Here´s my first submission to lapidation...
 

This is the first piece of fiction I shot and edited with my new cam, my old PC and my new Vegas...

So come on.. through them at me... I can take it... (If I cry you won´t see me anyway)...

Windows Media www.def3ct.com/evolsub.wmv 6.7megs
Quicktime www.def3ct.com/evolsubmov.mov 8.5 megs

If you are on Windows I reccomend to watch the WMV version... as it looks better than the MOV...

It´s in spanish.. but subtitled

Federico,

Crank out a QT version so we Mac people can see...por favor.

Isn´t the second link working on mac?...

I thought all .mov files could be played by any mac.
If not.. then I don´t know what to do then... ?¿?
sorry, I´m not bilingual when it comes to mac/windows...

Or by "Crank out" do you mean something else?

.mov works for me
 

I just watched the .mov on my Mac and it came across fine.

Interesting story, almost seems like an intro to a longer piece.

It could have been edited a bit tighter - for example, when cutting from the CU of the dad looking at the bit he finally chose to the wider shot of his hand dropping to the drill, I'd have cut right as his hand is starting to drop. Cutting on motion tends to smooth things out. We've just seen him pause to look at the bit, so even having the half second pause in the wider shot draws attention to it being a new shot.

The cuts leading up to the CU of the dad looking at the bit are much better, as there is constant movement.

There were a couple of other cuts where you might want to look at this - going back and forth between the CUs on the book and the girl/dad.

But these are really just small things that I noticed. The story was small, and there was a good variety of shots to keep things interesting.

A question for you. I'll try to ask this so that I don't give away the ending too much. Was it your intention to have the hardware be very basic and not look too high tech? Or was that a budget related issue? I think it kind of works, like these ore the first group of the next step in the evolutionary change, and there is still room to get better.

I hope you can tell that I liked it overall, and these are just suggestions for making it even better. And at least you've got a short out there that you've shot and edited, which is more than I can say (I've done mostly multi-camera event recording and editing like concerts, etc,).

Keep up the good work!

Yeah..
After I finished I took my head away of the short for a week or so.. and after watching again.. I see a few places where editing needs retouching... and a few other issues which I won´t say here to see if others can notice it...

About it seeming intro to another piece.. well recently I´ve decided that I will only get involved in very short pieces of fiction (either mine or friends) ... I just want to do really short stories... I´ve found myself (and lot others) to have a very short attention span while watching stuff on a PC... Besides it´s shorter to download... and I don´t get burned out on projects that take forever...

About the Lo-tech question... I could make a whole philosofical statement about it.. but to make a story short.. we knew we couldn´t get Hi-tech stuff without looking cheesy (budget related)... so we decided to give this story a kind of Rural-country allmost antique feeling to the story... to make some kind of contrast to the supposed to be "Hi-tech"... That´s were the washed out colors come on.. and the book... the stone walls, etc.. And it doesn´t give the story right away.. so It worked for us...

So yes.. a budget issue led us to rewrite a little and get into these peoples lifes.. and created a whole world that cannot be seen, but it´s outside the room they are.. and all that for around
2 minutes of story..

(This is also why I get burned out on longer projects... They suck me in and I just can´t get my mind to do other stuff, like work.)..

KEEP THEM COMING...

70 views.. only two replies.. only one related to the content...
Well.. is it that bad?
Is it that no one seen it? or no one has anything to say?

Five reason to watch it:

1 - GL2 / XM-2 people check out some images of the XM-2.

2 - Wannabuy GL2 / XM2 check out some images of the XM-2.

3 - Lightinig people... Check out a scene shot with five mercury street lights we picked up from the trash.

4 - You can be a part of my succes :) by encouraging me... or by trying to do the opposite.

5 - You can see how bad/good others are in relation to what you are doing.

6.- *(Added bonus)* you get to watch something else than LadyX episode... I mean they are really cool, but variety is allways good.
(Mind note: mmmm I guess LadyX has a lot of variety so I should edit this last point, ok... mmm Do I smell food?...let me get some of that.. i´ll be back soon)

love the idea, and the imagequality, cinélook somehow.

I would have used some more different angles, when the girl's talking for example... The music is a bit too loud while speaking , my opinion. And yes it doesn't have the right ending......?! even the message comes through.

very well done though.

congrats
jacko

thanx for the input...

About the girl, we planned a lot more angles, but after this day, I know by experience why Hitchcock didn´t like to work with kids and dogs. I mean the girl is 4 and has no experience on this... neither the "director"... so you can imagine how that worked.

About the music too loud.. is great that you mention it.. since I mix with cheap speakers and Headphones, and allready know the dialogs and all that... I kind of missed that..

About the ending... well you can see the five alternate endings when we release the Director´s cut on DVD. :-).

I really liked the story idea! Very nice!! I wasn't too fond of
the look of the piece and certain coverage, but that is forgiven
by the story!

One other thing: why would the girl need glasses? <g>

Very nice. As far as the story goes, it was a very tight and powerful piece. I like how things are slowly revealed to us. It has a strong message, too.

Aesthetically speaking, it was a bit too washed out for me; I think a bit more contrast is in order.

Or why is she a kid?.. do they grow up?... or why is she reading a book?, or why do they wear clothes? etc... well all that has an explanation in that world.. but it would be kind of difficult and boring to explain here.. Besides It will give away too much of the story for those who haven´t seen it..
But I guess It would have been better with out her glasses...

I think I really need to check this movie on other Monitors.. I did wash out the colors and contrast on purpose.. but I do like how it looks here...
maybe my monitor and TV are way off...

This reviewing thing by people that don´t know me is a great excercise for me.. thanx..