Ive made the chages that I wanted to make.
Basically, ive recut it, played with the sound. Its still not perfect at the start but its better. The second half where they go upstairs should be a lot better.
I have also worked on some colour correction and made it widescreen in an atempt to make it more film like.
heres the link...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=13263950


Let me know what you think, please



Thanks in advance.

The editing and acting were pretty good (save the barmaid, who was unduly interested). I think it is in the lighting that this film could use some improvement. It just was not very atmospheric. Budgetary limitations perhaps?

Lights sadly are not part of my equipment list as of yet, so it was done with lighting in the scene.

Im going to look into buying some lights though.

I agree with Emre, the acting was (surprisingly) good - are they professionals? Also, the sound was very good, which is critical. Camera angles/editing were good. Overall, this ranked very well and is similar to the look and feel of other contemporary UK productions. I disagree with Emre about the lighting not appearing atmospheric enough - I've seen very similar looks and feel on other UK productions, which is probably your target market. Better lighting would help, but it certainly kept my attention for the length of the clip. On another planet compared to many of the drama clips I see posted here. Well done.

Thanks for all the input guys.
The actors are kinda semi professional, they police officer is the guy im doing this for. He wants to go from theatre to television and film but needs something to show people. At the same time im getting experience in filming, editing and script writing.

Any more advice is welcome.

overall I think the second half when they are upstairs works a lot better and really feels like you are being drawn in. Im considering just getting rid of the first half.

What do people think?

I thought this was much better than the previous version... The audio was much better than before.

It was interesting as well, and kept my attention.

overall I think the second half when they are upstairs works a lot better and really feels like you are being drawn in. Im considering just getting rid of the first half.

What do people think?
Then it would just be two people talking. You would eliminate the context.