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Old September 1st, 2008, 07:51 AM   #1
Inner Circle
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Uwol X Silence


My original concept was a psa was about the exposing and enabling of the deaf; so they can learn the value of the natural world and therefore become contributing stewards to all the great and small things.
As hard as it is to believe, many of the youngsters and some older people know nothing of these things. For many, much of their lives they have been in isolation.

My primary contact was keen about the idea. However in the end for a few reasons I ended up having to make it more generic. I would have been much happier if I could have held to my original concept more tightly.

It was a great experience, I learned a bunch of small things.
Dale W. Guthormsen
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Old September 2nd, 2008, 01:38 AM   #2
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Hi Dale
Your video skills improve with every round...who says you cant teach an old dog new tricks..(I mean that in the nicest possible way)..I know I have said this for just about every one of the videos...what a wonderfull great organisation.being a father kids are very close to my heart,and watching those kids having fun in the opening shots tugs at the old heart strings
nice work Dale
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Old September 2nd, 2008, 07:19 AM   #3
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I really like your PSA Dale - some really beautiful footage to compliment a very worthy charity.

Just one thought - I think your text would be easier to follow if you restricted the capital letters to the beginning of the sentences only. At the moment itís not easy to see where one thought ends and the next begins because all the words start with a capital letter.

Glad you finally managed to get your entry in!
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Old September 2nd, 2008, 11:58 AM   #4
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Coupla things --

The shot where you have the title "Kedleston Family Deaf Camp" with the man signing directly to the camera is so well framed and fits so well with the titling, that I would fade out on that shot, the sailing shot that follows it feels tacked on, by comparison.

I'd draw out the bit where you leave the world silent, while showing the activities, the soundtrack kicks up a bit too quickly and strips out some of the effectiveness of showing a silent world. I'd leave off the titles "Full of Life with Endless possibilities" because it kind of adds sound without sound, if you get what I mean -- or push those off till slightly later, I think the impact of the world without sound is most effective without either sound or titles, because both put noise in our heads.

Overall, though, a great effort for a great cause! I love to see kids enjoying the outdoors.
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Old September 3rd, 2008, 06:17 PM   #5
Inner Circle
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Location: Saskatchewan
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Good evening,

thanks for taking the time to view my contribution!!

Meryem, I really appreciate your comments and I will rework it considering that information. I have no one to get feed back of that quality around here, so it is great to get it from people with so much experience in these areas!!!

thanks again
Dale W. Guthormsen
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Old September 4th, 2008, 01:35 AM   #6
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Larsnes, Norway
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Hi Dale and well done on delivering video to uwolx.

Maybe I'm touched by this one because I have several family members that are deaf.
Even a politician, but he choose not to listen (jokes on me, hope you don't mind).

Very nice colours and the music fit the clips very well.
Kids having fun outdoor is great and will appeal to all ages I think.
To take away the sound in the middle is not unexpected in this PSA, but a good trick if you ask me. It shows how it is without sound/noice. Makes the viewer think.
Loved the catamaran scene very much.
I would have ended this PSA with the man talking and the text at the right of him, eh?

All the best my friend.
Geir Inge
Geir Inge B. Brekke
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Old September 6th, 2008, 05:59 AM   #7
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Hi Dale,

You did very well with your PSA.
The text during the silent part kinda takes away the total silence these people live in.
And a little more slow fade in of the music after that?

Well done!!
Thanks for sharing.
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Old September 6th, 2008, 09:24 AM   #8
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Hey Dale,

I appreciate the fact that you are advocating for individuals with hearing impairments. I thought you had crisp clean images. Are you using an HD camera? It sure looks like it from my non HD computer screen.

I liked your approach in this film,

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Old September 11th, 2008, 11:23 AM   #9
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Hi Dale,
Great topic! I really liked the opening scene w/ the kids and the band. I can't imagine a better way to convey difference between worlds of those who can hear and those who can't. Shots of those hiking-out (is that the right term?) on the catamaran were very cool (and impressively stable!) and a good way of showing how the camp is empowering.

The main issue I had was with the text. I agree with Marj that it having capital letters for each word made it tough tell when ideas started and ended. Also, the orientation seemed to change from centered, to right aligned, and from the bottom to the top of the screen. By the end I was a bit distracted with trying to follow the text. If I understand correctly, you were trying to keep the text out of the way of the image? In my opinion, it would have been better to keep the text in one place, at the risk of compromising the image. Perhaps it would also have been possible to cut down on some of the text.

Thanks again for sharing! I'd thought I'd evolved to prefer wildlife over people, but I must say, it's fun watching a UWOL video with human beings in it! That said, I agree with you that your initial idea would have also made for a great video as well.

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Old September 12th, 2008, 05:58 AM   #10
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kent UK
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Hey Dale

Nice piece for a very worth while organisation. Your premise on this one is strong. Cutting the world into silence. I also think many of your shots are solid and as Meryem mentioned your opener is a real corker! I just feel you could really push this a lot further. Use it in a way that the viewer wants to hear whats going on. Imagine you were watching your favorite program on TV and just a the crucial time the sound went off!.....that will really make the viewer think about what they are looking at and take them into the world of the kids. Then go into the activities, life, action and your closing info!

I really think with some clever cutting this could be a cracker!
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