10 minute short "10 Till"
 

Here is my ten minute short, 10 Till. Me and my friend did all of it for our graduate level film course (We are juniors). Let me know what you think.


http://www.mainewebhosters.com/10Till256k.wmv

The audio levels are real bad in this copy, trying to fix them (They are fine on the DVD....)

Tried to look but the message that I got was...

Bandwidth Limit Exceeded

The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

Ok got a mirror for it. This link should work for a while

http://madawg.rh.rit.edu/10Till256k.wmv

This mirror should be faster
http://wes.homelinux.com/~rob/10Till256k.wmv

Please let me hear any comments and sugestions. I know the audio is a bit messed up, so i dont need to hear that again, im triyng to fix it.

91 views and no replies :(

Looks pretty good nick, seemed the sound was kinda quiet (at least on my computer) but over all it was pretty good. I liked the documentary style camera work and tints you used. Couple little things when the girl fires the gun, it didn't look right and the sound effect was terrible maybe play with that and get that to look a little better. And where is the squib hit man I wanna see some blood!

I really did like the shot where she takes the ring off the ground that was cool. Anyway good job keep it up.

Nick,

Good job. The feel of the piece is really nice... I like the dark look, the use of color and the overall mood. The cinematography was very nice and supported the mood and story well. I enjoyed watching it.

Since you were looking for feedback, I do have a few constructive critiques:

1. The teaser intro was interesting, but I didn't feel that it paid off later the as much as I expected it to.

2. The credit sequence seemed too long for a 10 minute short. The mood of it was really nice, but it didn't really add to the story in any way, and it maybe could have. The feeling was really nice though.

3. Once the credits were over, the music shifted to a different song. To me, that wasted all that mood the the credits spent building up. I feel that if you keep the same tune going as we see the guys walking in to the club then the mood built up in the credits stays with us and really helps the drama. As it was, there was a mood shift right before the plot got rolling... it didn't help me.

4. The traditional view of film is that you should know what it is about visually without understanding the words... Certainly this didn't have that. It is a valid creative choice, but it hangs a whole lot on the strength of the dialog and acting, and they were not quite enough to carry it for me. The story involved drugs and money and we didn't see either... that would have helped in having a more intuitive feel for what was going on. (This is one of the ways I feel the credit sequence could have aided the plot... showing some of this).

5. I didn't like the music under the bathroom fight seen... it was an interesting choice for the mood - a little bit counter to the high-energy that you'd expect, but it got repetitious for me.

6. The shooting was not terribly realistic in terms of either the woman's physical or emotional reaction to pulling the trigger. That was a sizable gun that has a sizable kick... The sound didn't support it that well either... the gunshot sound could be beefed up, and sometimes it's useful to drop the background music level immediately after the shot... this helps the viewer both in terms of simmulating how everything else seems quiet after such a loud sound as a gunshot, and also with the kind of emotional stillness that follows....

Still, overall a good job. Keep it up.