A vid short called "What if the sun explodes" at DVinfo.net

Oliver Pahlow · September 22nd, 2007, 06:53 AM

Hi Folks,

This is my first short where I am trying to relay an actual story. I had some trouble using a wideangle lens and zooming at the same time. It seemed to produce a fuzzy edge on the left side of the picture. I tried masking it in post editing as best I could. I welcome some feed back and comments.

Thanks,

Regards,

Oliver

http://www.blindchildproductions.com..._Short_med.wmv

Will Mahoney · September 22nd, 2007, 09:31 AM

A nice li'l film. I like the closeups of the actors and the color getting all jazzed out while the sun is expanding. Plus I like the dude with the cigarette. He just comes out of nowhere and he and the lady share a moment with their smokes. He's like, "hey, it's cool. I jog and smoke too. Let's watch the sun explode."

Nice!

Oliver Pahlow · September 22nd, 2007, 11:52 AM

Thank you Will.

Brian Duke · September 22nd, 2007, 09:15 PM

I am not sure I got the story. I felt a bit cheated at the end as in unfulfilled. The title of the movie "what if" never got answered. It just seemed a bit random to me. If I were you, I would have explored the title more and gotten into either the reason why the sun may explode and/or the consequences of the same. I would get rid of the effects at the end. They don't help the story and they kind of look cheesy. Third, it wasn't clear that the sun exploded. No sound effects, or SGI supported the film. I wouldn't have known if the title didn't say it. It started out fine, some nice shots, but then it never satisfied my interest or expectations unfortunately. It just seemed more like an idea than a story, but ideas are not stories. They are just that. Ideas. Stories have a setup, conflict and conclusion.

Don't make the mistake that I and other filmmakers have made/make with lengthy credits in the beginning, especially if they are close or the same length as the movie itself. Put the in the end and make them quick. People don't watch movies for credits.

Hope it helps and please don't take my comments as harsh. They are not meant to be.

Good luck on your next project.

Oliver Pahlow · September 23rd, 2007, 06:40 AM

Thank you Brian,

Your commentary is exactly what I am looking for. I don't think it was too harsh and I am looking for pointers and suggestions. I have a great deal to learn.

Thanks again for taking the time to look at my short.

Regards,

Oliver

Elmer Lang · September 23rd, 2007, 08:06 PM

Hey, Brian, how dare you say that about my film, why you--o...dang...this is Oliver's film. Boy, I sure am touchy these days.

Pretty good job there, Oliver, though I'd have to say I agree with Brian's assessment. But hey, you got many more shorts to go, features, too, just apply, apply, what you've learned to the next film.

Personally, I'd have to say that frequently--though not all the time, leaving out the jerks--the best advice hurts the most. Usually because when you have sucky ideas or stylistic trends you're stuck on, it takes a blow to make you get off them.

Good luck.

Oliver Pahlow · September 23rd, 2007, 08:08 PM

Well, I was hoping for more input. I thought perhapse someone would get the ending and comment on it. I guess I was not subtle enough. The bottom line was "the universe keeps on going" after our sun explodes. I was trying to maintain a human touch up to the end without using too much computer graghics. I will post an alternet ending for review.

Oliver Pahlow · September 23rd, 2007, 08:26 PM

Mr. Lang,

Thank you for you input. It would seem that just as I thought I would not receive another comment, you kindly replied as I was just sending my last thoughts. Thank you. I am familiar with your name and your web site, before I became a member of this forum. Like I said to Brian and I say to you, I am greatful for your insites and your comments. I signed up for this thing to learn a thing or three and I am greatful that you responded. I am already working on an alternative ending to my short and I will post it for commentary.

Best regards,

Oliver

www.blindchildproductions.com

Oliver Pahlow · September 23rd, 2007, 09:13 PM

Well now.

You wouldn't be related to Nathon Lang?

Oliver Pahlow · September 23rd, 2007, 09:48 PM

Well, I now realize there are more than one "Langs". It was not "Nathon" who I thought I was communicating with. But, I was talking to "Elmer" all along. I just want to get my commentaries straight for the future. Regardless, I will post an alternative ending based opon your sugesstions gentlemen.

Thank you,

Regards,

Oliver

www.blindchildproducts.com

September 22nd, 2007, 06:53 AM	#1
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	A vid short called "What if the sun explodes" Hi Folks, This is my first short where I am trying to relay an actual story. I had some trouble using a wideangle lens and zooming at the same time. It seemed to produce a fuzzy edge on the left side of the picture. I tried masking it in post editing as best I could. I welcome some feed back and comments. Thanks, Regards, Oliver http://www.blindchildproductions.com..._Short_med.wmv

September 22nd, 2007, 09:31 AM	#2
Will Mahoney Major Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 259	It was nice. A nice li'l film. I like the closeups of the actors and the color getting all jazzed out while the sun is expanding. Plus I like the dude with the cigarette. He just comes out of nowhere and he and the lady share a moment with their smokes. He's like, "hey, it's cool. I jog and smoke too. Let's watch the sun explode." Nice!

September 22nd, 2007, 09:15 PM	#4
Brian Duke Major Player Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hollywood, California Posts: 899	I am not sure I got the story. I felt a bit cheated at the end as in unfulfilled. The title of the movie "what if" never got answered. It just seemed a bit random to me. If I were you, I would have explored the title more and gotten into either the reason why the sun may explode and/or the consequences of the same. I would get rid of the effects at the end. They don't help the story and they kind of look cheesy. Third, it wasn't clear that the sun exploded. No sound effects, or SGI supported the film. I wouldn't have known if the title didn't say it. It started out fine, some nice shots, but then it never satisfied my interest or expectations unfortunately. It just seemed more like an idea than a story, but ideas are not stories. They are just that. Ideas. Stories have a setup, conflict and conclusion. Don't make the mistake that I and other filmmakers have made/make with lengthy credits in the beginning, especially if they are close or the same length as the movie itself. Put the in the end and make them quick. People don't watch movies for credits. Hope it helps and please don't take my comments as harsh. They are not meant to be. Good luck on your next project. __________________ Visit me and my work at www.artofduke.com Last edited by Brian Duke; September 23rd, 2007 at 12:51 PM.

September 22nd, 2007, 11:52 AM	#3
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	Thank you Will.

September 23rd, 2007, 06:40 AM	#5
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	Thank you Brian, Your commentary is exactly what I am looking for. I don't think it was too harsh and I am looking for pointers and suggestions. I have a great deal to learn. Thanks again for taking the time to look at my short. Regards, Oliver

September 23rd, 2007, 08:06 PM	#6
Elmer Lang Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: NY, NY Posts: 319	Hey, Brian, how dare you say that about my film, why you--o...dang...this is Oliver's film. Boy, I sure am touchy these days. Pretty good job there, Oliver, though I'd have to say I agree with Brian's assessment. But hey, you got many more shorts to go, features, too, just apply, apply, what you've learned to the next film. Personally, I'd have to say that frequently--though not all the time, leaving out the jerks--the best advice hurts the most. Usually because when you have sucky ideas or stylistic trends you're stuck on, it takes a blow to make you get off them. Good luck.

September 23rd, 2007, 08:08 PM	#7
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	Well, I was hoping for more input. I thought perhapse someone would get the ending and comment on it. I guess I was not subtle enough. The bottom line was "the universe keeps on going" after our sun explodes. I was trying to maintain a human touch up to the end without using too much computer graghics. I will post an alternet ending for review.

September 23rd, 2007, 08:26 PM	#8
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	Mr. Lang, Thank you for you input. It would seem that just as I thought I would not receive another comment, you kindly replied as I was just sending my last thoughts. Thank you. I am familiar with your name and your web site, before I became a member of this forum. Like I said to Brian and I say to you, I am greatful for your insites and your comments. I signed up for this thing to learn a thing or three and I am greatful that you responded. I am already working on an alternative ending to my short and I will post it for commentary. Best regards, Oliver www.blindchildproductions.com

September 23rd, 2007, 09:13 PM	#9
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	Well now. You wouldn't be related to Nathon Lang?

September 23rd, 2007, 09:48 PM	#10
Oliver Pahlow Major Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodridge Illinois Posts: 237	Well, I now realize there are more than one "Langs". It was not "Nathon" who I thought I was communicating with. But, I was talking to "Elmer" all along. I just want to get my commentaries straight for the future. Regardless, I will post an alternative ending based opon your sugesstions gentlemen. Thank you, Regards, Oliver www.blindchildproducts.com