Show Your Work 2006

[Nick Weeks]

Great job! I love the preview, and I especially love the text effect at the end

I honestly don't know what it's about... kinda hard to tell, but it kinda reminds me of the movie "Stay" that came out recently. My audio is terrible here at work, so I missed a lot of the dialog. I'll have to watch it again when I get home.

When do you think this movie will be finished? The trailer is intriguing!

[Justin Tomchuk]

It started out slow but it really picked up and won me over. That was a great trailer, it makes me want to see the feature.

[Andy Graham]

Cools as good a word as any I'll go with that.

Andy.

[Stephen L. Noe]

Uhh.... that was,?

Well, I just don't know what to say.

[Andy Graham]

Yeah its a very slow download speed.

I'm downloading it anyway cause im interested to see it if it is selling........I'll let you know my thoughts in a few days whein its downloaded.

(man I love sarcasm whoever said it's the lowest form of witt just didn't have a sense of humour)

Andy.

[Andy Graham]

hmm...

you started off like you had a plan with your question about what you would get if you crossed saddam hussein with the doctor then you kinda went off in a slant and gave us an evil santa instead which was unexpected.

If you're selling it then good on you!

my suggestion is write a short story like you would do in school but remember you are going to film it so don't put anything in it you don't have or can't get like f16 fighters or car crashes etc etc.

Then find places that look really nice like woodlands or if your in the city things that have good dynamics and are interesting to look at like fountains or landscaped gardens.

If you have a coherent story and some nice places then your on to a good start. Keep at it.

Andy.
BTW how come you have 131 posts but are still regular crew....i've never seen that before?

.

[Jeff Cottrone]

Jeremy,

Nice work. The trailer is effective. Here's my impressions of what the story
might be:

--I really liked the beginning half of the trailer...the soft stuff about the
love story and following a dream. You got a blue collar guy with a musical gift, meets a girl, probably resists the girl b/c he's wounded from the past or something....all good stuff.
--The turn in tone worries me a little. This dude Sam from her past seems to transform the main source of conflict from being emotion based in real life dilemmas to being physically based via the threat of violence, which risks being phony for sake of having conflict in your story. It takes Good Will Hunting and transforms it into "a bad guy is gonna get me" movie. Two totally different genres in my opinion. Not that it can't be pulled off. I just think it's hard and hope you did it. (assuming I'm on the right track here. if not, ignore this.)

So it seems like the story is about being torn about following your dream, which is out of town, or sticking with the girl. I'm sure she has a reason she can't leave. And now he's got Sam trying to kill him. So he needs to resolve this bad dude situation and convince her to leave so they can go be musicians together.

At least, those are my impressions from your trailer.

[Janssen Herr]

Thanks guys,

A new trailer will be up in a few weeks. So I will post details here when that one comes out.

Cheers,

Janssen Herr
www.janssenherr.com

[Dave C. Preston]

I'll give it to you for getting your short film made, and it looks fairly professional, that's a major plus. On the other hand, I have some constructive criticisms, if you'll allow me to be blunt.

1) The joke goes on way too long. You had a good build up as she started to figure out what was going on, and the strangeness kept building up. When she discovered she was involved in some kind of satanic rite or rape, or whatever, the tension should have been cranked up in the music as well as the desperation of the character. The editing already seemed to reflect this, but she remained blasé about her situation.

2) Why would your main character even THINK of severing her OWN arm, when she could have clearly either killed or knocked unconscious either of her captors with all of those readily available tools? Your script and hero character needs to be much smarter or much dumber than that. If the main character is much dumber than the audience, then she should do something really dumb. Like maybe try to stab the guy crushing her arm, miss him, and accidentally stab her own arm... just a suggestion... but I'd rather have seen her attack and dismember the sleeping guy, if you're trying to rip-off the gratuitous gore of "Saw". If the whole point of the movie was to have a character cut their own limb off, you did it, but not in a very funny or believable way. It might help if you imagine yourself in their situation, then what might go wrong... repeatedly?

3) Finally... get the girl in your next movie... with a more refined concept or script. It will practically sell itself. ;)

Good luck!

[K. Forman]

Obviously, you never heard the "coyote ugly" joke. That's where you wake up next to someone soooooo ugly, you would rather chew off your arm, than risk waking them. Long way to the punchline, but pretty inventive.

[Joe Carney]

The song Halycon on and on is my favorite one from Orbital. Things get more focused as the trailer goes on. Just a little tightening up and it would be great.
Nice effort.

[Nick Weeks]

Maybe some good voiceover too...

[Rafael Lopes]

Here you go, guys. I shot this with a 70-200 f4.5. The footage is all very shaky because the fx1+brevis+70-200 is a freaking bazooka. It's extremely hard to pull focus, take care of the shutter, iris, nd filter, etc and hold this heavy artilary. Anyway, I think that the brevis works the best with day light. Too bad the Hd file was too heavy to post. Here is the SD version:

http://rapidshare.de/files/30079926/...t_SD.divx.html

P.S - No color correction. The only thing that was done on post was to rotate the footage.

[Dennis Wood]

I posted over at dvx on this, but getting an f4.5 70-200 to work on the adapter with zoom is pretty cool. This must be a pretty sweet lens.

[Dave C. Preston]

Originally Posted by Keith Forman

Obviously, you never heard the "coyote ugly" joke. That's where you wake up next to someone soooooo ugly, you would rather chew off your arm, than risk waking them. Long way to the punchline, but pretty inventive.

No, I never heard of that joke. Maybe the title of the piece should have been Coyote Ugly (or something else relevant).