For those just tuning in, in case this baffles you, on another board, whose name shall go unmentioned (what the heck, it doesn't work a lot anyway), a fair young lad not all that far into his teen years, armed with nothing more than a cheap miniDV camera, went with his friends to the local mall intending to grab a shot for a video he was producing in high school. He was shooting his friend, who was simply sitting on a ledge, when the mallnazis came after him and escorted the lads out, rather fiercely, apparently. Some rude exchanges followed, as I recall the story, the kids ran but not nearly fast enough and the mallcops caught them, hauled them to the office where they began an intimidation process (not like those in the media these days, but frightening nevertheless to the kids). However, remember, dear reader, these are techhead kids, video savvy dudes...and good ol' Alex kept his camera running the entire time. Yes!

So he did what any kid with a computer would do these days: he edited his footage into a video called "Mall Cops Suck" and put it up on a website.

The story should have ended there...but...somebody apparently tipped off the mallcops, and the evil mean-spirited mall management threatened a lawsuit with the parents. The kids took down the site.

I, too, have been busted by mallcops numerous times in the performance of my own video duties, so I sympathize. Those among us of a less benign outlook on life posted that the mall is private property, to which I reply--hey, let 'em give back the tax breaks, then, as well as the right-of-way to the public streets they so suavely commandeered in their lust for profit.

The malevolant mall menacers also banned the kids from the mall. So the suggestion was made that the kids stand on a public street corner across the street from said mall and shoot video day and night for a week or so and see what happens. However, by this time, they had let bygones be bygones and gone on to newer and better video endeavors.

However...Mall Cops Suck! is the stuff of which internet legends are made. Keep up the good work, dudes!

Dog Protection
 

Hi All. I'm a Meter Reader for the Los Angeles Dept. of Water and Power and we deal with dogs of all sorts on a daily basis. As somebody posted earlier, running from the dog is probably the worst thing you can do. Unless, of course, it's a big mean Rott or Pit and he's headed your way with a big smile on his face. :)

95% of all dogs will back down when confronted (excepting the trained guard dogs or fighting breeds). It's all about attitude. They will put up one hell of a show to scare you off, but if you stare them down and proceed like you're going after THEM, they will almost always back off. Just from the nature of our job we become experts at reading the body language of dogs and are able to tell at a glance which dogs are safe to go in with, and which ones to avoid.

One piece of equipment that is issued to us is a small black umbrella that pops open with the push of a button. It even comes with a sort of sheath with a belt clip so we don't have to carry it in our hands all the time. Rarely do I have to 'pop' the umbrella to back off a dog, but when I do, boy are they surprised. It's like those lizards that have the fold of skin behind their neck that they open up to make themselves look ten times bigger. If the umbrella fails to scare a dog off, at least I have something for him to chew on (besides my leg) while I get out of the yard.

I hope this helps, and I hope you had that bite taken care of.

-Patrick

Big stick? I'm sure a monopod might do just fine.

Honestly though, If you have the guts to run at the dog (like it says in one of the previous posts) and this doesn't work. Just pop it in the face with anything-foot, fist, knee, stick. Unless it's a wolf or in a pack, you should come out on top.

<<<-- Originally posted by Evan Fisher : Big stick? I'm sure a monopod might do just fine.

Honestly though, If you have the guts to run at the dog (like it says in one of the previous posts) and this doesn't work. Just pop it in the face with anything-foot, fist, knee, stick. Unless it's a wolf or in a pack, you should come out on top. -->>>

I think this statement might work, but beware,
My brother is a dog trainer, and I´ve seen quite a few events on a few of the dog "sports" and trust me on this one, a well trained dog, will not stop with any pop on the face (unless you pop a bullet, or a VERY HARD hit with a bat, and that will not be easy if you are holding a camcorder).

Of course a well Trained dog will not attack you without a given order, unless you are doing something wrong (tresspassing mainly)..

On the other hand, there are "Bad" Trained dogs, that will be much more dangerous.... and those are the ones that usually make the news, and give a bad reputation for many breeds (Pit BUlls, Rottweilers, etc).

I think this dog issue has been tackled all wrong. The dogs wouldn't be bothering you if they weren't insecure deep down. For your benefit, I will diagram the three main Psychographics of K-9's in North America.

Overcompensation Puppies: Much like like frat boys menacing from their porches or balconies, these dogs have deep down fears of being inadequet. These are generally content to stay on their lead, I suspect many aren't even attached but like to appear that way to eliminate stressfull chases. If they do attack, expose you're (hopefulle) superior external genitles to them. Assuming they do not associate what they see with a long lost chew toy, their little puppy libidos will be devastated. Be advised, this may not work for women with fewer than 6 breasts.

Misunderstood Mongrels: Some dogs aren't homocidal. Some don't even have bloodlust! They just really want to play. They are often misunderstood, because people are always too busy with 'people things' to take a moment to pat bellies or scratch ears affectionately. They occasionally get pepper sprayed or have pens jammed in their mouth when they really just want to fetch your slippers. To seperate these pooches from the other, more dangerous types, pretend to throw a ball off to the side. If they go after it, consider taking a moment to bring happiness to a fellow mammal. Who knows, your cholesterol might go down!

Carl Rover: Here are the baddies; these boys aren't necessarily trained to go for the jugular, some of them are born to kill for their own amusement. They have gained power as they won a lot of seats in the last election. Now, however, they are out of the job for at least 3 years, so they're bored and looking for sweet sweet flesh. One of their favorite past-times is tearing into the 'liberal media.' This includes anyone with a camcorder who is not currently brandishing a firearm or supressing a human right. Thus, if a dog of this type is on your case (you'll know it by it's GOP tags) quickly praise Bill O'Reilly for his journalistic integrity.

See? Violence is never the answer. There's always another way.

<<<-- Originally posted by Tom Koerner : ...occasionally get pepper sprayed or have pens jammed in their mouth... -->>>

This reminds me of something, but I can't say just what.

If you are desperate for a deterent. When I was a kid a neighbors dog would always chase us on our bikes and bite us if it could catch us. My dad gave me a squirt gun with diluted ammonia (very diluted). The dog went after us again and it got a squirt, it never chased us again. This was a last resort... I'm a dog owner and would never allow that to happen to my dog, but if he ever chased or bit anyone I would have responded appropriately.

<<<-- Originally posted by Tom E Young : Thank you I will do this, chase dogs when I see they want to chase me. I am still scared I might be bite. -->>>Dogs can smell fear. Perhaps he will call your bluff and kick you ass.

One thing's for sure, dogs don't like pain. carry a walking stick or even a tree branch and whip him when he tried to bite. You might also add a "No!" while you're doing it.

<<<-- Originally posted by Robert Knecht Schmidt : Everything is for the best in this best of all possible worlds! -->>>

Easy, Pangloss.

therapy
 

Ask the dog if it realizes that it is just displacing pent up rage on the wrong person.

One round from a Glock 19 placed squarely between the eyes will make the assailant get verrrry sleeepy. :-)

Follow instincts. Climb tree ;)

Carry a cat. When the dog shows up, toss the cat at him. This will startle dog and cause him to stop charging you.

a) Cat will run, dog will chase cat.
b) Spunky cat will open claws, dog will run.
c) Dog and cat will have a good fight. Get camera going and sell footage to evening news. Sell to national news if cat wins.

My good buddy Mark is actually the head of the NYC ASPCA law enforcement. He was one of the first officers when they turned to a law enforcement branch. We grew up in the same apartment building. He is always on the show animal precient on cable TV. I'll ask him for a real answer when I see him again. This will put an end to the topic I hope. BTW, he has told me about dozens of bites over the years. If I have learned anything, there is no real answer.

My Staff Comforts Me
 

I don't waste my time being polite or deferential to aggressive dogs and not having much in the way of fangs or jaw power, I needed an accessory.

Several years ago, I found just the right limb on an ash tree and converted it into a multipurpose staff. It is 5.75 feet long, 2.3 inches in diameter at the top, weighs 3.2 lbs. and is slightly curved. It has a rubber cane tip on the bottom for traction. It has saved me from several dog attacks, one of which put the dog into deep regret. Dogs that have experienced near misses when I swung it around, don't make further passes at me-----picture Gandolph in the "Lord of the Rings". Twice, it has helped me block assaults by berserk hominids-----meth users, I assume.

It is an indispensible field aid for camera work in rough country. I can lean on it with a camera and use it like a monopod. But its main purpose is for climbing on slippery hillsides and it's even more important on descents. It's also good for parting or whacking down berry vines. If I were to encounter angry, antler-bearing animals in rutting season or a large predator in the woods, it would give me a fighting chance.