The silencing of a noisy child ... without uttering a word
 

I normally avoid weddings at all costs, but a friend was in need so I easily found myself helping.

There I was, shooting the speeches at the reception and (long story, wireless lav mic playing up) the Rode NT2 boom mic mounted on the camera was what was being used for picking up the sound of the speakers (and/or the PA sound as well).

Something that soon became apparent when monitoring through the headphones was that a 3 or 4 year old child just a metre or two away was making some noises ... in the sort of high-pitched cut-through-everything-else way that only young child can do. I knew that this had to be stopped. Quickly. But how to do it without making a commotion?

I eyeballed the kid and put my finger to my lips, as if to say "sssh". And she complied!

I was so surprised. I hadn't actually expected her to totally stop, but she did. Of course, she had that petulant spoilt-brat "I can't believe you did that to me" look on her face for the rest of the speeches. But it was worth it.

Hope this helps.

Andrew

Nice move!

Why on God's green earth do parents think that a squealing child makes for acceptable behavior at an 'adult' event like a wedding? If I did that when I was a child, you can bet I would be removed from the premises post-haste. I'm glad to read that it's not only an American entitlement issue (although dismayed at the same time).

In all honesty, I think the parents were understandably oblivious to it. They would have been concentrating on the speeches just as everyone else would.

The child wasn't quite 'that' loud. It's just that she was a lot closer to the boom mic and hence it was a lot easier to pick up her minor noises than the target noise.

There I was having thoughts of the bride and groom watching their DVD in the mear future and thinking silent throughts about the nature of children.

Andrew

That was brilliant!
The first thought that ran through my mind was Four inches of Gaffer Tape....

Ben

I can see it now ... "a sudden unexplained surge in demand for skin tone coloured gaffer tape. Industry figures are still puzzled and confused as to why."

Andrew

I gave my wife an antenna for Christmas. She keeps it with her, and if someone blocks her shot, or a child is causing a scene, she quietly extends the antenna and whacks them from a distance, drawing it back to her side before they can figure out what happened. Actually, she hasn't used it yet, but has come really close!

Blow darts and sleeping potion.

Actually this can come in handy when watching a movie in a theater when someone is being loud and chatty. Of course you have to learn to aim, so maybe not a tool best used by everyone. ;)

You''ve got to have god coordination and a good poker face. We had originally thought about a taser, but the antenna is far less messy.

At least when indoors on synthetic carpet in winter, the antenna method leaves room for creativity with static electricity.

The ear lobe is an easy target, by the way. Just saying.

Andrew

Oooh! It might work! an arc of electricity would give us even more range!! I think we'd need gloves though.

Just insulated shoes... the dielectric of air is about 10,000v per centimetre.... Gives a bloody nice zap!

Ben

Just need an assistant that knows the Vulcan mind trick. Problem is, the unconscious people all over the floor may ruin the shot.

Spring loaded telescoping stun gun would do nicely. Quickly extends, zaps, the just as quickly closes.

I think the key to getting away with this is to look as innocent and surprised as everyone else does, perfectly cued to the resounding thud on the floor.

[Bonus points if it makes it on to the 'behind the scenes' part of the DVD.]

Andrew

This is the best child control speech I heard from an emcee.

" Parents please make sure your kids do not RUN around during the program". In a stern voice she ended it with " If you don't take care of your kids..... I WILL".

I shot a recent wedding where both groom and bride turn away from each other during the prayer and stare down the parent of a crying baby. Yep, it's in both of my camera's can't get rid of it.

I actually address this issue in my information provided to the couple, "Drop to Design can not be responsible for crying children being heard on the video........"

I just don't get it.