Hello everyone at DVInfo.net!!! I am a new member of this community and a new owner of a Canon GL-2. I purchased my camera last week and have not put it down yet. This weekend my friend and I shot a short film and I would like to get some feedback and/or advice and suggestions. I want to enter it into a Film Festival at my college.

You can see the Quicktime video here...
http://www.houseofhazard.com/onlineben.html

Thank you for all your time,
Kirill

PS - It's a pleasure to be a member of this fine community!

Nicely done. Although I didn't really understand why it turned color at the end.

I'm no expert, but it seemed the editing was off rythem at a couple of points. (see this (http://www.videomaker.com/scripts/article.cfm?id=9848) or
this (http://www.videomaker.com/scripts/article.cfm?id=10004) for what I mean. Try "Render" if asked for a password)

I also did not understand the reason for the change from monochrome to color?

Hi Kirill,

I thought your film looked great and kept me interested throughout. I'll echo the "why go to colour" comment (although personally I can only see in monochrome until I've washed up in the morning. Maybe that was it?).

I also own a XM2 (the European equivalent of the GL2). Great, huh?

What NLE did you use? And what rendering settings did you use?

Once again, nice movie.

Ian . . .

It's okay, kinda boring. The end was funny though!

I think you could shorten it and make it just as good I found myself bored quick

Nicely filmed, did last a bit long and .....

WHY DID IT TURN TO COLOUR???!!!! :-)

"Think you can sell, reckon you could survive in a demanding fast paced environment like mobile telecoms?......then we wanna hear from you."

What you recon Ian? :-)

No, no, no, extend it!!

I presume there is, or there could be a girl in the room next door. The guy has just realised his luck is in and he gets ready frantically in the bathroom. We don't know this, and don't realise until the end when we get the condom shot which reveals his situation. So personally, I would like to have seen more activities which would lead to greater payoff.

Apart from that, I liked some of the shots very much, and the sepia look was class. Now if only you could have shown the condom packet in colour and nothing else, there's a project for you.

Keep shooting man!!

Nice one.

Hi Richard! Have you heard the original ad or did you hear it on my voice demo?? It's quite a while ago I did that one so I guess the latter. I thought your rendition was excellent - I prefer it in the Mancunian accent ;-)

lol

James, the problem with extending it is that the entire story starts and ends in the bathroom - or at least that's how I understood it.

The other part is simply that having gone into more detail (such as anti-perspirant and all that other stuff) would have made the film somewhat tedious and the payoff would have come much too late.

Then again...I could be wrong.
---
For those wondering who I am and I seem to think I can tell people that they're wrong or right (I know all of you are thinking it):
I'm the guy in the video. That's right, that's my face, not a vision of Adonis (Modesty; thy name is me).

Hmm...kind of a paltry introduction/first post...but it'll have to do...

This might be a stupid question, but whats in his teeth that makes him flip out? is it a piece of meat? chocolate? i get that if u saw something like that in your teeth that you would want to brush them, or pick it out, but i dont get the condom gag. i thought he was going to pick it out with the edge of the condom wraper. did i miss something? i get that hes preparing for something, but i dont get why he would rush about at the end for a single condom, considering he didnt rush to shave. i feel like i missed something, someone clue me in. It looks good though, definitly looks better in B&W. maybe take some saturation out of the color bits.

As I interpreted it he just thought about a condom and franatically
starts to search for one. The gag is that he thinks his teeth are
not the problem or that he is missing them due to his haste.

Rich, the idea was to have a set-up for this guy who apparently never brushed his teeth (or at least it should have had to look that way).

In reality all that crap was just some chocolate and dried bread - but it gets the job done methings.

Well... first of all I would like to thank all of you for the constructive criticism... it actually went a long way. I am re-editing some of the shots and from what seems to be the mass opinion - the whole film will be done in black & white.

I believe the intro might need to be reworked... perhaps instead of one continous pan up to the faucet... several closeup shots cut to the music and then a short pan up to the faucet.

I also am going to shorten the closeup of his teeth - that stays on screen way too long. A few minor adjustments to other shots as well.

By the way... I am trying to enter this piece into a film festival at my college... and well my friend and I are in talks with Dave Brubeck's and Paul Desmond's attorney. Apparently, Brubeck owns the recording rights and Desmond owns the song. Hopefully all goes well!!!

Thanks again for all your input... I will definetely post more updates.

Oh... and to answer your question Ian.

I use Adobe Premiere Pro (v7.0) and it was rendered in Quicktime format @ no compression... then I took it into Quicktime Player Pro and compressed it to the web with Sorensen 3.

I was amazed at the quality it produced... maybe because there was very little color variance?!

I caught the earlier note on rhythm, then watched the movie. The apparant rhythm problems stem from the song, not the movie. You see, Brubeck did this song, and many others in 5/4 and 9/8 time. He was quite an innovator with odd rhythms. I believe this song is from 1961. So... counting to 4 or to 8 won't work when editing to this particular song. Counting to 5 would work. (Ok, I had to ask my high school daughter who plays in an orchestra about the tempo, but I knew about Brubeck, really).

Wow, even after reading about the color change thing, as I watched it, I forgot about it and never even noticed when it turned color. Isn't that strange? I had to go back when I realized I never saw the change, and was suprised that it had changed around the middle, and not in like the last 4 seconds. Must have worked on some level if I didn't notice it. On a concious level, I can't tell why you did it, but on another level, I never even noticed it on the first viewing.

Mabye it is the fact that I like black and white alot, or mabye something else. Just thought I'd share an alternate view to everyone elses.

-Liked it, color thing didnt bother me, and I got the joke :-) - good job

Aside from his shaving against the grain (it's from the chin DOWN if you want a close shave), and wasting water (fill the sink up once, and you're good), it wasn't bad. :)

The thing with his teeth bothered me, though. If it's just supposed to be "guy grooming himself for big date finally remembers condom", okay, but then why bother having dirty teeth? To show he's more concerned about getting some action than looking decent? If so, then why does he bother combing his hair, or shaving?

You have an excellent eye. I would love to see what you would do with a crew and a budget! My question to you is what is your background in film?

Thank you for all your comments and support. I am taking all of your ideas into consideration as I slowly but surely finish up the editing.

To answer your question G. Lee Gordon: I am taking Film 2 at my college... I am an art major, but I love film, so I try to take as many film classes as I can.

In response to Robert's comment:
(1) Well...yeah...against the grain, I got a few comments about that from others; mostly along the line of "ouch...doesn't that hurt?" but if it makes it easier, then consider that scene as me making a second pass on the shaving (first with the grain, and then second time around against).
(2) The point is really that this guy IS preoccupied with his looks, and that he IS pretty dead-set on looking presentable. The audience expects that upon seeing his teeth in such terrible condition he'd brush them (hence the drawer) but instead he takes out the condom. The unexpected is always the essence of humor...but if you really MUST reason it out: He has neglected his teeth for a while now (hence the terrible condition that they are in) and so he no longer really cares about how they look. Because of this, he ignores them.

Hmm...some of what I just said was just a rehash of the plot...but I hope that at least some has helped...

Yes, thinking of it as a second pass makes it much easier, thank you very much. I used to shave like that, without any pain, but stopped when I found going the other way made my neck so smooth and pretty. :)

As for the story, well, your explanation makes sense, but there's something about the movie that still bothers me. Wish I could figure out just what it was...ooh! I know: the length of time between when he smiles, and the cut to the startled expression. The edit could be a little tighter, I think. Seems a little unnatural for the guy to stare at his teeth for so long before reacting.

Something that also bugs me, though not nearly as much, is the way our friend tries to find the condom. If, as you suggest, we're supposed to think he goes in the drawer to find toothpaste, well, why didn't he go there first? There's an entire drawer dedicated to mouth-related hygiene products in his bathroom, I find it hard to believe he'd forget where it was.

In other words, we, the audience, see him open his mouth to look at his teeth. He then gets a look of remembrance on his face, and we think to ourselves "Okay, he has noticed this dead bug in his teeth, and is not happy about it", and we expect him to brush. You could argue that it's good for the audience to find themselves thinking "Why didn't he just go to that drawer in the first place? Oh! 'Cause he wanted the condom!", and you'd be right. It does work, but I think it might be better if he bent down and looked in the toothpaste drawer FIRST, rooted around, and closed it, leaving us to think "What the hell was that? The toothpaste was right there, what's he doing?"

You could implement those suggestions with a little rearranging/creative cutting of scenes (if only so you can better visualize how well they'd work), if you like. But it's really no major calamity. They are just suggestions, after all.

Good stuff nonetheless, and I'd certainly like some more.

Yes...the smile thing...that's DOES hold for too long (one of the problems we picked up on fast...)

Now...onto the drawers:
You hit the nail on the head when you said that the reason he didn't dive straight for the drawer filled with tooth products was that he was actually just looking for the condom...and so...I guess it doesn't really require any explanation on my part...

thanks for all the input and i hope i've got something good here!

I did a final edit for the "shaving" movie... you can take a look at it here...

www.houseofhazard.com/kirill

please also, if you have any suggestions for a title!