed back and comments.

Thanks,

Regards,

Oliver

http://www.blindchildproductions.com..._Short_med.wmv

It was nice.
 

A nice li'l film. I like the closeups of the actors and the color getting all jazzed out while the sun is expanding. Plus I like the dude with the cigarette. He just comes out of nowhere and he and the lady share a moment with their smokes. He's like, "hey, it's cool. I jog and smoke too. Let's watch the sun explode."

Nice!

Thank you Will.

I am not sure I got the story. I felt a bit cheated at the end as in unfulfilled. The title of the movie "what if" never got answered. It just seemed a bit random to me. If I were you, I would have explored the title more and gotten into either the reason why the sun may explode and/or the consequences of the same. I would get rid of the effects at the end. They don't help the story and they kind of look cheesy. Third, it wasn't clear that the sun exploded. No sound effects, or SGI supported the film. I wouldn't have known if the title didn't say it. It started out fine, some nice shots, but then it never satisfied my interest or expectations unfortunately. It just seemed more like an idea than a story, but ideas are not stories. They are just that. Ideas. Stories have a setup, conflict and conclusion.

Don't make the mistake that I and other filmmakers have made/make with lengthy credits in the beginning, especially if they are close or the same length as the movie itself. Put the in the end and make them quick. People don't watch movies for credits.

Hope it helps and please don't take my comments as harsh. They are not meant to be.

Good luck on your next project.

Thank you Brian,

Your commentary is exactly what I am looking for. I don't think it was too harsh and I am looking for pointers and suggestions. I have a great deal to learn.

Thanks again for taking the time to look at my short.

Regards,

Oliver

Hey, Brian, how dare you say that about my film, why you--o...dang...this is Oliver's film. Boy, I sure am touchy these days.

Pretty good job there, Oliver, though I'd have to say I agree with Brian's assessment. But hey, you got many more shorts to go, features, too, just apply, apply, what you've learned to the next film.

Personally, I'd have to say that frequently--though not all the time, leaving out the jerks--the best advice hurts the most. Usually because when you have sucky ideas or stylistic trends you're stuck on, it takes a blow to make you get off them.

Good luck.

Well, I was hoping for more input. I thought perhapse someone would get the ending and comment on it. I guess I was not subtle enough. The bottom line was "the universe keeps on going" after our sun explodes. I was trying to maintain a human touch up to the end without using too much computer graghics. I will post an alternet ending for review.

Mr. Lang,

Thank you for you input. It would seem that just as I thought I would not receive another comment, you kindly replied as I was just sending my last thoughts. Thank you. I am familiar with your name and your web site, before I became a member of this forum. Like I said to Brian and I say to you, I am greatful for your insites and your comments. I signed up for this thing to learn a thing or three and I am greatful that you responded. I am already working on an alternative ending to my short and I will post it for commentary.

Best regards,

Oliver

www.blindchildproductions.com

Well now.

You wouldn't be related to Nathon Lang?

Well, I now realize there are more than one "Langs". It was not "Nathon" who I thought I was communicating with. But, I was talking to "Elmer" all along. I just want to get my commentaries straight for the future. Regardless, I will post an alternative ending based opon your sugesstions gentlemen.

Thank you,

Regards,

Oliver

www.blindchildproducts.com