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-   -   UWOL #37 - Natures Impact (https://www.dvinfo.net/forum/uwol-challenge/531303-uwol-37-natures-impact.html)

LeRoy Gunderson March 2nd, 2016 10:23 AM

UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
This one was quite a challenge. To get some footage my wife and I took a couple of road trips and finally was able to come up with something. Several of the clips are from my backyard. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks for watching.



Mick Jenner March 2nd, 2016 01:26 PM

Re: UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
Hi LeRoy,

What a lovely entry. The music was well suited to your relaxed narration and the whole filmed moved along at that nice gentle pace. Your question as to why nature has such an impact is well illustrated with your choice of subjects

You need to arrange your clips or alter the narration to reflect what is being seen on screen and what is being said. For example you are talking about water when we are looking at a picture of a squirrel on a garden fence 01.19-01.02. I understand that some times on these challenges time runs out before we get the perfect clip and we have to use what we have recorded during that time, unfortunately your Kisadee clip is out of focus and there is a big camera jump at the end of white egret clip so do be careful when selecting clips for the edit. Please take care when using bird sound tracks and close up pics of birds as you end up with a bird singing without it opening its bill 00.51-01.02.

This is nevertheless a lovely entry to watch

Mick

Catherine Russell March 2nd, 2016 02:09 PM

Re: UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
Hi LeRoy:

I'm not certain if we have met. I'm Cat and it's great to meet you and see your work. I enjoyed this little piece. Your choice of music brought up a feeling of nostalgia which I'm not certain you intended it that way, but it worked for me! I also enjoyed the contrast of bright bird colors against a royal blue sky, it's very striking. You also have a strong and enjoyable narration voice that rounds out the visuals.

How you address the theme by asking why you are so drawn to the out of doors is something we can all, in UWOL, identify with being outdoor filmmakers -- so your audience is on board from the get go and no convincing or presenting your case is required. :)

Mick addressed the key points on how to clean it up a bit, and the point that the narration really does need to fit with the visual is key. You had some great shots of water in the beginning and exchanging those with the squirrel could easily conform your voiceover with your footage.

It also struck me that in the end you decide that you really didn't need to ask "why" concerning the immense draw to nature that you have which briefly threw me because the point of the piece is to share the why in it!

Overall, nice and enjoyable and I look forward to watching what you come up with next time!

Cheers,

Cat

LeRoy Gunderson March 2nd, 2016 03:34 PM

Re: UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
Thanks Mick and Cat for taking the time to watch and comment on my video. All of your suggestions were valid points that I will look for in the next one.

Marj Atkins March 3rd, 2016 04:05 AM

Re: UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
Hi Leroy

I was drawn into your story by the personal way you described the things that impact you. I can sense the warmth and passion you have for nature and almost feel that it would be a sacrilege to comment on this film for that reason; but you have asked for constructive critique so I will give some of my impressions for all they are worth.

I wrote this before reading what others have said so there may be a bit of repetition here for which I apologize.

I can certainly identify with your sentiments about the impact that the natural world has on us - you describe how the beauty and sounds of nature draw us in - but I do find it puzzling that you almost dismiss ‘the way nature has always had an impact’ on you as irrelevant by giving a warning not to question this impact (on you?) but just to embrace and enjoy it - as if you are admonishing yourself for having asked the question in the first place. To me the story turns and takes on a different tone from 1:30.

I think your concept/question is good and I believe you could have a pretty powerful piece if you added some shots showing those amazing sights that are ... ‘beautiful, tug at the heart, fill you with joy and touch your soul’... sights that make you....’smile, laugh and cry’. and in so doing, literally get us to embrace and enjoy them too. (Having said that I will quickly add that I know all too well what lack of time and opportunity and subject matter does to one’s plans – so I write this with reservations.)
I would like to encourage you to find some of your favourite shots from stock footage to fill in these gaps – it would definitely be worth working on!

Just one other suggestion - perhaps you could rearrange some of your current shots differently to fit with your narration. You talk about the sounds of water but you have a shot (and a lovely one at that) of a squirrel on the screen. I would use your opening shots instead of the squirrel at that point in the story.

Your narration is good - as usual - very easy to listen to.

I like your title effect - perhaps could be a bit smaller and have your name included.

Hope this helps Leroy.

Paul Wood March 3rd, 2016 06:44 AM

Re: UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
Hi LeRoy,

I just edited my comments a little bit, as I see others have commented on some technical aspects.

I very much enjoyed the story, and overall pacing, VO and music it made for a very nice film to watch - I'm not sure how much of the technical side we as a group are guilty of emphasising, that many people won't notice, but I guess thats how we help each other.

One comment I will make that helps me a lot, is to sleep on your final edit, as you will often find things you missed after finishing - although in this round I am completely guilty of ignoring my own advice!

Well done for a good all round story!

Trond Saetre March 5th, 2016 02:55 AM

Re: UWOL #37 - Natures Impact
 
Hi LeRoy,

I really enjoyed watching your film. Nature really has an impact on us.
Your narration is very good, and easy to understand.

You got some great advices on the technical aspects already, so I won't comment on that.

Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to see your future films!


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