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Old October 4th, 2006, 01:39 AM   #1
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New Short Film I Made! Please Watch!

a video my friends acted in when i did the 'director/editor' thing. We had a contest and it was a rush-job. start to finish in 3 days. tell me what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGRfKSf5fAI

very controversial
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Old October 4th, 2006, 02:02 AM   #2
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Nice shooting and nice graphics. I think the distraction for me was the female voice narating what was obviously being told by a male. Created a disconnect for me....
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Old October 4th, 2006, 10:48 AM   #3
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Very good! I like it. But like Chris said, the female voice was confusing.

~Gabriel~
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Old October 4th, 2006, 11:16 AM   #4
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I agree...it definitely needed a male voice narrative.
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Old October 5th, 2006, 07:19 AM   #5
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New Short Film I Made! Please Watch!

Even though the voice is kinda out of place in the beginning, but it really makes the final plot point worthwhile at the end...

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Van Zijl
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Old October 5th, 2006, 09:44 PM   #6
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It's good, i hate to be part of the majority, but I too felt the voice was off, to me it sold from the begining that he was not around to tell his story.. While I understood the end, I think it felt a bit rushed and could have had a bigger punch.. very good work though...
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Old October 6th, 2006, 12:03 AM   #7
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If you have time to change it have the guys voice at the beginning then transition to the girls voice when shes talking.....should give for a better effect i think.....plus if you have time to make that change it shouldnt be too hard becuase its just a voice over.
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Old October 6th, 2006, 12:20 AM   #8
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Female voice worked for me. Just kept up feeling that theres coming turn before the end. I liked that and overall everthing else as well.
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Old October 6th, 2006, 07:06 AM   #9
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Very great

Your camera work and editing I thought were fantastic. Great subject matter and well handled. I did have trouble with the female narrator though. Her voice and reading were well done, but superimposed over a male main character made me "notice" the narration too much. There would have to be a reason for such a choice. Like, I kept expecting her to be reading his diary over his grave in the end or something.

All in all, great.

matt
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Old October 6th, 2006, 10:21 AM   #10
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thanks for all the comments!

Thanks everyone! You guys are really helping me out because I'm the scriptwriter/storyboard as well as director. I wanted the audience to wonder and question why the voice was a girl's. But I guess it creates a complex element. I have to work on organizing scenes and creating an understanding plot. Thanks again everybody!
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Old October 8th, 2006, 06:27 PM   #11
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I thought there was some good editing in there. It looks like you edit on a Mac using FCP Studio. I do as well. I must admit, like everyone else, the female voice had me confused as well.
What was the inspiration for this short, may I ask?
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Old October 8th, 2006, 09:44 PM   #12
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Why the heck is there a female narrating a male POV? I did not bother watching much past the credits. I found that too annoying.
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Old October 8th, 2006, 09:56 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Bray
Why the heck is there a female narrating a male POV? I did not bother watching much past the credits. I found that too annoying.
.... ouch .....
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Old October 8th, 2006, 10:01 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Rapadas
.... ouch .....

Was not trying to be rude. But it created a total disconnect.
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Old October 8th, 2006, 10:18 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Bray
Was not trying to be rude. But it created a total disconnect.
It's nothing :D . We're still all fellow filmmakers and dv enthusiasts here!

Thanks for watching though.
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