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July 10th, 2009, 04:30 PM
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#16 |
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Major Player
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Los Angeles, california
Posts: 228
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How many directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
101 - One to do the job and 100 others to say they could have done it better. How can you tell the Teamster's children at a playground? They're the ones watching all the other kids have fun. What do you call an out of work director? A writer. What do you call an out of work actor? A producer. What do you call an actor whose girlfriend just broke up with him? Homeless. |
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February 20th, 2012, 02:12 PM
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#17 |
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Regular Crew
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Ogden
Posts: 161
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Re: Crew Jokes
What does a DP's wife do after having sex...
pick him up from the airport! |
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February 20th, 2012, 04:35 PM
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#18 |
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Inner Circle
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 2,569
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Re: Crew Jokes
Director to soundie: What are you going to do about that traffic noise 10 floors below.
Soundie: Well, I'm going to hang a mic out the window and fade it out. (True story)
__________________
30+ years with our own audio and visual production company and studios. |
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February 29th, 2012, 05:50 AM
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#19 |
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Major Player
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Motukarara, New Zealand
Posts: 475
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Re: Crew Jokes
How many control room directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two... standby one... now one... get ready two and.... THREE!!! THREE!!! |
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March 2nd, 2012, 08:19 AM
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#20 |
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Major Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 579
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Re: Crew Jokes
Q: How tall is the audio tech?
A: Dunno. No one has ever seen him standing up. |
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April 22nd, 2012, 02:27 AM
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#21 |
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Inner Circle
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 2,569
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Re: Crew Jokes
One time the 6 member cast assembled in the control room and were handed their scripts. After a quick look though,
I told them .. 'Ok into the studio and let's get under way' This very attractive actress with the silky voice says to me .. 'we can't start yet Ann's not here' We all looked at her somewhat stunned, Ann. was the Announcer. Lovely girl but thick. True story. Cheers.
__________________
30+ years with our own audio and visual production company and studios. |
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April 4th, 2015, 06:51 PM
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#22 |
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Outer Circle
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Hope, BC
Posts: 7,528
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Re: Crew Jokes
How much am I getting paid again?
What do you call 2 left turns and ending home? Baseball. |
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April 10th, 2015, 09:31 AM
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#23 |
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Major Player
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Philly, PA
Posts: 868
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Re: Crew Jokes
Technical Director: Quick, somebody call me an engineer!
Crew: Ok, You're an engineer! A sound guy I know told me he felt the least experienced person on an indie film set is usually the director. Three Stooges - Hey look, we got a telegram. Oh yeah, what's it say? Do dot, dash dot Gimmie that, you imbecile. |
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April 17th, 2015, 07:24 AM
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#24 |
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Inner Circle
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 2,394
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Re: Crew Jokes
Q: Why was the editor wearing roller skates at his desk?
A: He was performing a rolling edit. |
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March 14th, 2016, 06:04 AM
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#25 |
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Inner Circle
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 2,394
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Re: Crew Jokes
Not quite a crew joke, but ...
Q: What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray? A: HDMI? Andrew |
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