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Taking Care of Business
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Old February 3rd, 2006, 02:39 PM   #451
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Incredible

Looking for reliable and talented DP to shoot and edit two very low budget documentaries for own cable show - 10 minutes and 30 minutes - in NYC. Film students are encouraged to apply. Need someone who owns or has access to video camera (mini DV), audio equipment and can edit footage. Please email with details of your experience, links to your previous work (e.g. video-samples) and type of equipment. Previous experience necessary. A flexible schedule is also necessary as shooting may be done over one day, a few days or even a few weeks. Serious inquiries only.

* Compensation: Credit, Copy of completed doc's, food and transport included



So...let's get this straight.

1. You have to be reliable and talented.
2. You can be a film student, but you have to have experience.
3. Bring your own camera (of course)
4. Bring your own audio equipment (of course)
5. Edit the damn thing too, while you're at it. Geez...why not just give the damn DP credit as the director, while we're at it?
6. You must be constantly available, at the director's whim.
7. And, of course.....serious inquiries only.


So then, I have a question for the thread. With hacks like this guy roaming the industry, it's near impossible to get a steadily paying gig. I just got canned from not one, but two jobs within two weeks, both for the same reason (producer has a friend that they want to bring in). How do we all manage to get by? Because it sure isn't with any help from these clowns.
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Old February 3rd, 2006, 04:00 PM   #452
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Maybe we can take the term "The Suck" from the marine corps and use it for this industry.
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Old February 4th, 2006, 03:48 AM   #453
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"CREW CALL: DP & Sound Mixer Needed for 3 Spot TV Campaign

Los Angeles Director/Editor looking for local DP and/or Camera Operator with own 24p or Hi Def Camera. Also, looking for Sound Mixer with own equipment, including a boom and lav. I am looking to build a relationship with a solid team here in xxxxxx. DP/Cam Op must have broadcast experience with good-looking reel. Sound Mixer must provide examples of sound recorded on location.

This first project will be pro bono, but it should garner a good deal of attention, receive decent to major air play, and open doors for future opportunities. Both DP/Camera Op and Sound Mixer should be proficient in capturing man on the street/on-the-go footage if needed.

Email me your online reel (if available) and I will get back to you with my portfolio and more details."



So what does this translate to?

:)
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Old February 6th, 2006, 11:21 AM   #454
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Pro bono = a pro getting boned. Hahahahahhahahahahahah I kill me. OK, that was terrible.

"Production assistant

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sandy_directions@mindspring.com
Date: 2006-02-06, 11:13AM EST


Need a production assistant for a 4-5 month gig. PBS kids show. Must have drivers license. Professional experience necessary.


this is in or around Long Island

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: $8 per hour"
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Old February 7th, 2006, 08:41 AM   #455
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Production Assistant - New Listing!
Location: Chatsworth, California United States
Date Posted: 02/06/2006
Good Communications Skills Computer Literate No Experience Necessary. med/dental Benefits 12 Per An Hour.

A PA position that not only pays, but has dental and medical benefits? It gets even better, because this is for adult productions... Sad, isn't it?
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Old February 7th, 2006, 02:59 PM   #456
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Pro boner?

sorry.

Anyway, I don't why, exactly, but this just seems like bullshit:

"calling camera crew/videographers/filmakers/lights/boom operators
Reply to: illbeyourplaydate@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-02-07, 3:45PM EST


cross country celebrity services need 2 hire two more good people armed with cameras to make a dvd of a event this thursday feb9th
at bluardesia/redardesia..there will be live music and video interviews
all to plug the new tv show real icon..
those who fill out our applicatio can be hired as crew for several of our upcoming projects! the pay is awesome!!!
242 sunrise hwy rockville cetre new york
for directions call516-594-2977
there will also be a prize for whoever films the artists o stage most glamorously!! goodie bags brought to you by "house of haute coiture"

* this is in or around rockville centre newyork
* yes -- it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 500 to 3,000 for rough draft copy of an hours worth of filming of live event ...thousands daily for new film project

"
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Old February 7th, 2006, 03:31 PM   #457
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So here's what's gonna happen. 47 people show up with 3 chip cameras, a few have Z1 HDV cameras and 2 even show up with Panasonic HVX200. Some unfortunate person gets to take home with 47 tapes all shot in different and conspicuously unmatching modes, that's the prize for most glamourous shooting, and do a rough cut. He takes the camera masters and the rough cut and each of you gets $10.63 each or $63.82 each for the night's work if he loves the rough cut and uses it.

"thousands daily" are the number of camera people who'll show up for his 1286 camera shoot for the music video.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh Bass
Anyway, I don't why, exactly, but this just seems like bullshit:

"calling camera crew/videographers/filmakers/lights/boom operators
Reply to: illbeyourplaydate@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-02-07, 3:45PM EST


cross country celebrity services need 2 hire two more good people armed with cameras to make a dvd of a event this thursday feb9th
at bluardesia/redardesia..there will be live music and video interviews
all to plug the new tv show real icon..
those who fill out our applicatio can be hired as crew for several of our upcoming projects! the pay is awesome!!!
242 sunrise hwy rockville cetre new york
for directions call516-594-2977
there will also be a prize for whoever films the artists o stage most glamorously!! goodie bags brought to you by "house of haute coiture"

* this is in or around rockville centre newyork
* yes -- it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 500 to 3,000 for rough draft copy of an hours worth of filming of live event ...thousands daily for new film project

"
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Old February 7th, 2006, 03:46 PM   #458
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Yeah, something like that. But on the other hand, with those 1286 different angles, the possibilities for editing are endless.

I think we all know by now that any steady gig paying real money isn't gonna post on craigslist. That's what production managers/coordinators/UPMs are for.

Anyway, I know I've said "best one ever" before, but seriously, this really IS the best one ever. Or worst one. You decide:

"Any guys with DV camera can shoot porn for free?
Reply to: gigs-132017239@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-02-07, 4:28PM EST


All of my money is going into paying the girls for the shoot. I need a guy who is free this Friday night to shoot a porn scene on the upper west side. I can't afford to pay you but you will be able to hang with some porn stars and shoot. Must have a DV camera and must be the kind and respectable type. If you can do it this Friday night get back tome with the word "SHOOTER" in your subject line.

Hope to hear from you.

* this is in or around New York, NY
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: none - sorry "

The should start calling it Dregslist. Hahahahhaha! I kill me.
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Old February 7th, 2006, 05:32 PM   #459
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ROFL

I was just about to post this. You beat me to it!
BTW, I have gotten gigs on craigslist for $50-$75/hr.
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Old February 7th, 2006, 05:46 PM   #460
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Yeah, I've pulled at least one good. I take it back. Sometime's there's good stuff. It's 80% unpaid or underpaid crap, though. I think that's a fair assessment.
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Old February 7th, 2006, 11:59 PM   #461
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Okay, I like this one just 'cause there's absolutely no effort to convince you that you should even be there. Not even the porn guy I recently posted put in. None. It's almost like they don't care.

"Grips Helpers Crew
Reply to: jftphoto@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-02-07, 10:19PM EST


Crew Grips Helpers: mature 21 and over clean reliable punctual. to help with carry and look after equiptment and be part of a film.

you will get copy of film and credits.

send picture and info to jftphoto@yahoo.com

* yes -- it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Credits & Demo "
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Old February 8th, 2006, 10:26 AM   #462
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This one's pretty funny

This is, by no means, a terrible job offer. It's actually a pretty sweet one. But check out that last line on "Compensation" for a good laugh.




Non-union, national spot in need of 2 good set PA's on February 13 & 14, 2006.

Please have a phone, a car and a good attitude.

This is not a bitch gig, we don't pay people this kind of money to get coffee. Nor is it intense manual labor.

You must be early, the director/producer is serious about starting on time.

Please respond ASAP with a brief cover letter and a solid resume.

Office work an option for the right person after shoot (Freelance at $150/day).



* this is in or around Hollywood
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $200/day + meals + "amazing industry contacts" (you jokers, pay your PA's)
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Old February 8th, 2006, 06:01 PM   #463
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This is hilarious...

We are looking for a very proficient Editor (Avid) who can also operate a DVX-100 camera. You will also have the opportunity to Produce and Direct. Creativity and knowledge of AVID Xpres DV is more important than editing speed. Sound correction and After Effects experience would be great too. We're going to begin shooting in High Def. soon using the new Panasonic HVX200, so you'll learn that as well. Our show begins airing nationally in 10 million homes in July. After 90 days a significant raise is very possible. You will be the first hire for our first national season, so you truly are on the ground floor. Moving "up the ladder" will be easy for the right person--- because we don't really have a ladder yet. We own all of our own equipment (except a ladder of course) and even a nice studio with green screens. The Executive Producer can be tough to work for at times, so if you have a thin skin please don't apply. He is also extremely sharp and talented, so you might learn a th ing or one hundred. We know the starting salary isn't huge, so we don't need any whiney-bitchy little e-mails telling us that. Occasionally, our dogs stop by the studio to visit, so if you are an animal hater or have some silly aversion, again, donít apply. We shoot a lot of Vegas nightlife, so if you have a significant other with some jealously problems it's best to put him/her/it in check before applying. We'll need you fairly soon.

Tell us about your experience and education. Thanks.



Job location is Vegas
Compensation: $1850 per month to start




-----Are there enough stipulations there for $462 a week?
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Old February 9th, 2006, 02:42 PM   #464
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I'm scared:

"French Maid TV seeks Production Crew w/ Oil Well Experience
Reply to: gigs-132489723@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-02-09, 8:54AM CST


French Maid TV is looking for a video production crew that has Oil Well experience.

Please reply with resume or credits, a link to some of your work and your rate.

* this is in or around Houston
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Your Rate. "
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Old February 10th, 2006, 08:08 PM   #465
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How many mispellings do you count?

I'm surprised these guys spelled "DVD" right

Local Production Company looking for talented Skiers and Snowboarders needed for film. In exchange for preforming on camera. A sponcer DVD can be made for each rider that pertiscaptes.

Contact:
206 276 8694
brianwgavin@yahoo.com


Job location is Moutains

Compensation: Transportation and Profecinally Edited Sponcer DVD
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