September - Martijn Damen - UWOL 31

[Martijn Damen]

My Film:

September on Vimeo

This is my first film ever. I learned a lot, had fun and was finally able to record some good video.

About 2 years ago I attached a sony rx100 to a fieldscope and started filming. I wanted to magnify the natural world around me, and I did.
The pleasure of going outdoor and the game of trying to catch nature and wildlife in a way that is beyond what the human eye normally gets to see got me hooked.
A new camera, real lenses and a capable pc was the second step.

My new setup consists of a Panasonic Lumix GH4, Canon 150-600 L , Carl Zeiss 35-135 sonnar *T and
a Manfrotto #028 tripod with a #136 head.
My computer is a 4/5 year old HP Z800, 16GB, dual XEON x5670 2,93 ghz.

This contest was great for me to make a leap into getting to know my new equipment and to get to making an actual edit/film.

Since I am still a noob I hope you can send me some useful feedback on my first project so I can do better next time.
And don't hold back, I like honest people :)

Martijn Damen

[Marj Atkins]

First of all welcome Martijn! It is really good to have you join our group this time round.

I thoroughly enjoyed your entry. Of all the films submitted this challenge, your visuals are way the best - beautiful shots, varied camera angles and moves and some interesting subjects too! You certainly allowed colour to do the talking!

The only negative thing I can comment on is I personally found it a little long for a film without a narration – but this is coming from someone who always has information overload! (I am really nit-picking!)

Well done on an excellent entry and particularly as it is your first film – please don’t stop making films!

Marj

[Martijn Damen]

Ty Marj,

I like nit-picking :D
I didn't even think of narrating when I made my "film" .. but seeing the other videos I realize it's part of the job.

Thanks a lot for your comment.

[Gordon Hoffman]

Martijn - Yes welcome to UWOL and congrats on your first film. I don't have much to add that Marj didn't cover. I sometimes like these with just music but they like to really challenge a person here. I wish I could write like some here can.

Gordon

[Mick Jenner]

Hi Martijn, welcome to the challenge.

Beautifully filmed and graded, really lived up to the theme of this challenge. Story type narration would have added an extra dimension, but, you have to ensure it does not distract from the visuals.

Really enjoyed watching

mick

[Paul Wood]

Hi Martijn,

Let me add my welcome!

A very well executed piece of work - as has already been said, the colors fit very week with the theme, and there are some very nice shots - if I have to nit pick, it would be the over use of the ¨Ken Burns¨effect in some of the shots - e.g at 00.30 - we zoom in, quite a lot, but to focus our attention on what? Perhaps in this type of general shot, a movement of around 10-15% is enough to create the feeling of movement.
A good example is the frog at 01.25 where the move adds interest to the shot.

I hope to see you in future challenges - keep up the good work!

[Martijn Damen]

Thanx Gordon, Mick and Paul.

I did'n know the "Kenn Burns" effect, but now I do. Thank for mentioning that Paul.
I have gone a bit wild with this indeed, only wishing I had a real slider :)
I'm going to pay more attention to that in my next edit.

[Kevin Railsback]

Martin,

First of all, a big welcome to the UWOL family! Hope you find this a place to grow and make new friendships along the way!

I want to give you a Mat Thompson critique. Mat in case you didn't know was a fixture here and one of the charter members. He went on to win a Panda award at Wildscreen and now travels the globe filming professionally.

He craved brutal critiques because they helped him hone his craft and he gave some powerful critiques in return.

You're film was truly stunning! The raw beauty of what you filmed just blew me away. The points below are not meant to discourage or anything of that nature. Use them if you want or totally dismiss them. It's just an opinion and the important thing is to stay true to who you are and what is your passion.

You're opening shot sold me from the first frame! Loved it!!

:20 I thought the pan was a bit too fast. Slower paced would have matched the music more and not seemed so rushed.

:58 the leaves falling was sudden and unexpected. Maybe slowing that shot down to make the leaves fallling seem more gracefully then BAM, there they are.

1:11 Awesome, awesome rotation on these shots. Did you use a turnstile? Top notch shooting there!

1:29 The bee to me looked like it needed a bit more space in front of it and seemed like it was crowding the edge of the frame.

1:52 The falling leaves and reflection were beautiful. The shoreline was on a diagonal so splitting the point where the ground and water meet looked a little off with it in the center. If the shoreline was perpendicular to the camera splitting it right down the middle would have been perfect. How would it have looked it you have more preference to the reflection or the trees?

2:14 again I thought the bird and the deer were too centered. Tilting down a little more for the deer would have not cut off his feet and not had as much head room.

I loved that you had no narration. Most of my stuff in the past had none at all.
I think what some of the others may be getting hung up on is that the music was kind of repetitious. So hearing the same notes over and over again made it seem longer than it really was.

Music controls the mood or feel of the film. I am trying to find more music that has different levels because some of the music I've used in the past is too monotonous as well and viewer attention seems to get shorter every year! :)


-Kevin
Again, your film was incredibly beautiful! I hope we see you in the next challenge!!!

[Trond Saetre]

Martijn, a big welcome to the uwol gang.
If this is your first film, I can't wait to see what you come up with next time.
I am impressed!

Pay attention to the feedback you already have received here. Kevin's detailed "list" can take your film to the next level, and that is the true spirit of UWOL: To improve our own skills, have fun and if that wasn't enough, to meet and get new friends as well.

Stay with us and I hope to see more of your future films.

[Martijn Damen]

Kevin, thanks a lot for your detailed comment. I really appreciate it!
The rotation was filmed on a tripod, the camera looking up and simply turning it manually.

Trond, tyvm. This forum and the UWOL challenge helped me a lot already, going from my crappy digiscopeing setup to a "real" setup, and going from just making shots and short edits to the first steps in making an actual short film.

[Bill Thesken]

Martijn, great footage. Tough to catch the bees. I was going to say an epic shot at 1:55 or so with the river and the leaf gently landing on the still water, and then the shot of the deer looking at you was somehow more inclusive of nature. Nice film. I will watch again. See you next round.

[Martijn Damen]

Kevin, thanks a lot for your detailed comment. I really appreciate it!
The rotation was filmed on a tripod, the camera looking up and simply turning it manually.

Trond, tyvm. This forum and the UWOL challenge helped me a lot already, going from my crappy digiscopeing setup to a "real" setup, and going from just making shots and short edits to the first steps in making an actual short film.

[Geir Inge]

First I must say welcome to the Uwol family, Martijn! It's really nice that you have joined our group.

I liked your video very well. You have good visual images forming a great video.
The colors are nice and I especially like how you let the pictures speak for themselves, with well-tailored music.
Not always necessary to include VO, it is a sight for the eye as it is.
Some images are uniquely beautiful and I mention especially the mushrooms, frog, bird in tree and deer.
Should I get some advice, it must be on the sound and length issues.
I would put on some foley, to create a better sound, along with the nice piano music you have picked.
The sound of a stream, a little bird song or sound that one associates with forests, as an example.
I will then take away a few clips at the beginning and at the end of the video.
Pan at 0:23, all the clips from the sheep that 2.39 to the sunset start at 3:09, but this is just my personal opinion.

Excellent entry and a video in the top class, I hope you'll join next time too and thanks for sharing.

[Martijn Damen]

Geir,

Thank you very much for your comments and compliments!

[Martijn Damen]

To All:

I appreciate your warm welcome a whole lot, it gives me an extra boost to go ahead and record the things that I enjoy to see, and make me wonder about "life".

Your comments are very detailed and very helpful .. I appreciate that even more maybe!

Thanks bunch!