Excellent piece. Good use of shots and good narration. I did notice the sound issue Per Johan mentioned, and the shots of waves were a little dark, but overall a very interesting piece! Well done.

Chris Swanberg

Hi Finn-Erik - Sorry I didn't manage to watch your submission for round 2 - I will comment on both this time round.

Your video work is very nice. It always seems to have a peaceful, structured feel to it. Your shots in general are carefully considered and a treat for the eye and your talented guitar playing complements these beautiful images.

After watching your sequences I am really taken with Stråholmen - it is very picturesque has some beautiful wildlife and has some interesting stories to tell - good choice of subject in that respect. Your shots of the various birds and animals are very crisp and the colours are good. I enjoyed the delightful Oystercatcher in particular. I was fascinated by your first shot of the swan in your second submission - it came as quite a surprise to see one of the pieces of ice floating on the water turn into a beautiful swan! :)

It is nice to hear your voice this time round! Your voice is clear and pleasant to listen to. Although I do realize it is very difficult to do when you are speaking a foreign language, which you do very well, it would lift the mood and heighten the interest a lot if you added a little more expression/emotion while telling your story. It comes across as being very matter-of-fact.

Something to think about when structuring your story:
I realize that you are probably wanting to do a simple story about Stråholmen, but in order to give a bit of strength to your story, consider putting more focus on the contrasting situations and moods that can be and have been experienced here - the almost idyllic serenity of the island (as witnessed by views of your boat and lovely scenery) as opposed to the perils of the sea (as witnessed by the oil spill and the wreck of the Valona.)

Another suggestion to consider: You have had a good, meaningful story drop into your lap - Stråholmen in the third round is not the same as when you started - the story in real life has taken a turn - what are the implications? Seeing the main attraction of Stråholmen - the stunning scenery and its wildlife - at stake is dismaying and it could perhaps be used to great effect. In this respect your shots of the oil spill and the damage it has caused could be a bit more dynamic (rather than calmly beautiful) with the inclusion of some quicker camera shots and use of diagonals in the framing. It would be good to convey the urgency of the situation in mopping up. It would be good to get your viewers more involved to appreciate what is actually at stake here and why it “will bleed for a long time”. Your story could be used to send a strong message to your viewers rather than remain a simple portrait of a beautiful place on earth experiencing a sad interlude.

Fin,

Have to agree with prior posts. Good use of graphics and I really liked the grapic drawing back to the ocean. It took me a bit to realize you were using the dark ocean as an ominous factor in your film.

It is coming along great.

the finale should be real nice.

Oh yea, I liked the pace of the audio and you do have a terrific voice for voice overs, as per mentioned.

You need to get an external mic for you camera, or perhaps borrow one.

Tanks so much for comments.

Marj,
Thank you for good suggestions. I will try to follow your wise advices and do more out of the contrasted sequence and voice over. My native language will be used in the final version.

Dale,
I will bring with me an external microphone on my next visit to Stråholmen.
The weather has been unstable for a long period. The rain is falling heavily outside my window at this moment. I hope the weather will improve this weekend so I can go to the island.

Hi Finn- Erik

What a mess we humans can create huh ! - This story has the potential to be quite hard hitting. However at the moment I find the edit quite flat and monotone. I think Marj has given you a fantastic critique talking about more heavilly using comparisons in your imagery and building a better back story. - You have good shots, the building blocks of what you need but this is an emotive and sad story and want to feel that more when I watch the images. The use of music/score/sounds will of course help this a lot too.

Good start and I look forward to your progress on this.

Mat

Here is a link to Stråholmen UWOL long form #4.
Narrating is in Norwegian. Below you will find the English translation.

Straholmen 4


00:04:18
The southern part of Stråholmen was declared a nature reserve in 1990. In the nesting period no human is allowed to enter this area.
Lots of seabirds nest out there. Migrating birds land and rest and leave.

00:05:18
As the ice withdrew more than 10 000 years ago the terminal moraine called the Ra was formed.
The sea has rounded the stones as here at Mølen. The Ra stretches further out and reappears at Stråholmen.

00:06:05
There were settlements on the island before 1600. Solid mooring rings are reminiscences of the time when Dutch ships stayed here waiting for fair wind.

00:06:21
Situated in open sea and close to the fjords and towns of Grenland Stråholmen was a perfect station for the sea pilots.
Agriculture and fishing were supplementary means of living. The population grew with the increase of shipping trade.
In 1875, 7 sea pilots and 49 people lived here.

00:06:46
The port conditions were poor until the pier was constructed by workers from the Telemark canal. The pier was finished in 1892.

00:07:16
The many skerries made the waters a frightful area.

00:07:24
I 1907 the Ålandic bark-ship Valona left Calais in France. She was on her way home to Åland in the Baltic sea. Christmas time was approaching. Increasing southern wind blew the ship towards the Norwegian coast. At 4 pm the Jomfruland lighthouse was seen to port. After a few hours breakers were heard. The lifeboat was launched and three men went aboard. A huge wave seized the lifeboat and turned it around. The three sailors managed to crawl up on the keel but lost the grip and disappeared. Shortly after the ship crashed on a skerry and everyone was thrown overboard.

00:09:06
13 men lost their lives. 12 were found and buried at the Skåtøy cemetery. A granite memorial was erected in memory of the unfortunates.

00:09:35
Here at Little Mostein the tragic shipwreck took place. The next morning a man caught sight of pieces of the wreck on the seashore. Then he heard screams from the skerry. A 20 year old sailor from Stockholm was rescued, strongly cooled down. He was the only survivor from Valona. In 1912 another shipwreck took place outside Stråholmen. A ship named Gustava of the nearby town Kragerø hit a skerry. 6 men lost their lives, two survived. After these tragedies a rescuing station was established at Stråholmen.

00:10:27
In 1911 a pilot station was established in Langesund. The island people made their living from fishing and agriculture alone and some became sailors. Since 1954 people have not passed the winters here. The homes of the pilots are now just summerhouses.
A few cottages have also been built.

00:11:08
The winter with snow has fallen upon the archipelago. This is the quiet season. A mute swan dwells where there is open water. A fishing boat maintains the channel in the ice.

00:12:01
Spring has arrived. The flowers grow up and face the sun.

00:13:24
Many new lives are born. Eggs are hatched. Many shall learn how to take the world with so many dangers

00:14:38
The house martins nest under the overhanging roof. At the end of August the young birds are still staying in the nest.

00:15:12
Then what should not happen yet happens. A cargo ship on anchor near Såsteinflaket drifted away a stormy night.
The ship stranded on a skerry and leaked more than 200 tons of heavy crude oil into the sea.

00:16:00
Crude oil drifted away with wind and stream. Shores from Sandefjord to Grimstad were affected and littered.

00:16:31
Many seabirds were hit by the spill.

00:17:26
A great job was done cleaning up the affected shores of Stråholmen. These stony shores were washed. Afterwards they were covered with bark and seaweed to soak up the remaining spots of oil. Oil booms are still floating on the waters as a final assurance.

00:18:00
Stråholmen is renowned for its botanical diversity .

00:21:11
Stråholmen has much to offer keen photographers.

Congratulations Finn-Erik:

This looks like a final entry to me, or very close to it. This is a solid documentary of Straholmen and how it continues to survive past and present tragedies with grace and beauty. I thought this was masterfully put together, with very creative shots and transitions like the historic ship moving back to the sea horizon and the view of the sailboat through the eye bolt on your own boat. Nice way to wrap the movie up with you sailing in the beginning and at the end. The narrating in your own native tongue was perhaps the best way to do this, even though it is work for those of us who don't understand Norwegian. Your camera work is first rate, subject matter interesting, the choice of music and how you use it with your video is all very well done (like the timing of the news articles about the oil spill with the music). I enjoyed the wildlife and the domestic animal life as well. The sheep are wonderful, and the swan with her chick riding on her back was fantastic.

This is wonderfully put together and 21 minutes went by very quickly, even without understanding the narration (except through the script provided in your thread). The only minor point that I noticed was that around 5 minutes into the piece, perhaps the audio dips a bit and then recovers?

Straholmen is a beautiful place and I can see why you chose it as your topic for a long format film.

All the best,

Cat

p.s. I'm glad to hear that the oil spill clean up was successful and very well executed. That is good news!

Finn-Erik...

I agree with Cat (again) this does appear to me a mostly finished film... you have been making good use of your time (unlike some of us). The photography and music were superbly matched. All nicely done without being "overdone".

A question, have you considered doing a subtitled version? While the entire world does not speak english (and I do only because of anaccident of birth) you do significantly limit your audience with your native tongue narration (which was delightful to listen to even if I didn't understand a word).

Beautifully done. Bravo.

Chris

Hi Finn-Erik.
I think you have made a great video from Straaholmen.
I'm lucky to understand your language and must say it's all fine.
Both relaxing tempo and interesting to follow.
I will recommend you to make an english version though. This video is to good not to be understandable to others than Norwegians :)

I have some technical to point out, but only suggestions though :)
There are a few jump cuts, as follow:
At the beginning, sailing to Straaholmen, I think you shall put a cutaway between the two clips of thge seals. Also later in the video when you show the bushes (in norwegian: kratt/gror igjen), too many similar clips.
When tha man is talking to the crowd, maybe shorten that scene? I think it last for just a few seconds too long.
Then at a point, just for a short period the sound seems to get a bit low, I think it's when you say; "Villsauen er mindre..." The sheep is standing on some rocks (norwegian again; steingard).
I think you can make the night clips just a little bit lighter (?).

I am certain this video can be sold to NRK (our national TV), it's a grerat documentary.
Your narrations is relaxed and suits well to the video and I think it's quite a job you've done.
Of course I love the sheep (just have to, I made my mammal video about the Wild sheep/Viking sheep). You have managed to make the oil disaster (Full City) a natural part of the video - great.
Also love the scene of the, not so beloved American (sorry folks) The Mink. Maybe you should link this to the other disaster (oil)? The Mink doesn't belong in the norwegian nature, but is a result from animals in captivity for the fur.

OK, that's it from me, hope you can use some of my thoughts.

All the best
Geir Inge

Thank you all for overwhelming comments.

Cat,
I have adjusted the narrating level in the video, but as you observed, one place was omitted.

Chris,
It is a good idea to do a subtitled version. The other possibility is to narrate the comments with my Norwegian tongue. I am not quite sure what would be the best.

Geir Inge,
Thanks for your technical suggestions. I think I will follow them all. After hours in editing I get blind. At the end, It was impossible to decide what was good or bad...

Finn-Erik- You have produced a very good program. I think it has appeal to a wider audience than most of our entries. I printed the English translation and had fun following along. If you decide to use subtitles remember to make them larger than usual to be readable on a small screen. I think the night scenes are a little too dark. Try lightening them until they look too light and then add a little blue to make them look like night again. The audio sounds good and I really like the many camera angles. Congratulations.

Mike,
Thanks for your advice about the night scenes. I will try this out on the final video.

Hi Finn-Erik:

How are you? I've posted on my thread a before and after picture of an attempt at color correction for one of the elk shots that's being commented on. Would you mind having a look and let me know if this is helping or hurting? Thanks so much for the advice!

Cat

Thanks Finn-Erik for commenting on the photos. Your English is excellent and you explain yourself very well. I have a decided on a strategy now. Thanks for your help.

Cat

Finn,

Well put together and the images are very good.

I too would love a subtitled version for the the uwol submissions even if you take the track out later when you market it.

Hi Finn-Erik

Well done! How I envy you. You have certainly used your time well to get this far.

As far as your film goes I cannot put it any better than Cat. A beautiful entry, stunning shots and sequences.

Don't be shy to do an English voice-over - your English is very good. (Just one caution if you do decide to go for it - watch out that your voice doesn't become too flat while you are reading the narration in English.)

Best wishes Finn-Erik.

Marj

Dale and Marj,

thanks for nice comments and suggestions.
I think I will do an English voice-over version for the last round.

Finn-Erik, when I try to open your video I can get audio but no video. Is there a problem on your end or mine? Bob

Hi Bob,

I am sorry about your problem.
The video works well on my pc and mac, but I had some similar problems before.
I had to reinstall the quicktime player.

Here is my final anglophone version of my longform video.
I wish you a good listening.

Finn-Erik..

I just sat here for the last 20 minutes mesmerized.

I made a couple of mental notes.... and then stopped, because I just was enjoying taking in your entry so much.

Your images were crisp, balanced and nicely saturated without being overly so. Your storyline was interesting and the edits were practically "invisible". Your pans and zooms were pleasant to the eye and stopped smoothly. The music was used sparingly and when it was it was appropriate and fit the images nicely. The VO was excellent and the contrasting male/female voices worked well.

In short, this is a very professional production. 100%. WOW.

Time well spent my friend ! A winner!

Chris S.

sorry, Finn-Erik, pulling your link as well, pending a final headcount for the contest...

you can re-post it after we have sorted through the final entries....

Fin-Eric,


I very much enjoyed the nice easy pace of your video. I enjoyed the voice ove and I thought it was great having two different voices involved. I think your audio is great, something I am terribly weak in so I really respect what you have done here!!

I watch it again with a little more critical eye another day.

The story kept my attention.

Finn-Erik,

repost your vimeo version!!!


I watched it very closely this time. your compositions of shots is pretty astounding, great comps one after another. You have a gift there!!

first half of film I thought a lot of your shots were a tad to static. where you did apply motion withpull backs and zooms you did a great job on them. Being this is film I would have liked more movement.

the second half seemed much better in this regard!!!

favorite shot is of the sail boat through the hole in the rock!! but you have numerous shots that are first class.

In the second half you seemed to jump up an f stop or two F stops in brightness on some of the shots. Perhaps enriching the blu in the sky would have hleped that or perhaps cut the gamma slightly.

Bottom line, a terrific job. hope I can put together something as nice some day.

The narration is very good and kept my interest.

you should be able to get his on TV if you try!!

you have talent to burn!!


fantastic job.

Chris and Dale,
Thank you so much for nice and interesting comments.

Here is my Vimeo link: