Well 2011 is starting with a challenging wedding this weekend approaching.

Mother and daughter came around a few months ago. Mother was fantastic, chatty, laughing, loved my work (and most importantly - loaded). Wanted the best for her daughter - who sat there the entire time with arms folded and a spoilt brat pout on her face. Didn't say a word.

By Mum's own admission, groom is a farmer and "not into all the romantic stuff". Bestman is painfully shy. Whole bridal party "hate getting their photo taken". LOTS of kids present. Rain forecast.

Ugh. The perfect storm approaches...

I actually get quite tense on the day if people don't give me the shots I need - I know, I know, I shouldn't worry so much about it, but I like to strive to deliver a better product than the week before.

My mantra is to take a deep breath and think about the money.

How do you cope on the day with "challenging" clients - or clients who don't seem to give a hoot about video anyway... any tips to keep the spirits up?

I drink a lot ;-)
Not really but sometimes I wish it were so. In answer to your question, I guess in the case you described (we've all had 1 like it I'm sure) I just dial myself down and keep shooting. Strictly doco style. I don't try to set anything up (not that I do much of that anyway) and I try to stay out of their faces. I don't really change my style much but tend to just go for the "journalistic or candid" approach.
About all you can do. I think if you get too much in front of them they'll shut down and then they'll run away if they see you approaching their space.

Sounds like the weather might be the catalyst for the mood of the bridal party and you'll know that soon as you get out of bed. Plan B might include some of the more *cheerful* guests whom you could suss out early to help jolly up the scene.

Mum would want a happy DVD she should help things along by plying the males with drinks, watch she doesn't overdo it. Keep smiling, moving about and your cool.

Cheers.

John, be sure and report back how things go!!

I did a wedding not long ago where the bride was a beautiful blonde but she had the most bored look on her face and bored tone you can imagine. It was actually quite funny as she repeated the very serious and loving vows in a bored monotone. LOL!!!

Hey John

We get good ones and bad ones!!! I had a bride who was great but the groom hates cameras in all shapes and sizes and would only agree to having a video if the camera was at LEAST 20 metres or more from him at all times (including the ceremony!!!) I did have a bad feeling about him and offered them a cooling off period before paying. Luckily they opted out and I have heard no more!!!

Unless you are fighting for work, why not give this a miss??? (or is the money really that good????)

I guess you could make sure that Mum is always in the shot to brighten up the proceedings? but doing an intimate shoot with just the couple will be tough if she is always unhappy ... she might just brighten up on the day as well. Yes, keep us in the loop and hope you have some happy news to tell us!!

Chris

I don't think you can forecast the bad or the good ones. not until after the shoot.
We had shoots were we were expecting the best shots that turned out so so and the expected bad ones turned out the best ones, so we cant really predict that.
However, given these two scenarios, you should always plan for the worst case.

I guess that those of you who shoot the cinematic type of production that relies on staging shots and getting the couple to work with you may find these sort of events difficult, but that's when your personality and charisma should be at full tilt on the day to ease them through.
I on the other hand take a more detached - capture the day - sort of approach. I don't keep 20 metres away I do get in amongst the action where I can and I'm still amazed that couples say at the end of the day "We hardly noticed you were there". If you don't act as a stills photographer giving directions and instructions you soon become just part of the background activity. I've had quite a few grooms over the years contact me afterwards and thank me and say how pleased they were to have had the day captured, these are ones who were indifferent to having a video before, or even set against it but were over-ruled by the bride (or here mother).
I've only once been confronted on the day by a groom. After the first dance he asked me if I'd be keeping a light on, when I told him that if I didn't there'd be no point in filming (this was in a marquee) he said I may as well finish then so I did.

As for sullen grooms I just get on and don't take too many close-ups and as for preening brides I've had loads of those, the sort that are continually adjusting the top of their dress fearing they are about to pop out of it. Drawing their attention to it just makes it worse as they then become very embarrassed.

This is precisely why we let couples know that we are choosing them as much as they are choosing us. We only accept 20 bookings each year, and so we let brides and grooms know up front that we are looking for couples that fit with us and appreciate what we do. And yes, we've ended consultations when we identified that the couple wasn't right for us. Not an easy thing to do, but better than booking a problematic couple.

Everyone has a different business model and I know that our approach isn't for everyone, but it's worth trying if you can. To this day the only bridezilla experience we've had was when we stepped in and shot a wedding for a colleague who got hurt right before the wedding.

I can't tell you how awesome it is to work with 20 couples a year that love what you do and will talk about you to everyone. I'll never go back to just working for money. d;-)

[QUOTE=George Kilroy;1604457]I guess that those of you who shoot the cinematic type of production that relies on staging shots and getting the couple to work with you may find these sort of events difficult, but that's when your personality and charisma should be at full tilt on the day to ease them through.
I on the other hand take a more detached - capture the day - sort of approach. I don't keep 20 metres away I do get in amongst the action where I can and I'm still amazed that couples say at the end of the day "We hardly noticed you were there". If you don't act as a stills photographer giving directions and instructions you soon become just part of the background activity. I've had quite a few grooms over the years contact me afterwards and thank me and say how pleased they were to have had the day captured, these are ones who were indifferent to having a video before, or even set against it but were over-ruled by the bride (or here mother).
I've only once been confronted on the day by a groom. After the first dance he asked me if I'd be keeping a light on, when I told him that if I didn't there'd be no point in filming (this was in a marquee) he said I may as well finish then so I did.

Cinematic doesn't rely on staging and with the DSLR camera, you don't need an on camera light that will bother the groom. Get a fast lens and you can pretty much shoot in the dark.

Hi Michael.
My comments were to those who do actively direct or stage shots that would require some cooperation from the bride and groom. In many of the online cinematic type productions it is obvious to me that there has been some level of staging and direction which would be very difficult to achieve without a compliant couple. Travis has addressed that in saying that he will only accept bookings from people that he is confident will conform to his style of shooting, which is probably what most of those producers do.

I know many do shoot very discretely with DSLRs, which are renowned for low light performance.

I occasionally get couples like this. Mom is uber excited about the video, the couple could care less. I'll admit that these films are not the best mainly because if the couple doesn't care about me, I care a lot less about their film too. That's not saying the final product is bad, but I'm not putting any extra effort into it.

I think these jobs are just part of the business. It might feel good to turn away couples that don't match your vibe but quite honestly, my vibe is $$$. I'm all for making amazing films but if I'm not making money on them, I wouldn't do them. If I turned away the 2 or three couples a year that are like this, I'd lose 10k-15k in work. I'd rather suck it up and take the money.

I get what you're saying Darrell and trust me, I'm a businessman too. But we only work with 20 couples per year. So when we pass on a couple that doesn't fit us for whatever reason, we're not losing any money. We're just booking a different couple instead.

I appreciate this advice. I like the statement that we are choosing them as much as they are choosing us. I'm currently in the same type situation. I was contacted by a bride to do a one-cam ceremony only. So the price is already very low. She was very nice and agreeable, but after speaking with her father, I have some hesitation about working with him. Since it's a small project and I don't really need it, I think I will turn it down. I've never done that before, so I'm sort of searching for the words that would keep things as amicable as possible. Any advice? I hope this is along the lines of this thread - I don't mean to hijack!

Michael, I don't know how far ahead was your conversation with the father. I normally tell my clients that another Bride has expressed interest on the date, that way I have leg room to ditch. In your case my best advice would be to tell them that a relative is getting married that day, and you were asked to shoot it for them. That way you do not sound like you wasted the client's time.

My 2 cents

I was contacted by both of them today. I would want to stick to what I know so far though - one thing being that I don't have anyone who has contacted me about that Sunday yet.

Michael, I personally would never lie to a couple (or anyone for that matter). If I feel a couple is not right for us for whatever reason, I will just tell them that I don't think we're the right studio for them. You can then provide them with an alternative to contact if they are interested. It's not really an easy thing to pull off, but in my opinion it's far better than working with the wrong couple.

If I had a dollar for every time I took a "so-so" gig and shortly had to turn down an "awesome" gig for the same date..... I'd have like $50 bucks!!! Ok... so it's not really about the money as it is your sanity.... and portfolio.

Michael

In my view you've been given the right advice - if you haven't contracted the job, decline it politely, if you have, do the best with it you can.

I did a wedding before Christmas at which neither we nor the photographer were required at the church because the bride's afther had recently died and she didn't feel able to handle media at all.

As you may be aware we feature one to one interviews with the immediate family as part of our programmes and the bride and groom both asked me to keep the feature but obviously be disceet.

After 30 years of interviewing I can usually do these things on the fly but in view of the need for discretion I purposely structured the questions and topics I would ask to ensure that there could be no related link to the father's recent death.

The result I'm afraid was that two of the family seemed determined to bring up the father's death regardless of how tortuous the manner in which they linked to my determinedly unrelated questions. Half wondering if I was being set up, I actually stopped one and said "Could I ask you the question again because I really wanted to talk about the bride's dress and not her father's passing?" It was almost as if they were determined to be unhappy and I was left wondering if the best thing wouldn't have been to have cancelled all media or even postponed the wedding entirely.

If for whatever reason you decide to proceed with a problem like this, you can pay special attention to shooting lots of candid shots of people especially when they are doing amusing or interesting things. Don't forget to take lots of shots of children; they can really brighten up a production. Also it's a good idea to take a lot of beauty shots of the venue. If you do these things, you can put together a nice production even if the B&G are duds. Actually it's a good idea to do these things in any case but they can be a huge benefit when producing a video of a lifeless couple's wedding.

Hi guys, thanks everyone for their feedback and thoughts.

Well, it was a hell day as predicted. It didn't rain..... but....

Bride was of the "texting generation". Didn't give a sod about the timetable or anyone else. 50mins late to the church, didn't talk to anyone the entire day. The sparse info I received about the service was 100% incorrect. Speakers didn't stand where planned, couple didn't face the way I was told. During the service it dawned on me what a circus it actually was so I kind of stopped caring. I floated away on a cloud of inner peace and just started looking for other nice shots to capture... they weren't gonna happen with this couple. Luckily the kids were fun and stole the show - they loved gawking at themselves in the swivel viewfinder - a cinematic masterpeice it isn't, entertaining for the client - probably.

The groom was the splitting image of Randy from "My name is Earl". He made rednecks look clever. Goofing around during the vows, pulling faces and flicking the bird at the camera at every opportunity.

So I guess how I made it through was to keep reminding myself that I had been paid already, it isn't my video - it's something that is theirs for life. If they want to sabotage things, it isn't really my problem. I'll keep focusing my energies on the fantastic couples I normally get, and learn to zone out a little and not let these people ruin my enjoyment of my chosen profession.

Unless you are fighting for work, why not give this a miss??? (or is the money really that good????)

Hi Chris - yeah, the money is very good. Be a fool to turn it down. I'm cranking out NZ$3000+ weddings in a country where the average wage is only NZ$600 per week. I'm making hay while the sun shines!

the sort that are continually adjusting the top of their dress fearing they are about to pop out of it.

Hi George - YES! I'm getting so much of that lately... the strapless dresses that sag down and they are forever yanking the side back up under the armpits - totally unusable footage!

I'll never go back to just working for money. d;-)

Lucky bugger. Unfortunately I'm a complete unashamed whore to the video industry. Only in it for the money. I'm an empty and shallow soul. I suck. But I'll win Lotto soon and have a mass cancellation party!!! :)

I'll admit that these films are not the best mainly because if the couple doesn't care about me, I care a lot less about their film too. That's not saying the final product is bad, but I'm not putting any extra effort into it.

Agree 100% Darrell. Lucky I've been doing this so long, I click into 'robot-mode' and can quite easily crank out a half decent video that the client is overjoyed with without too much effort. Isn't spiritually that rewarding but all part of the job I guess.

So hopefully 2011 can only get better! Cheers everyone!

Lucky bugger. Unfortunately I'm a complete unashamed whore to the video industry. Only in it for the money. I'm an empty and shallow soul. I suck. But I'll win Lotto soon and have a mass cancellation party!!! :)

Invite me to the party! d;-)