Please check out our new short

Tim Miller · June 17th, 2008, 01:34 PM

http://www.vimeo.com/1187859

This film was shot as part of the Kino Louisville Summer 48 Hour Film Kabaret last weekend. I am interested in reading what you like and do not like about the film. Thanks!

Jim Miller · June 17th, 2008, 04:33 PM

That was pretty funny. Great work for a 6 hr shoot! Nice shot selection. Acting was not Hollywood but pretty darn good. Had me believing it! Great job.

Tim Miller · June 18th, 2008, 08:21 PM

Thanks Jim for the comments. Anyone else?

Matthew Overstreet · June 19th, 2008, 09:32 PM

I liked the lighting (the separation between character and background was great), it was a little TOO warm in my opinion, but I liked the contrast with the deep blue outside in the background, so I guess it can be forgiven.

I have to admit that at first, I thought the acting was going to be unbearable ... maybe it was the first few lines spoken, but ... they handled the lines VERY well after that. The accent grows on you as well ... not too often you hear that accent in Hollywood films (gave the film more character). Reminded me of a nice couple my wife and I met down in the Caribbean who were from Ohio/West Virginia.

As far as the story goes ... it was DECENT (I say decent, because it was enjoyable to watch, but ... just read on). It seemed to lack a resolution (as so many short films do), but whatever. Short films are TOUGH. Far tougher than feature films when it comes to a solid plot with a clear resolution.

Overall, good production.

Matt

Dylan Pank · June 20th, 2008, 06:31 AM

I liked it too. you used the limits well. A good example of a short film using simple resources. I'm with Matthew that is seemed to peter out at the end a little, but not every short film needs to have a surprise ending (in facts that's getting to be a little clichéd).

One small thing. There's a line of action error at 1.16, but it's not really that noticable, as they're all sat around the table.

BTW I thought the other film on your vimeo page was cracking!

Matthew Overstreet · June 20th, 2008, 08:24 AM

Well, I wouldn't call a resolution a "cliched surprise ending" ;) I would simply call it a "satisfying conclusion that is inevitable based on everything that happened up to that point". Most people would say every story needs one ;)

Just an example, Shyamalan uses surprise endings, they tend to stick out so it seems natural that people would view his type of ending as the definition of a resolution/conclusion ... but in a film like American Beauty, the audience essentially KNOWS what the resolution is going to be from the get go ... through the voiceover in the very beginning we hear the main character say "I am blah blah blah, and in one year, I will be dead." It's HOW it happens that interests us as a viewer.

Dylan Pank · June 20th, 2008, 09:08 AM

Hi Matthew, I think you've misunderstood my point (I didn't phrase it well, but it's silly to re-edit it now) which was too many people try and force an twist into the end of their short films in luie of "satisfying conclusion that is inevitable based on everything that happened up to that point", or don't really end it al all.

I was agreeing with you after all. :0)

Tim Miller · June 20th, 2008, 10:56 AM

Thanks for the feedback.

Matthew: Yeah, it is a little warm. It’s a very warm room. But that is my taste – I tried to make it cozy and romantic. And the accents, hmmm, I guess that’s just how we sound here in Kentucky :)

As far as the resolution, we certainly weren’t going for any sort of Shyamalan thing. Actually, at first we were going to go for just a meltdown of awkwardness but instead we decided that maybe they find each other’s “distractions” charming and they hit it off – much to the disgust of the Rusty character.

Dylan: Regarding the line of action error. I’m fairly new at this so I’m not seeing it. Can you elaborate? Also, thanks for checking out the other film, Crossing the Line (how ironic). What does cracking mean? I’m hoping it means funny.

The first scene with the doorbell and the final shot with the zoom out were shot last. Not to make excuses but we literally had like ten minutes to get those shots before the guy playing the Norman character had to leave. But that’s the kind of thing that happens in a 48 hour event.

Dylan Pank · June 20th, 2008, 11:53 AM

Don't worry"cracking" is good. See Wallace and Gromit: "Cracking cheese, Gromit!"

The line of axis thing. When one character (Rusty) talks to Justine, they're both looking in the same screen direction (from screen left to screen right). They should be looking in opposite directions so their eye-lines converge in editing. On set the idea is that for the exchange "How do you an marie know each other" "well we work together..." is that there is an invisible line from Rusty to Justine and the cameras for each close up would stay on one side of that line.

i.e. when Justine answers, the camera should have been by Rusty's right shoulder instead of his left shoulder between him and Norman. It would have meant an extra set up, so given your time constraints, you probably made the right compromise.

Tim Miller · June 21st, 2008, 10:51 PM

Dylan, thanks for clearing that up. I'm still learning and I appreciate any constructive criticism I receive. I would like to say that I made the "choice" to not do another setup based on time constraints. But the truth is I wasn't aware I was commiting an error. Each film is another learning experience. Thanks again!

June 17th, 2008, 01:34 PM	#1
Tim Miller Regular Crew Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 43	Please check out our new short - Lettuce Break Bread http://www.vimeo.com/1187859 This film was shot as part of the Kino Louisville Summer 48 Hour Film Kabaret last weekend. I am interested in reading what you like and do not like about the film. Thanks!

June 20th, 2008, 08:24 AM	#6
Matthew Overstreet Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Whitman, Massachusetts Posts: 168	Well, I wouldn't call a resolution a "cliched surprise ending" ;) I would simply call it a "satisfying conclusion that is inevitable based on everything that happened up to that point". Most people would say every story needs one ;) Just an example, Shyamalan uses surprise endings, they tend to stick out so it seems natural that people would view his type of ending as the definition of a resolution/conclusion ... but in a film like American Beauty, the audience essentially KNOWS what the resolution is going to be from the get go ... through the voiceover in the very beginning we hear the main character say "I am blah blah blah, and in one year, I will be dead." It's HOW it happens that interests us as a viewer. Last edited by Matthew Overstreet; June 20th, 2008 at 09:01 AM.

June 17th, 2008, 04:33 PM	#2
Jim Miller Major Player Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Tampa,Florida Posts: 236	That was pretty funny. Great work for a 6 hr shoot! Nice shot selection. Acting was not Hollywood but pretty darn good. Had me believing it! Great job.

June 18th, 2008, 08:21 PM	#3
Tim Miller Regular Crew Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 43	Thanks Jim for the comments. Anyone else?

June 19th, 2008, 09:32 PM	#4
Matthew Overstreet Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Whitman, Massachusetts Posts: 168	I liked the lighting (the separation between character and background was great), it was a little TOO warm in my opinion, but I liked the contrast with the deep blue outside in the background, so I guess it can be forgiven. I have to admit that at first, I thought the acting was going to be unbearable ... maybe it was the first few lines spoken, but ... they handled the lines VERY well after that. The accent grows on you as well ... not too often you hear that accent in Hollywood films (gave the film more character). Reminded me of a nice couple my wife and I met down in the Caribbean who were from Ohio/West Virginia. As far as the story goes ... it was DECENT (I say decent, because it was enjoyable to watch, but ... just read on). It seemed to lack a resolution (as so many short films do), but whatever. Short films are TOUGH. Far tougher than feature films when it comes to a solid plot with a clear resolution. Overall, good production. Matt

June 20th, 2008, 06:31 AM	#5
Dylan Pank Major Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Portsmouth, UK Posts: 611	I liked it too. you used the limits well. A good example of a short film using simple resources. I'm with Matthew that is seemed to peter out at the end a little, but not every short film needs to have a surprise ending (in facts that's getting to be a little clichéd). One small thing. There's a line of action error at 1.16, but it's not really that noticable, as they're all sat around the table. BTW I thought the other film on your vimeo page was cracking!

June 20th, 2008, 09:08 AM	#7
Dylan Pank Major Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Portsmouth, UK Posts: 611	Hi Matthew, I think you've misunderstood my point (I didn't phrase it well, but it's silly to re-edit it now) which was too many people try and force an twist into the end of their short films in luie of "satisfying conclusion that is inevitable based on everything that happened up to that point", or don't really end it al all. I was agreeing with you after all. :0)

June 20th, 2008, 10:56 AM	#8
Tim Miller Regular Crew Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 43	Thanks for the feedback. Matthew: Yeah, it is a little warm. It’s a very warm room. But that is my taste – I tried to make it cozy and romantic. And the accents, hmmm, I guess that’s just how we sound here in Kentucky :) As far as the resolution, we certainly weren’t going for any sort of Shyamalan thing. Actually, at first we were going to go for just a meltdown of awkwardness but instead we decided that maybe they find each other’s “distractions” charming and they hit it off – much to the disgust of the Rusty character. Dylan: Regarding the line of action error. I’m fairly new at this so I’m not seeing it. Can you elaborate? Also, thanks for checking out the other film, Crossing the Line (how ironic). What does cracking mean? I’m hoping it means funny. The first scene with the doorbell and the final shot with the zoom out were shot last. Not to make excuses but we literally had like ten minutes to get those shots before the guy playing the Norman character had to leave. But that’s the kind of thing that happens in a 48 hour event.

June 20th, 2008, 11:53 AM	#9
Dylan Pank Major Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Portsmouth, UK Posts: 611	Don't worry"cracking" is good. See Wallace and Gromit: "Cracking cheese, Gromit!" The line of axis thing. When one character (Rusty) talks to Justine, they're both looking in the same screen direction (from screen left to screen right). They should be looking in opposite directions so their eye-lines converge in editing. On set the idea is that for the exchange "How do you an marie know each other" "well we work together..." is that there is an invisible line from Rusty to Justine and the cameras for each close up would stay on one side of that line. i.e. when Justine answers, the camera should have been by Rusty's right shoulder instead of his left shoulder between him and Norman. It would have meant an extra set up, so given your time constraints, you probably made the right compromise.

June 21st, 2008, 10:51 PM	#10
Tim Miller Regular Crew Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 43	Dylan, thanks for clearing that up. I'm still learning and I appreciate any constructive criticism I receive. I would like to say that I made the "choice" to not do another setup based on time constraints. But the truth is I wasn't aware I was commiting an error. Each film is another learning experience. Thanks again!