A short piece (FEEDBACK PLEASE)
 

This is a short docu that I made for class. Its the first one I have ever done and I think I am going to continue this one out and make it longer. Since a lot of people and place I want to get footy of could not get in by the time I needed this done.

Thanks for taking a look


https://pantherfile.uwm.edu/dacole/p...ov?uniq=iexae2

I will try to look at it today Darren. Don't let the silence bother you. I missed your post yesterday.

oh thanks I just have beening trying to have some people look at it that I dont know so when I go back to extended it can have some stuff I need to make sure that fix.

Can't get the link to work. Can you try pasting it in again? the url has '...' in it - that might be the trouble

trish

Ditto... the link is broken.

Sorry, I dont know what happened to that link

https://pantherfile.uwm.edu/dacole/p...v?uniq=-yys6m2

Got the link, thanks. Just watching it now.

Some good footage, very natural approach to the interviewing, interesting camera angles and editing and a compelling story. Overall a great start to a larger doc worthy of the effort.

The lighting in the record store is excellent, but the indoor footage on some shots are a bit dark and jars the footage a bit going from scene to scene. I'm wondering if there is a way you can pump those parts up in post to better match the overall look. I'm finding shooting indoors without staged lighting to be a real challenge. A cheap cheat is to replace existing bulbs in the space with 100w and to use foamcore or white bristleboard to bounce light on to the subject. I'm shooting someone indoors tomorrow and about to attempt that method myself.

I was finding some of the audio a bit hollow. Not sure if that can be touched up to match the entire piece or not. Haven't had to sweat that out yet myself - but will be soon.

For the 'focusing from a defocused' stage I'd try and really defocus out first - then bring into focus. Otherwise it looks more like focus correcting and sometimes you can't avoid that but in a few of the instances you could have left it out and not lost your story flow. So I'd watch those. I'm not sure what camera you are using, if the DOF is possible to defocus that severly or not though.

Overall I thought you had some great angles, loved the one under the record store counter. I thought those shots worked best because the store was colorful and the lighting working for you.

I might have grabbed closeups of some of the albums so we could really get a look at them. You started to touch on this in some scenes but filling the frame could take it a step further. Even some pan ups or downs. When I was watching I was interested and wanted to get a closer look. Part of the cool aspect of old LPs is the real estate given to imagery that we don't have anymore with tiny CD covers. The art was often a huge part of the overall effect.

It would certainly require you to stage this but it could easily be inserted into the flow of her dialogue and the viewer would never know you cheated.

You could also use LP closeups throughout the piece to add visual appeal as you did with the random shots of the store racks etc. and the larger sequence right at the beginning which was done very well. The closeups of hands labeling the albums, or playing with the turntable, flipping through the stacks, all worked nicely in the flow.

A longer documentary on the subject would lend itself to inserting old footage if you could get your hands on it. Old shots of people buying the LPs, or groups dancing to the music, etc. Similar to watching an old rock band doc. Frenzied fans, to insert into current people reminiscing about the old days of LPs. Old footage of dj's spinning to contrast the modern day footage of the same. If any of that could be sourced for free, it would be a goldmine for your piece.

I know I went on about how you could tweak and improve quite a bit. It was not intended to mean the original piece wasn't good - because it was. I just see the potential to take the doc a step further and worth putting in the detailed comments.

Trish

Oh no you did not go on to much at all.

Thanks alot for the feedback was very helpful. I think I will try that Bouncing of the light with a white board for the other interviews that I still need to get. I Think I also want to make sure I improve on my camera work some just to help it not be so jolty.

The idea about old footy now that is a good. I will have to hit up some of the royalty free sites or something.

I really do appreicate the feedback I just wanted to make sure besides my class that watched me make and the people I know if everyday people thought it was worth contining. And not just a stupid idea.

Oh yeah the cam I used was the HVR AIU. It is actually my first cam ever I got it so I could learn how to shoot so I would have more to edit that what I want to do outside of school when im done. I think thats its a great cam thought for starting out a lot of setting!!!!

It's always great to see people excited about creating. I'm still learning the ropes. Not sure how much your camera weighs but there are items you can use to get steadier shots, ie monopods or little braces. But it's still good to just keep practicing on getting smoother with your hand. I think alot of the intimate follow scenes of 'Children of Men' were shot with a steady hand by a talented shooter.

If you can get your hands on a book called the DV Rebel's Guide I'd get it - maybe even the library carries it

http://www.kk.org/cooltools/archives/001547.php

I'm reading it now and it's great. It is geared towards action movies on the very cheap but all the advice is excellent and can be used across the board. He does get into After Effects quite a bit, but sooner or later you will probably be using a similar tool to this, if you aren't already.

Trish

I am no expert but I really enjoyed your video doc.