George,

Another suggestion to make the text easier to read. Try using a darker shade of white - or something off-white. Using pure white makes the text less legible - it's something about the contrast that messes it up. Somebody else might be able to explain the exact reason.

The 2nd UFO clip was slicker and tighter and much more pleasing to watch all the way through, but I thought the intro from the first Mars clip worked better to catch the audiences attention.

Maybe you could combine the two? Start with the mission control intro and then cut to the UFO clip (have them monitoring the UFO instead of the Mars land rover). It's the best of both worlds ... pun intended.

It started out as an idea- where the bar gets "abducted" by the ufo, then it shows up all over the place- the Himalayas, the Pentagon- we've got lots of ideas....