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Old August 17th, 2004, 02:56 PM   #1
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Suicide film

This is a project i did for school last semester, though I've never gotten any feedback on it. So here it goes.

http://www.hazardousproductions.com/..._minutes_s.mov

p.s. Their are some errors from when i renderred it as far as cutting goes. I didn't render the looped region so their is extra black at begining and the end.
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Old August 17th, 2004, 03:16 PM   #2
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Fred: I could not really connect to the subject personally, but
then again it is a "tough" subject.
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Old August 17th, 2004, 03:36 PM   #3
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Haha i'm fixing it now. I forget to check the box that said render looped region only in vegas. Thats why that is like that.

*EDIT* Wall la its fixed.


Aditionally if anyone wants to screen the rough edit of my next short please right click save target as here
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Old August 19th, 2004, 01:26 PM   #4
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Good job on Hay Fever.
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Old August 19th, 2004, 02:33 PM   #5
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Fred - Excellent writing and delivery. However, I think the piece would have further emotional impact on the viewer if camera operating was done by a 3rd party. Not to discredit filming you filming yourself, you did well in that regard, but I think I you could've attained a lot more visual interest/impact if someone else were on board acting as the DP. Just my .02
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Old August 19th, 2004, 10:31 PM   #6
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Thanks TL, yeah Devin I agree!! Some of the shots are a little shaky... Unfortunately I don't know many people here who are willing to help... so my projects end up being solo gigs :) But i'm moving to Nebraska this weekend, and I found a film group out there so hopefully that will change.
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Old August 20th, 2004, 07:53 AM   #7
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That's good news! Thankfully where I attend school there's a whole slew of people interested in film-making. Although it's often said that film-making is a team effort it never really sinks in until you produce something by yourself, and then with a team of dedicated individuals. Production values rise 10 fold, and the end product is amazing (well, usually lol). I wish you all the best out in Nebraska!
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Old August 20th, 2004, 12:48 PM   #8
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Fred, was Thomas your brother and is that how he died? That kind of shook me as I watched the end credits since he was only 18 and had the same last name as you.

As far as feedback, I recommend you put a lot of polish on the audio. Sometimes the music is a little overbearing and it's hard to understand the voice.

Also slow the credits down a bit at the end.
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Old August 20th, 2004, 11:41 PM   #9
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Hey Jim,

He was my uncle. My dad's youngest brother. Yeah he was 18, he had some substance abuse problems and shot himself while under the influence. But it felt like he was a brother. He was my godfather, and my whole family always told me how we looked exactly alike, and we both ended up doing the same sports, and i was never pushed to play any sports nor was he.

I did this cause I felt like I understood him. Having battled with depression in High School I could defintely tell where he was coming from, and that drove me to want to make something that calls out to people. Because you never really know what someone is thinking. They may seem alright, and say they are alright, but that does not mean they are. Actions speak louder than words. If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck. It is a duck, even if it denies it :) (especially if it denies it).

As for the audio yeah it needs some fine tuning. Do you remember any specific points where the music and VO conflicted?

The plan is to get it polished up as much as possible and see if i can donate it to some youth programs, or to some schools for aiding suicide education. See what happens.

Thanks.
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Old September 1st, 2004, 08:40 PM   #10
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Fred,

I can understand where you are coming from having no one to help you with your shoots. I often find myself in that same situation... a really good idea, but no realistic way to accomplish it by myselff with out it showing. Overall, I think you did a good job with what you had though. The quality of the audio and video, though desired, is still second to a good story. I can tell you have the ability, just now you need the tools.

On a different note, not to accuse you of anything, I know "Fight Club" like the back of my hand, and it seems like much of your monolouge was taken from it. Am I wrong in this observation???
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Old September 2nd, 2004, 06:05 PM   #11
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it's not playing for me
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Old September 5th, 2004, 11:20 PM   #12
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I didn't quite get the feel of Fight Club from that. Not at all, Fight Club is more about Male bonding (ask Chuck Palahniuk at his website) This short was about suicide, not Fight Club.

I could really connect the story on a personal level, but I do agree the music washes out the voice over somewhere around the end of the short. You have put out a powerful message with this piece of work, you executed it very well especially doing it by yourself. You definately posess a fine talent, keep it up!
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Old September 6th, 2004, 01:55 PM   #13
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Hey Nich,

The only thing that i was inspired by from fight club was the voice fluctuation (not sure if it is in this version...) But no, the dialogue I wrote, I have a BA in Psychology, and have done a lot of independent research and what not. The only correlation i could admit to would be dealing with mental illness. Where Jack is suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder, and my character is suicidal. Granted their are depression elements present in both of these subjects, I don't know if that is the similarity you are picking up on, but very possibly it is. The weird thing about mentall illness is that they almost never appear by themselves, so someone manifesting symptoms from something that appears to be one thing, is very often accompanied by other stuff. Sorry kinda long winded. But no, I didn't use the Fight Club monologues.

*edit Ok I just re-watched the film to see. The correlation that I could see someone picking up on is the imagery when referencing people, but the context is different. Tyler Durden is referencing people as decaying matter, I am referencing the after life or the lack of one, a decomposition of DNA. And the only other one i saw was the "American Dream" part, but that feels to me different enough. Were they were challenging the ways in which societal standards invade peoples desires, i'm just questioning what the "American Dream" is. But thanks for the feedback. Good to go through it again with a different point of view!
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Old September 6th, 2004, 06:41 PM   #14
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Here are the some other dialouge similarities that i noticed between this and Fight Club...

"Everything's a shadow, of a shadow..." / "Everything's a copy, of a copy..."

"...and if they do, they're just waiting for their chance to talk." / "instead of just waiting for their turn to speak."
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Old September 7th, 2004, 09:07 AM   #15
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Yeah and here is where you get overlap within the mental health industry.

Clients come in and report a certain group of symptoms these symptoms are how a doctor diagnoses a client. Jack is referring to insomnia he says everything is a copy of a copy, meaning that he can't tell the difference between what is real and what is a production of his inability to sleep, and with every day things get fuzzier hence the copy of a copy. I said a shadow of a shadow. The referrence makes a different picture, the beat and rhythm are similar.

A shadow of a shadow is a very different element. Have you ever seen a shadow of a shadow?

Your second point refers to Marka Singer's quote to Jack where they are discussing how people listen to you more effectively when they think you are dying. My character is talking about wanting to reach out to someone. He has his phone out, and he is also looking at his Instant Messenger list. Now I ask you if you have ever been depressed?

And if you have further questions please PM me. Rather than spam the forum. Thanks, Fred.
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