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Old February 10th, 2008, 11:50 AM   #1
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Gangsters, Guns 'n Guitars!

Hi there. This is our latest short film.

http://www.vimeo.com/455707

Let us know what you think: good, bad, indifferent?
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Old February 10th, 2008, 01:37 PM   #2
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Very nice! Loved the story. Nice hook at the beginning, nice tie up at the end. Very entertaining. I like how your cinematic shots weren't just eye candy, but helped the story along and gave that nice mood. I thought the sound track and voice-over was nicely done, simple and effective.
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Old February 10th, 2008, 04:41 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Michael Wisniewski View Post
Very nice! Loved the story. Nice hook at the beginning, nice tie up at the end. Very entertaining. I like how your cinematic shots weren't just eye candy, but helped the story along and gave that nice mood. I thought the sound track and voice-over was nicely done, simple and effective.
Agreed! Thank you for the entertaining lesson in great storytelling, Dylan.
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Old February 12th, 2008, 04:04 PM   #4
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Hi Lorinda and Michael.

Thanks for the kind words. I notice you're both from the US, hope the fake American accents weren't too annoying. :-)

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. The script is loosely inspired by an incident that happened to guitar legend Les Paul (no gangsters there though, he was in a car accident), and the bit about the fellow shot in the head did actually happen to a soldier in Northern Ireland (though maybe not at such close range!)

Mike, I'll pass on your compliments to Karen, our cinematographer. She worked really hard to give it that look with limited resources and one assistant who had to double up as lead actor.
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Old February 12th, 2008, 06:10 PM   #5
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The start reminded me of the beginning of Magnolia.

Really enjoyed it, great job. Like the ending.
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Old February 12th, 2008, 06:54 PM   #6
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Hey Dylan;

What a great short film, and good dialogue too. I liked the visual elements at the beginning. It kept my attention throughout. Just a few questions and criticisms.

When the doctor said he can heal Lenny's arm at an angle so Lenny could play better, I didn't notice an abnormality in his arm in the shots that followed. I was expecting his arm to be all out of whack, but it appeared normal? Maybe I'm just missing something.

Also, I guess this is a creative decision, but I felt that the entire video should be black and white. That way the new footage would blend in with the archive footage. The contract that Lenny signs in a shot appears very modern, like it was printed out on a computer. It might have been better to have the font on the contract set to 'Courier New', so that it appears the contract was typed in a typewriter.

One other thing, this is mostly just being picky but on title that shows up at the beginning 'Lenny's Luck', the apostrophe appears like ', when it should be like , slightly on an angle.

Justin
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Old February 13th, 2008, 12:15 AM   #7
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Nicely shot and I found it entertaining. The doctor had a good American accent if he is not from here. The guy who played Harry Melina wasn't bad with the accent. I just figured the other guys were supposed to be Irish mob. There are a LOT of accents in America, all of which are supposedly a form of English so almost anything fits in. You wouldn't believe the Hawaii accent/slang/pidgeon. It has completely different cadence, tone, and enunciation.
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Old February 14th, 2008, 10:21 AM   #8
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Justin, Thanks for the pointers. Good points all round. We tried to emphasise the bad arm when the producer shakes his hand, but it doesn't really come across. If his arm is permanently fixed to be suitable for playing guitar, what we needed to show was Lenny doing other things where the angle was an inconvenience.

You're dead right on the contract. We tried to degrade it, by photocopying it a good few times, and the font is a fixed with Mac font called "American Typewriter" which at the time looked older and more authentic than Courier, but I think it's next to impossible to get rid of the "laser printer perfectness" which still comes over. I think it's the weight and quality of the paper as much as anything. It is actually something I could reshoot as it's only quick. It's amazing the kind of detail that shows up.

I know what you mean about B/W but that was a deliberate choice. I did try it in black and white and it does look REALLY good, but I wanted the colour scenes when we get to Lenny to pop out, which gives it the sense that the other stories were old anecdotes, but when we get to colour, we're into the real story, and hopefully wrong foots the audience a little for the final twist.

Hi Joe, Yeah, I hear the Magnolia thing. I love that film and it was probably a subconscious influence. I reckon if you're gonna steal...

Marcus, The same is true in the UK. Accents are hard thing to get right. Have to admit the characters were mostly based on movie archetypes rather than any authentic research.
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Last edited by Dylan Pank; February 14th, 2008 at 02:24 PM.
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Old February 14th, 2008, 03:12 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Justin Tomchuk View Post

One other thing, this is mostly just being picky but on title that shows up at the beginning 'Lenny's Luck', the apostrophe appears like ', when it should be like , slightly on an angle.

Justin
I think it's because the doctor had to set it crooked. And a crooked slanted line looks like: '

Ok, not really ... GREAT work!
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