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Old December 6th, 2006, 11:34 AM   #1
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Scripted Reality

Hey guys,

Check this out!

http://www.videoquest.ca/scriptedreality/pilot.html

We are going to be re-shooting this pilot in January, with some changes and improvements, but let me know what you think.

Not exactly R rated, but I wouldn't watch this at work with the speakers up!

Any comments, good or bad, will help us when we re-shoot.

Thanks,

-Andy Peterson
Survivorman II Productions

Last edited by Andy Peterson; December 6th, 2006 at 05:13 PM.
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Old December 9th, 2006, 02:14 PM   #2
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Not a single reply?

Somebody has to say something!!

Hehe, check it out it's really funny.

-A
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Old December 14th, 2006, 07:35 PM   #3
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Nice,.....

Nice job,....I thought the writing was great. I can't comment on the production 'cause I'm a straight-up amateur,....but I liked that reality "office-ish" feel to it. It cracked me up when the boss was looking out through the window with the frog.

Some of the opening credits were hard to read,....but probably because of the small smize of the vid.

Great job!!
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Old December 15th, 2006, 06:03 PM   #4
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Andy,

I got through about 10 mins of it before my son came in wanting to know what all the 'bleeping' was about. I'll watch the rest later.

Observations so far...

I really like what you guys have done, but since you're asking for feedback.

Great idea for the opening credits, but they're too tough to read.

The mic boom is obviously in a lot of shots. Though this is deliberate, it's not really far enough in to look deliberate.

The lighting is kind of weak (literally) by that I mean dark hallways, shadows. Ironically, the 2nd Unit forum had an interview with the DOP from the Office. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out.

Audio could use some work as it tended to fluctuate from good to poor.

The writing is pretty good and I like alot of the characters but I found the Zach (receptionist) character to be a little bit over the top. I think ensemble shows that are great (the Office, Seinfeld), get there because the 'whole is greater than the sum of it's parts'.

In the case of the Office, (a personal favorite show), it's the subtle gestures (often more so than the dialogue) of the smaller characters (Toby, Phyllis, Meredith), which convey a lot of the humour. I think you may have lost some of that because some of your shots are wider than they needed to be.

I thought the puppet show scene was funny, though I don't know what it had to do with the show.

All in all I really think it really has potential. You guys have put a lot of effort in and there is some real talent on the set.

I'll post more after I watch the rest.
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Old December 17th, 2006, 09:43 AM   #5
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Thanks Ken,

Some really good feedback.

Our idea is to reshoot this in January, with major upgrades. A lot of the characters have tweaking done, and the production value is going to be stepped up big time.

I appreciate your comments, it will just make our show that much better!

Thanks again,

-Andy
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Old December 17th, 2006, 04:18 PM   #6
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I enjoyed it thoroughly!

I don't know about major changes, I think you have something refreshingly entertaining here and the acting supported it.
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Old December 17th, 2006, 10:34 PM   #7
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Bruce,

I think Andy used the term 'major upgrades' not 'major changes'. I think this would constitute upgrades to lighting and audio. Not changes to the script or concept.

Andy, you've got a great nucleus of talent there. After watching it again I'll just add....

I love that opening song idea
The first time I watched it, I never got to the 'twist'. Great stuff.
Maybe a 'B' cam would get some of those close up expressions that work so well on 'the office'
For whatever reason, I liked the whole thing better the second time around

Can't wait to see it with the upgrades.
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Old December 20th, 2006, 10:46 PM   #8
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Being a huge fan of the Office, I can say you really have something going for you here. I really like the premise - it's a great setting to get really creative with.

All of my suggestions have already been recommended by Ken, who I think was right-on, especially:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Diewert
The mic boom is obviously in a lot of shots. Though this is deliberate, it's not really far enough in to look deliberate.
Quote:
In the case of the Office, (a personal favorite show), it's the subtle gestures (often more so than the dialogue) of the smaller characters (Toby, Phyllis, Meredith), which convey a lot of the humour. I think you may have lost some of that because some of your shots are wider than they needed to be.
Again, a great effort. I'm actually planning with a large group of people to do a 3-part mockumentary in a high-school classroom environment. Some of it will take place outside of the school as well, so it will be more or less a homage to The Office with a twist of Laguna Beach (which I'll admit I dislike, but it's the premise that's being considered).

Peter
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Old December 21st, 2006, 04:52 PM   #9
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Thanks again guys.

If you liked this one, you will LOVE it when we reshoot.

More comments!!!

If you want, check out the ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH cut of the next episode

http://www.videoquest.ca/scriptedrea...fterbirth.html

Thanks,

-Andy
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Old December 21st, 2006, 09:08 PM   #10
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Andy,

That scene with Oliver and the army guy is gold. Gold... Andy... gold.

Loved the bit with Chuck and Lance. Nicely lit.

It's coming together. Well Done. The characters are really taking shape.

You guys have actually got me wanting more... When does season 1 come out on DVD?
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Old January 19th, 2007, 12:11 AM   #11
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Well, there won't be DVDs, but all of the episodes will be available online for free.

Shoot weekend number 1 was a smash success (check out www.videoquest.ca/scriptedreality/gameshow.html for proof)

Next weekend is the final shoot and then the official pilot will be ready to shop around!!!

Can't wait for you all to see. It's going to be great.

Thanks for the support,

-Andy Peterson
Survivorman
Scripted Reality
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