Critique This! Intro for TV Show at DVinfo.net

Lloyd Ubshura · October 28th, 2010, 11:24 PM

This project is about 95% complete (the ending 30 frames are still incomplete as well as color grading all but the last scene, FYI). Might be a little hard to change some of the bigger scenes, etc., but I'm open to your feedback and criticism. I've got to submit the completed project to the clients on Monday.

I know of a handful of issues that still need to be fixed, but I'm curious if any of you can find them or is it that I've seen each frame a million times too many.

This is for a Christian educational show for kids. This is the title sequence.

I'm braced for your critiques. Some things I'd like direct feed back on if you're willing are:
The pace and feel
The color palette
With only this to gage the show please indicate what interest level you feel this might generate for kids 2- 15 years old.
Interest level you feel this might generate for kids 15-18 years old.
Interest level you feel this might generate for adults (particularly parents).
Production quality
How "fun" or "interesting" is it to watch (shot transitions, etc.)
What message is conveyed in this intro?
With only this intro, what does it appear the show is about?

Let me me have it. Bullet proof vest is on.

Chuck Spaulding · November 1st, 2010, 01:57 PM

I don't know why people don't provide feedback on these forums, I always thought that was the point of them.

There's a lot there and your asking a lot of questions, I'll give it a shot.

My first impression is that this was very well done [also I only watched it once to provide only a first impression]. I thought the pacing was a bit off, it felt long overall but each of the constituent parts were good, so maybe there's a way to tighten it up a bit.

Is this a Disney Channel production or at least a show that has something to do with Disney? If not I'd change the shape of those pancakes...

The overall color was rich, the color grading and graphics looked very good. The bus looked a little soft and if there was a place to cut it shorter it might be there, I'm not sure you needed to go the bus twice.

This appears to be kind of a family oriented Beakman's World, dealing with cooking, science, nature, faith etc.. Unfortunately television tries very hard to be agnostic, so unless this is for a religious based network or distribution you might get some push back. That's a bit outside the feedback you asked for but this obviously has a religious component.

I can certainly see my 9 and 12 year old nephew and niece being interested in this. Until last night, I would have thought it would not have appealed as much to 15-18 year olds, but I was surprised at how many older kids seemed to be genuinely into Halloween. Not much of a market study, just thought I'd bring that up.

I think whether parents would be interested in this is probably more of a regional thing. Parents in Utah and Idaho for example [I'm only talking about the US] tend to be more family oriented, parents in California don't seem to be nearly as engaged with their kids.

The production quality seemed to be very high, whether it would hold my interest depends on how well it is written. Beakman's World was very clever and I think a show that integrates domestic issues with math and science experiments could be very entertaining for the whole family, kind of putting things in context.

I really miss the days when you could purchase a chemistry set and blow things up and make them smell bad, build a rocket with a toilet paper role and launch it to a thousand feet, when you could buy glue to build plastic models and not to get high. I think misinformation and concern for liability has resulted with an entire generation that barely knows how to ride a bike and has little to no common sense. I realize that there are still places in the US where this isn't the case, unfortunately many of the producers come from this environment and shows that promote family values, faith and practical solutions to everyday issues get filtered out.

Good luck.

Tom Dickerson · November 1st, 2010, 02:38 PM

I looked at DV Info's Latest Posts section over the weekend and did not see your request for a critique. I do see, however, that as of my post over 80 people did read your post. I am not sure why you did not receive feedback earlier.

Anyway, I read Chuck's response and agree the bus seems a bit soft. I thought the pace was good, but to me it seemed a little long. Perhaps you can cut a few seconds.

I'm not sure about the pancakes issue...I guess it they do look a bit like Mickey Mouse though. You probably don't want to risk that unless this is for Disney?

Overall - I liked it!

October 28th, 2010, 11:24 PM	#1
Lloyd Ubshura Major Player Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 204	Critique This! Intro for TV Show This project is about 95% complete (the ending 30 frames are still incomplete as well as color grading all but the last scene, FYI). Might be a little hard to change some of the bigger scenes, etc., but I'm open to your feedback and criticism. I've got to submit the completed project to the clients on Monday. Main 1 on Vimeo I know of a handful of issues that still need to be fixed, but I'm curious if any of you can find them or is it that I've seen each frame a million times too many. This is for a Christian educational show for kids. This is the title sequence. I'm braced for your critiques. Some things I'd like direct feed back on if you're willing are: The pace and feel The color palette With only this to gage the show please indicate what interest level you feel this might generate for kids 2- 15 years old. Interest level you feel this might generate for kids 15-18 years old. Interest level you feel this might generate for adults (particularly parents). Production quality How "fun" or "interesting" is it to watch (shot transitions, etc.) What message is conveyed in this intro? With only this intro, what does it appear the show is about? Let me me have it. Bullet proof vest is on.

November 1st, 2010, 01:57 PM	#2
Chuck Spaulding Trustee Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Thousand Oaks Posts: 1,099	I don't know why people don't provide feedback on these forums, I always thought that was the point of them. There's a lot there and your asking a lot of questions, I'll give it a shot. My first impression is that this was very well done [also I only watched it once to provide only a first impression]. I thought the pacing was a bit off, it felt long overall but each of the constituent parts were good, so maybe there's a way to tighten it up a bit. Is this a Disney Channel production or at least a show that has something to do with Disney? If not I'd change the shape of those pancakes... The overall color was rich, the color grading and graphics looked very good. The bus looked a little soft and if there was a place to cut it shorter it might be there, I'm not sure you needed to go the bus twice. This appears to be kind of a family oriented Beakman's World, dealing with cooking, science, nature, faith etc.. Unfortunately television tries very hard to be agnostic, so unless this is for a religious based network or distribution you might get some push back. That's a bit outside the feedback you asked for but this obviously has a religious component. I can certainly see my 9 and 12 year old nephew and niece being interested in this. Until last night, I would have thought it would not have appealed as much to 15-18 year olds, but I was surprised at how many older kids seemed to be genuinely into Halloween. Not much of a market study, just thought I'd bring that up. I think whether parents would be interested in this is probably more of a regional thing. Parents in Utah and Idaho for example [I'm only talking about the US] tend to be more family oriented, parents in California don't seem to be nearly as engaged with their kids. The production quality seemed to be very high, whether it would hold my interest depends on how well it is written. Beakman's World was very clever and I think a show that integrates domestic issues with math and science experiments could be very entertaining for the whole family, kind of putting things in context. I really miss the days when you could purchase a chemistry set and blow things up and make them smell bad, build a rocket with a toilet paper role and launch it to a thousand feet, when you could buy glue to build plastic models and not to get high. I think misinformation and concern for liability has resulted with an entire generation that barely knows how to ride a bike and has little to no common sense. I realize that there are still places in the US where this isn't the case, unfortunately many of the producers come from this environment and shows that promote family values, faith and practical solutions to everyday issues get filtered out. Good luck.

November 1st, 2010, 02:38 PM	#3
Tom Dickerson Regular Crew Join Date: May 2009 Location: Mesa, Arizona Posts: 86	I looked at DV Info's Latest Posts section over the weekend and did not see your request for a critique. I do see, however, that as of my post over 80 people did read your post. I am not sure why you did not receive feedback earlier. Anyway, I read Chuck's response and agree the bus seems a bit soft. I thought the pace was good, but to me it seemed a little long. Perhaps you can cut a few seconds. I'm not sure about the pancakes issue...I guess it they do look a bit like Mickey Mouse though. You probably don't want to risk that unless this is for Disney? Overall - I liked it!