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-   -   He almost froze to death (https://www.dvinfo.net/forum/show-your-work/42435-he-almost-froze-death.html)

Alain Aguilar April 4th, 2005 11:52 PM

He almost froze to death
 
Check my new trailer and let me know if you think my actors weren't nuts for jumping in the cold freezing waters of mid January. I could also appreciate some feedback of course of the general feel of trailer.

http://www.otestudio.com/glove.html

Thanks

Alain

Christopher C. Murphy April 5th, 2005 06:32 AM

Hey Alain, great job! It looks like a real movie! :)

But, you wanted feedback....both good and needs work stuff.

Good:

The actors look like they're really good - you got performances that looked real to me. There was some good action...running through the woods etc. To me that stuff makes trailers look professional..just seeing lots of on-screen action ads production value. (in my opinion) Also, I love drama and this looks like a drama piece? Great job! It looks like you're using your surroundings to your advantage (snow) - I do that too. It adds production value for free! When you try to market your film that aspect is nice to use. It seems like the "cold" of "winter" went along with a "cold" story? I saw it...not sure if you meant for that to play into the larger picture? But, sometimes things we don't realize creep into our work. I liked the backdrop of the winter...it's a nice "canvas" to paint on when shooting isn't it? I hate the cold and camera blowouts are hard to keep under control, but hey...it's still worth it. Hollywood has to pay through the nose for winter locations...

Needs work:

I think you're fading in and out to much in the beginning of the trailer. At the end you dissolved and it seemed to "feel" better. Also, you jump directly into the clip of the guy holding something. I'd start in black and use that voice over for a moment...let people hear before seeing. That's just an opinion, but it starts so quickly into visuals. Just give them a second to hear some voice over and then get into that clip? Hold some of the clips a little longer maybe? You show a clip and immediately start to fade to black...instead hold and cut to black with those graphics? I'm not sure, but it just seems like to much black and not enough movie...a little more would help. When those sound bites come up like "He said he was sorry" etc etc. I'd bring down the music a little bit....they're competing with each other volume-wise. I'd let the voice be dominate...then when the music really kicks in I'd let it rock out with the action shots.

Just my 2 cents...hopes it helps!

Geoffrey Engelbrecht April 5th, 2005 11:19 AM

Overal I thought it was great. Although the story didn't give me enough to really understand what the film was about and you didn't sell me on the feature.

I would tend to disagree with Christopher about the fading out at the beginning. I really liked this and think this fits very nicely with the music and titles.

Alain Aguilar April 5th, 2005 02:08 PM

Thanks for the feedback. I think we were very fortunate to work with these actors. Both leads were willing to put themselves through a very physical demanding job. The chasing down the hill scene was very chagenging, since the snow was up to your ancles the whole time. This sequence culminates with a fight at the river, which was almost frozen at the the time.

Christopher,
I'm taking your advices regarding the initial cutting, specially with the volomune and the voice overs. I also do agree with you guys that it's hard to understand what the story it's all about, but it will be fixed!

Thanks

Brandon Greenlee April 5th, 2005 02:34 PM

I enjoyed it as well and also thought it was very professional looking.

Looks like you've found some very good acting and know what your doing.

Also, I think the Smile Empty Soul song plays right into what you were doing on your trailer, however, I don't believe you'll be able to use it on your finished product.

Good Luck - you've really gotten off to a great start!

Alain Aguilar April 5th, 2005 03:21 PM

Brandon, thanks for the feedback. I actually have a geat original song that I can't wait to put in this trailer. I'm working with the editor on this one.

Thanks

Alain

Dave Ferdinand April 5th, 2005 03:22 PM

I'm intrigued, problem is that, like most people have said, it's hard to figure out what the film is about.

But at least you got my attention!

Very nice film look as well on most shots.

Alex B Henderson April 6th, 2005 09:06 PM

I think you may have tried too hard on the trailer to follow the music rather than the movie. Too many fade-ins with long lead times waiting for the song to catch up, which makes it hard to get pacing.

I don't see the relationship between the water and a baseball glove. I could guess a little bit, but I suspect many viewers would be less than sure.

I didn't see antagonist / protagonist, I didn't see situation, peril, or risk. Those are the sort of things that helps make a trailer really run. Without them, well, it's a good looking trailer that tells me little about the actual film.

My suggestion? Take that baseball footage and the whole "trust the glove" and run it FIRST... engage people right at the start. Make us curious to see what comes next - and try to reveal, at least slightly, what the connection is between these characters and the glove.

The images are great... I am sure the movie is great too. :)

Alex

Alain Aguilar April 6th, 2005 09:50 PM

Great comments, thanks! I think one of the issues we are facing could be the length of the film. We didn't want to give away too much of the 10 minutes short. We mainly wanted to portray the conflict between two people (in this case two brothers) and how the environment plays an important role in the increasing climax/conflict during and after the main chasing sequence. One thing I have to admit that I hate seeing in trailers is when they give away the whole film. Sometimes they show the entire sequence of conflicts and a big portion of the story line. If you check the following trailer; another one of my shorts you could tell my preference for not giving away too much.

www.nothingmanfilms.com click on the John Melon medium trailer.

Thanks for the comments, I'm taking all your suggestions, specially the ones about the fadings.

Al


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