DVC3 - Snap Shot - Feedback
 

Let me know what you think. All feedback is greatly appreciative, be it positive or negative. If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I will answer as soon as possible.

Thanks.

Tyler

Snap Shot - Quicktime

Great fight scenes and the clouds were sweet. The end skipped over my head. I wasn't too sure what happened. What happened?

great fight scene, great soundtrack, great build up...but what is the ending all about?

Well done, visually really great! The fight sequence was too long and hard to my taste. And I am not sure to understand what happened at the end too.

Thanks for the comments, Richard. The ending is all about the boy getting his anger out on the picture, rather then going to the bully and taking it out in some physical form. And when he just goes back to reading his magazine, it's him putting it all in the past and going back to his life. Kinda 'forgive and forget' if you will. He's trying to let this incident affect him the least bit.

Sorry to you all if it's somewhat unclear, I tried to tell the story the best I could within the time constraint. It's also my first entry into these DV Challenges, and we can only grow and learn from our experiences and from feedback from others. So I cannot wait until DVC4! And being only 19, I have plenty of aspects of filmmaking to learn.

I guess I could post what I used here too, as I've seen some people do that.

Shot with: Canon Optura Xi (I borrowed my buddy's cam, to try it out. I have a ZR50.)
Audio: I just used the in-camera mic.
Edited with: Sony Vegas 5.0
Colour Correction: Magic Bullet Editors 1.1
Music: Liquid Cinema

That's all. Then I just got (forced/pleaded with) my friends to act in it. And the rest is as you see it.

Not bad as a first shot at it. Gave me that sad loner feeling. I have been there a time or two. Things I see are things others pointed out. Tighter pace, less, but not much, fight scene and find some way to show he is over the imediate trauma of the situationa bit better. Maybe meeting a friend to go see a movie or grab something to eat. It's hard to rewrite someone elses work so I leave it to you. It's your vision and your art.

Good for you for getting involved. Keep them coming.

Sean McHenry

Another note: At the end, he is crossing out the bully's eyes on the photo with a big black 'x', and then he writes 'DIE' on the side of the photo. It's kinda hard to see with the internet-size video.

Nicely done
 

Hello Tyler,
I really liked your piece and watched it 3 or 4 times - partially because I liked the general feel for it, but also partly because I was trying work out what I suspect was lost on my. First, I have to say that the fight scene was very well cut (although I may have to agree with earlier posts that state it might be a little lengthy), but it was painful to watch, and your aggressors we absolutely superb in realizing the roles.

But I also noted that the main character did not seem to to be much worse for the wear, having no scrapes, scratches, bruises or blood in his spit. So I began thinking that maybe he was a mystical representation of innocence and wasn't a real person at all. You can take that thought and take it down many threads, but as I applied it, it made me wonder, and so much of it came together in my head and wondered if that was what you were going for. I don't know...I just remember that my first submission for DVC1 (aside from being mostly 'not-very-good') was far too heady than my limited ability was able to present.

Anyway, I began to think that he represented some goodly type of entity that was attempting to 'photograph' the bully as a means to 'capture' a moment when all was good and fun was clean and then I began to think that perhaps his blocking out the eyes of the picture represented the bully's inability to see and recognize innocence any longer which brought me to the belief that what you were presenting was some type of poetic tragedy.

You see what staying up late at the computer does to my brain? Anyway, suffice to say that I still really liked you short - it caught me up and made me think (obviously) so thank you. Good job.
-Jon

Tyler, you probably shouldn't have said anything and we would have spend the next four pages reading volumes of meaning into the simplest details. :)

Tyler,

That was a damn good (and painful) fight scene. I wish my first attempt at filmmaking had been this good. Heck, I'm curious to see if my SECOND attempt at filmmaking (the one you'll see Friday) will be well received anyway.

Probably the only thing is that, as Sean puts it, if you want us to see the character "growing over" the incident, you have to, somehow, show it to us. Drawing over the picture wasn't powerful enought, in my opinion. Take it to the extremes: either slowly burning it afterwards in the fireplace or with a match, or framing it and mailing it to the offender. I really don't know - i't'll be your vision that counts.

Overall, a good thumbs up!

Cheers,

Hugo

I'm with Dylan. Don't explain the ending. I watched it three times trying to read meaning into the ending. Everything doesn't have to get explained to the audience.

Pretty good fight stuff. Painful to watch.
Reminded me of seventh grade...

Really good at setting a mood. Very watchable.

If you watch mine, I think you'll see I leave a lot open to the mind of the individual viewer. I try not to tell the whole story in minute detail. Let the viewer fill in the gaps in a way they want to.

Seldom do you hear people walking out of a movie with different ideas on what certain things were about. That dialog between the viewers explaining their versions of what they saw and heard, that's amazing and if you analyze that, you would be able to find out so much about each individual who sees the thing. Like ink blots, what each person has filled in will tell you something about that person and, if they are listening to themselves, they can even learn something about their own psyche.

Scary aint it?

Keep at it, you're doing fine.

Sean McHenry

i loved the opening sequence. beautiful, elegant pacing, nice placement and perfect choice of font for the title.

from a purely personal standpoint, i'm not a big fan of violent films. we get these fantastic gifts in the form of new storytelling media, and what do we do with them? violence and porn. over and over again. to the point of tedium. BFD.

having said that, i agree with jon that if you are going to do a scene this violent, some blood or cuts or bruises would add to the believability. that he walked away from that brutal beating without so much as a black eye took me out of the story and into wondering about the believability of what i was watching.

the resolution of the story lacks the same energy as the fighting. it needs to match, if not exceed it, to be meaningful in any way. feels kind of empty compared to the fight sequence.

you have accomplished a ton here in a short film, though. you've got great aesthetics--to have such a defined look to your film already, in your first effort, is truly amazing. the storytelling is a bit uneven, but the video has great texture and tone and mood. from the standpoint of how it looks, it is remarkably mature. i'm amazed by the images the kids can pull from the camera. maybe a bit jealous, even.

Tyler!

Way to go!

I liked several things about your film. First, the overall look and feel, especially the outside sequence, had a wonderful quality. Next, the editing and acting of the fight was done very well. Plus, I felt empathy for this kid who took such a brutal beating. To be able to identify with a character or "feel" for them is an accomplishment (in my mind) and one you should be proud of.

A thought on the ending...
In my humble opinion, I think Tyler chose the strongest ending, that this is just part of the kids life, and all he can do is accept it, sharpie the picture, and move one. It is probably the most realistic (and saddest?) ending, and thus for me the best.

Tyler, when I saw it all I saw was the "X". And actually, I think it is powerful just with the X by itself. In childhood education sometimes they see this as an expression by young children in response to something they cannot oppose directly. It is very deep psychologically, I feel. I don't know what you intend but this viewer at least reacted very directly to it.

Overall, I thought this was an emotionally powerful piece and is one of the reasons why I rated it so highly.

I really think DVers should strive for something with emotional complexity and ideas. As someone who saw all of the challengers it became clear that the obvious concepts were taken right away. Out of 27 entries the ones that stood out were the ones with the original ideas as almost all of the entries had adequate execution. From what I saw, the craft is already taken care of. Next, seek the next level in concepts.

He actually does spit blood, and have bruises and a bloody nose. It's cut pretty quickly, so it's harder to see. If you look at the scene were Mark spits, you can see it's kinda of a pink colour. With the colour correction, I think it may have 'bleached' all the red blood out. Also, I probably painted the bruises on too lightly, so they don't show up on the video that well I guess. But, as you mentioned, it adds to the story as your lengthy and wonderful explanation suggests.

Thanks again for all your comments, I'm taking these all in as a vast wealth of knowledge.

QUOTE=Meryem Ersoz]... i agree with jon that if you are going to do a scene this violent, some blood or cuts or bruises would add to the believability. that he walked away from that brutal beating without so much as a black eye took me out of the story and into wondering about the believability of what i was watching.[/QUOTE]


I was very impressed with the pace, lighting, and acting abilities of your three friends. And the way you cut this together in post was very impressive also. I, too, am not a fan of violence but appreciated the film for its other great qualities. You should be proud of your accomplishments for your first movie!

So, with that, please take my next comment in the spirit of observation and not as a critical flaw with your piece:

I agree with Jon and Meryem. Violence is used too lightly in movies these days, often with a gross under appreciation with how physically damaging a fight like the one you portrayed in you short, can be. In real life, most people who take beatings like that end up fighting for their lives in a hospital. Having spent years in full contact, competitive Tae Kwon Do tournaments, I know first hand what kind of damage a single punch can do.

All I know, Tyler, is that I DESPISED those bullies, and I wished that the victim had been adept at Jeff's Tae Kwon Do, or some other type of self-defense. Brought out the "fight violence with violence" in me, and it pained me to see this kid just take it. Of course, the ending, as others have pointed out, was quite powerful. (Besides keeping the theme intact!)

So, it would seem that you more than accomplished your objective with this viewer: You made a story that was believable and evoked a strong emotion.

Nice work.