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Old February 10th, 2008, 06:17 AM   #1
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My first short film

I have now made my first short film ever. Please give me some feedback on what's good and what's not. Need some advices on how to make things better next time ;-)

Remember, this is my first film ever and I don't really have a clue about moviemaking at all. It was shot pretty spontainously during a weekend just for testing my camera.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek89xXwq3qo

I also want suggestions for a good title for it.

Enjoy ;-)

Last edited by Tor-Atle Kindsbekken; February 10th, 2008 at 06:22 AM. Reason: forgot title
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Old February 12th, 2008, 07:14 PM   #2
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Hi Tor-Atle Kindsbekken;

I am sorry. I didn't watch the whole thing. It is very important to make sure you draw the viewers attention in early. Quite frankly, someone waking up to dripping water isn't very interesting. Let alone the fact that a 'wake up' scene is very cliche especially for student films. Some of the shots were waaay to long.

I understand this is your very first short film, and it's not bad for a first one. Keep making more becuse they get better each time.

For someone starting out in filmmaking, I suggest you read this article:
http://filmmaker.com/DUMPS.html

You don't have to take all of it's advice, but a lot of it is good advice.

Justin
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Old February 12th, 2008, 11:49 PM   #3
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Yeah man, looks like you have a lot of the technical stuff down. But you forgot the most important part, the creativity! This was very boring. I couldn't watch the whole thing. I want to see a lot more going on, and I want a much more creative storyline. Make it fun, make it thought provoking. Keep us entertained. Make me care basically. How you do that is your problem. That's your art. But yeah, if you want thoughts on the technical side that's cool and all. But as far as story goes it just dragged on and on and on.

Keep in mind I am also just now making filmmaking my life, but I find it is soo much more important to have a good story than focus on all the technical stuff.

But yeah, with a good storyline and that eye for a good shot I think you could definitely produce some great stuff.
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Old February 13th, 2008, 12:18 AM   #4
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Although the story was very minimal, the piece was only two minutes so I found that to be appropriate. It looks quite good so start working on more advanced stories and try to keep the good production values.
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Old February 14th, 2008, 05:13 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Tomchuk View Post
Hi Tor-Atle Kindsbekken;

I am sorry. I didn't watch the whole thing. It is very important to make sure you draw the viewers attention in early. Quite frankly, someone waking up to dripping water isn't very interesting. [...]
Well, it's not a commercial, so there is no need to draw attention in the first 30 seconds. I mean you only have to do that if your audience is a bunch of bored teenagers with adhd - but there are a lot of great movies that would miserably fail if you apply this "draw immediate attention" rule to everything...
However I find the ending pretty boring. He tapes the tap, so what? It's not really funny nor unexpected nor anything.
It looks pretty good, though.
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Old February 16th, 2008, 11:00 AM   #6
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Thanks

Hi again... and thank you verry much for all the great feedback :-)))

I sure know this is not a good story... *hehe* This is just some shots that I put together for testing my camera... ;-)

I do have an idea for a short film... but... I'm totally new to moviemaking, so I feel that I need to do a lot of experimenting and testing with my camera before I can proceed with the "real story"... So this is just one of those "experiments" ;-)

Anyway... I was hoping for some more feedback on the technical stuff... so I will really appreciate it if any of you guys have any good suggestions on the technical part of the movie... like lighting, camera angels and so on... ;-)

Once again, thank you verry much for taking the time :-)))
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Old February 16th, 2008, 07:36 PM   #7
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Hmmm - the close-up shot from the side of the bed looks kind of different to everything else. I can't tell you exactly what is different, but I know for sure they haven't been taped in the same place (or have they? Because if not then you have really screwed up delivering the right placement...)

Other than that I can only tell you that I am envious of you lighting set ups. Grrrrr. I wannna be best, how can can you be??? *LOL*
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Old February 16th, 2008, 08:26 PM   #8
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Gosh! Thank you verry much, Heiko... *blush*

Well... ofcorse you're perfectley right about the "close-up shot from the side of the bed". It is shot in the same place as the rest, actually... but with totally different lights. The room was so small that I had to remove one of the 300watt lights that I used to be able to place the camera in that corner of the room... so I replaced that 300watt light with a small 30watt video light to light up the floor and the side of the bed... hehe... so I guess that's the reason why that shot looks different from the rest... ;-)
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Old February 19th, 2008, 10:14 AM   #9
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I actually did like the idea. Although, most here felt it was boring - I tend to like the abstract and everyday nuances that we all experience. Very good sound and picture quality - even for youtube!!!
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Old February 19th, 2008, 11:41 AM   #10
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I thought this was great, specially for your first attempt (and I did watch the whole thing).

It seems as if you have the basics down, can't wait to see your next release.

Keep it up!
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