5 minute short..The Infected at DVinfo.net

James C Sadeghi · February 23rd, 2009, 04:37 AM

This is my second short film, one man crew, two actors. Any feedback would be appreciated.

YouTube - The Infected (Short Film)

James C Sadeghi · February 24th, 2009, 10:39 PM

come on guys..

Dylan Couper · February 24th, 2009, 11:16 PM

Sure...

First.... I thought your audio mix was excellent! Definitely brought some tension into the film.

The editing was also solid and flowed from shot to shot.

The part where it lacked was the story. Nothing happened. No payoff. When you write, you need to ask yourself "why does the audience care, and what do they get out of this?"

And, I can safely say, having seen about 284 zombie movies (282 if you don't count the 28 Days/Weeks movies), it didn't really give anything I haven't seen many times before. Person keeps infected spouse tied up.... it's a cliche. Give the audience something new.

Sverrir Fridriksson · February 25th, 2009, 05:08 AM

The following has *spoilers* for those who haven't watched yet.

I'm with Dylan on this. "The Cleaner" had this smart idea that worked perfectly for a short. This one is lacking that. I's also very hard to pull something like this off while shooting in a regular home. It's been over a year, and everything looks so clean. Even the bed and everything surrounding it. Even the lady on the bed. Surely it would be extremely hard to keep her and her surroundings nice and tidy? So maybe he took extra care to clean things up that day (he is wearing his suit, after all), but in that case it would require an explanation. The setting simply lacks a "there are zombies out there" look.
Also, I think what he does at the very end is not supposed to be physically possible. Built in survival instinct kicks in and overrides the willpower. He would have simply ripped the bag open.

James C Sadeghi · February 25th, 2009, 01:37 PM

Thanks for the feedback. I will use every bit to make my next short even better.

Jay Kavi · February 25th, 2009, 02:44 PM

James,

I thought the sound and editing were pretty good. but the short definitely lacked in art direction and story. It looked good, but the story and the look weren't cohesive, and I would suggest not shooting people up against walls if you can.

You noted on youtube that you shot in 6 hours and cut it in 8. was that all in one day or over a few days, how long did you take to plan it out?

James C Sadeghi · February 26th, 2009, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay Kavi

James,

I thought the sound and editing were pretty good. but the short definitely lacked in art direction and story. It looked good, but the story and the look weren't cohesive, and I would suggest not shooting people up against walls if you can.

You noted on youtube that you shot in 6 hours and cut it in 8. was that all in one day or over a few days, how long did you take to plan it out?

Well, I was moving out of my apartment building, and said to myself, why not just put something small together, and make another, so I did. Wrote down the concept, then the script, and shot it two days later. I shot it in 6 hours, 4 hours on the first day, the actors came in a little late so the sun went down, and 2 hours on the next day to capture the balcony scene. It took me 8 hours over 2 days to finish editing.

Thanks for all the feedback.

February 23rd, 2009, 04:37 AM	#1
James C Sadeghi Regular Crew Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 30	5 minute short..The Infected This is my second short film, one man crew, two actors. Any feedback would be appreciated. YouTube - The Infected (Short Film)

February 24th, 2009, 11:16 PM	#3
Dylan Couper Wrangler Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 8,314	Sure... First.... I thought your audio mix was excellent! Definitely brought some tension into the film. The editing was also solid and flowed from shot to shot. The part where it lacked was the story. Nothing happened. No payoff. When you write, you need to ask yourself "why does the audience care, and what do they get out of this?" And, I can safely say, having seen about 284 zombie movies (282 if you don't count the 28 Days/Weeks movies), it didn't really give anything I haven't seen many times before. Person keeps infected spouse tied up.... it's a cliche. Give the audience something new. __________________ Need to rent camera gear in Vancouver BC? Check me out at camerarentalsvancouver.com

February 24th, 2009, 10:39 PM	#2
James C Sadeghi Regular Crew Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 30	come on guys..

February 25th, 2009, 05:08 AM	#4
Sverrir Fridriksson Regular Crew Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Iceland Posts: 58	The following has spoilers for those who haven't watched yet. I'm with Dylan on this. "The Cleaner" had this smart idea that worked perfectly for a short. This one is lacking that. I's also very hard to pull something like this off while shooting in a regular home. It's been over a year, and everything looks so clean. Even the bed and everything surrounding it. Even the lady on the bed. Surely it would be extremely hard to keep her and her surroundings nice and tidy? So maybe he took extra care to clean things up that day (he is wearing his suit, after all), but in that case it would require an explanation. The setting simply lacks a "there are zombies out there" look. Also, I think what he does at the very end is not supposed to be physically possible. Built in survival instinct kicks in and overrides the willpower. He would have simply ripped the bag open.

February 25th, 2009, 01:37 PM	#5
James C Sadeghi Regular Crew Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 30	Thanks for the feedback. I will use every bit to make my next short even better.

February 25th, 2009, 02:44 PM	#6
Jay Kavi Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 243	James, I thought the sound and editing were pretty good. but the short definitely lacked in art direction and story. It looked good, but the story and the look weren't cohesive, and I would suggest not shooting people up against walls if you can. You noted on youtube that you shot in 6 hours and cut it in 8. was that all in one day or over a few days, how long did you take to plan it out?