private wedding forum

[Paul Mailath]

What ever happened to the idea of having a members only wedding forum? 5 minutes after you've posted here it comes up on a google search and I'm not comfortable with that - there are things I'd like to say...

I think it would be very popular and provide a forum for the 'full timers' and still leave a public forum for everyone.

what say you?

[Chris Medico]

You don't need a "private" forum but instead a forum that can't be read unless you are logged in. That is a configuration thing the admins can do.

Might be best to send Chris Hurd a PM regarding your concerns.

[Joel Peregrine]

Hi Paul,

Originally Posted by Paul Mailath

What ever happened to the idea of having a members only wedding forum? 5 minutes after you've posted here it comes up on a google search and I'm not comfortable with that - there are things I'd like to say...
I think it would be very popular and provide a forum for the 'full timers' and still leave a public forum for everyone.
what say you?

Not interested. I like the professionalism and civility of a public forum. Offering a private option would draw traffic away from that.

[Kelly Langerak]

I disagree with Joel.

Does your company have meetings for the whole public to chime in?

Too many times I read some of the post on here that beat around the bush. Nobody can truly be honest.

I wish there was a bit more privacy.

[Monday Isa]

I agree with Joel. When posted videos use to be in the main forum of the Wedding forum I'd always check out a few and comment. Now that the videos are put in the sub-forum gallery I rarely check them out. If there was a private forum of the wedding forum there would be less activity in the main forum. Happened on another forum I know. There is a desire to talk about more sensitive issues in the wedding market, especially frustrating clients. I'm not sure how beneficial that would be to the wedding market to talk about those things on a forum though. It maybe then again it may not. I do like the way the forum is now minus the sub-forum gallery.

[Chris Hurd]

Originally Posted by Paul Mailath

What ever happened to the idea of having a members only wedding forum? 5 minutes after you've posted here it comes up on a google search and I'm not comfortable with that - there are things I'd like to say...

Done (finally). If you're a registered member here, you can see and access the new private WE/V forum. It appears at the top of the WE/V forum index page, below the Sample Clips Gallery.

Originally Posted by Monday Isa

If there was a private forum of the wedding forum there would be less activity in the main forum.

I'm good with that. The sensitive topics of the private forum should amount to less than 5% of the overall traffic in the public forum.

[Philip Howells]

I see that the owner has already decided what sensitive means by moving some old threads into his new section. As the originator of one I protest. I saw nothing sensitive in the original post and still don't.

More to the point, what's the value of a section devoted to the whims and idiosyncrasies of a few people who are so ashamed of what they've written they aren't prepared to have their name published openly? What are they ashamed of? If you want to say something that might damage your business, don't write it at all. If you're going to libel someone don't imagine a secret section will protect you.

I can already hear people telling me that I don't have to use that section if I don't want to but one of the great virtues of this forum is that it demands people use their real names. This secret, hidden section, which doesn't even become visible until you sign in, is a step away from that transparency.

Is there any other section on this forum that has members not prepared to be publicly accountable for their own views, opinions and statements? If they want to write something disparaging about weddings and events perhaps it is better for the reputation of the business is it wasn't written anyway.

If the owner wants to do something really useful it would be to rigidly enforce by removing, not moving, postings irrelevant to the topic, Wedding and Event TECHNIQUES.

Anyone wanting a recommendation for a microphone, camera or tripod should go to those sections not waste the time of people who want to discuss techniques by posting here. A tripod's a tripod, wherever you use it. Only if it relates to how you squeeze a tripod into a church pew or between reception tables is it relevant here.

[Paul Mailath]

Hi Phil,

I guess I was the one who resurrected the idea but I do remember it being discussed before - not that I'm passing the buck - I like the private forum.

the eye of google sees everything, it's absurdly easy to 'google' someone and find out a huge amount about them - I'm not comfortable with that.

I'm not looking for a place to slag people off or have a bitch session (well maybe) - I've got questions and maybe a few answers that arn't for public consumption.

Any registered member can access the sub forum - you have to use you real name there as well. It's not the members I'm worried about - it's the casual reader who's not a member.

I'll happily elucidate on this in the private area :-)

Cheers

Paul

[Philip Howells]

Paul I know you added a smiley but that unless that infers "I don't mean what I've just written", I suggest you be man enough to explain yourself here. You don't have to give examples, just explain what subjects are so sensitive that you aren't prepared to share your views on them with your potential clients.

If it's simply that you don't want people to find out the "huge amount" about you I suggest you don't post to any forums, close your website and come off Facebook.

[Chris Harding]

Hi Philip

I guess that the idea of the forum privacy is that some topics might be seen by potential brides and they could be put off the poster or wedding videographers in general.

We can tell our tales of woe to each other but discussion on material that may offend a bride might warrant a private forum...sorta stuff that only wedding videographers talk about and don't want brides to find out about????

Just my thoughts on why a private forum might be necessary

Chris

[Philip Howells]

Chris, surely this is easy; if brides will be put off us by what we say then don't say it.

If brides will be put off buying a video by what we say then don't say it.

Tales of woe might even help a bride understand why she would be ill-advised to do/say certain things.

I find it laughable that Paul wants a secret section here but is quite prepared to have a website and - of all things - a Facebook page.

I'd be more sympathetic if someone would give me some idea of what topics (concerning Wedding and event video techniques) we wouldn't want our clients to read about. I particularly dislike the fact that the mods can decide whether a thread is to be a secret or not.

It sounds to me like people want a licence to libel - and although I'm no lawyer, my gut feeling is a secret section won't help them if they do libel someone.

In summary, I think this is ill-conceived and fraught with potential problems.

[George Kilroy]

For what it's worth.
I stumbled across this forum, as I'm sure many others have, when googleing for an answer to a technical problem. I was struck by the wealth of experience and generosity of the contributors, and being a 'real names' forum felt that the answers and comments had a large degree of authenticity and trustworthiness, something not always the case with some other 'made-up-names' forums where all sorts of non-attributable, often nonsensical, solutions are proffered.
After lurking around for a while I felt confident to become a participant rather than a passive viewer, I've now been a contributing member for over a year. I have a feeling that if some of the 'professional discussion' had been behind closed doors to me (until I signed up) I may not have bothered joining as I feel it would just be one other forum. I know there is a much greater depth in the other areas of DVinfo but for some reason the Wedding/Events forum is the one I always visit first and where I find the most useful information and most lively discussions.

During my time here I have made some gaffs, which I've asked to be removed, jumped to instant reaction and posted opinions I've subsequently regretted or modified and been drawn into hot debates I'd have been wise not to enter. But I've certainly drawn some invaluable information and I hope made some useful contribution. I've both sent and received personal apologise where discussions points have become aimed too personally, this I think is a strength of using real traceable names as you feel some responsibility if your words hurt or insult a person who's name you know, even, or especially, when it is unintentional.

In this cyberworld (do people still use that term) we are loosing our shield of personal protection which can only be a good thing if it restrains the amount of misinformation and dare I say it bull excrement that flies around the internet. Hiding behind closed doors will only encourage more exaggerated claims, and unprofessional comment. I too believe if you don't want your thoughts and comments held up to scrutiny then keep them to yourself and don't post them on the internet.

[Paul Mailath]

Originally Posted by Philip Howells

Paul I know you added a smiley but that unless that infers "I don't mean what I've just written", I suggest you be man enough to explain yourself here.

.

I simply meant that 'I'll explain it in the private area' no hidden meaning

Originally Posted by Philip Howells

If it's simply that you don't want people to find out the "huge amount" about you I suggest you don't post to any forums, close your website and come off Facebook

Since there is no mention of my facebook membership on this site or on my website - I assume you must have located it by ... searching.. that's what bothers me.

I'd happily minimise my exposure on the web but it's a great marketing tool - a necessary evil.

in the private section Chris has given his reasons for starting the forum and it's there, done and dusted. rather than debate it's validity why don't we just ensure it's used wisely - as Chris intended.

[Philip Howells]

Originally Posted by Paul Mailath

.

snipped...in the private section Chris has given his reasons for starting the forum and it's there, done and dusted. rather than debate it's validity why don't we just ensure it's used wisely - as Chris intended.

Paul evidently we don't share an understanding of our common language, the only thing Chris Hurd has said it that the secret section is for topics of a "sensitive" nature, nothing done or dusted there.

And that's what it is, a secret - it's not visible (but restricted or available to professionals only), it is simply invisible. Of course, once you do log in - and there's nothing to stop brides and grooms logging in just as easily as you or I - it's open for everyone to see. Where's the benefit then? If those who want to have these undefined "sensitive" discussions require a forum, why not start one. Don't publicise it - don't let Google find it - just tell your like-minded friends.

As I said before, if you don't like people finding out about you then don't use the internet. It's a no-brainer.

As I wrote, if anyone can suggest the sort of topics that are too "sensitive" I will be as fair in my response as I can be and if I am swayed by the argument, I'd be happy to reconsider my attitude to the secret section. If they can't then the sooner the section is dropped as a "bad idea on second thoughts" the better. Right now it does none of us nor our industry any good at all.

[Travis Wilber]

I like that its private and wish the rest of the forum didn't come up on internet searches.

I don't like the fact that when people search my name on google it brings them to posts in this forum. Makes me never want to make a post asking a stupid question or looking for advice on something I screwed up on.