Wow Jeff,
What a production! You have put a heck of a lot of thought into this, & it shows in this latest submission. I love the way you have set things up in this first part & can't wait to see more. Your shots are fantastic, the script is intriguing, & although it looks like you still have lots to do to put this all together, you look well on the way to making an incredibly professional piece. Do you have plans on marketing this? The way it's shaping up, i'm sure you could!
As i have said, i can't wait to see more!!!
Regards,
Bryce

Jeff,
This looks like it will be an intriguing piece. Knowing your story-telling skills, I think you will have no trouble holding the audience (even though your "Crysanthemum" may be a little too much like "Citizen Kane's "Rosebud"). The visuals are spectacular, but I would like to see your colors more vivid. Everything looks dusty. Using water as a vehicle to tie it all together is good, but because of it people will expect you to surpass your earlier entry "Touching Generations", which was a total masterpiece, the best thing I can remember from UWOL.
I'm sure you can do it.

Jeff, first of all excuse me that I've not commented your second part before now!

But I finally got time to do it and wow, you got some kind of a story here!
I'm a believer in your story. As a foreigner I'm not so familiar with the story of John Muir, but you hold my interest through your six minute story. I will definitive sit down and watch your finished story!
Your way of building up the story is very well executed. I like your visuals very much. Did you use any kind of jib/crane in your shots at the waterfall.
The narrating was very well done and easy to follow.

A minor comment to your edit: I could have liked that you faded out the ambient sound between clips instead of cutting it off as you did in this rough cut.

Looking very much forward to your next part!

I am watching the progress of this video in awe. You are obviously in full control of the entire process - from organizing crew and actors and equipment to filming - and it is developing beautifully. I thought I had taken on a lot but you have an enormous task here. Your footage is stunning to watch.

Jeff:

This has all the earmarks of a masterpiece in the making. You were wanting feedback as to whether the beginning holds interest. It is captivating. Your camera-work is masterful and your choice of music has filled it out nicely. It almost makes you feel like you are standing on a cliff in the grip of deciding whether you are going to jump off or not. I don't know why that comes to mind, but the video, narration... the entire experience is completely absorbing with the only important thing to do is watch to the end to understand the story of the pilgrimage, these two individuals and how it all weaves together.

Stunning! And you haven't really started yet!

Cat

Hi Jeff.
I think you are a true storyteller.
I'm from the old school and like a good story, told with words and pictures.
I think this will be a great film.
One of the thoughest thing in commenting other films, is that this it is just a part of a longer film. AND that I have to figure out how and what to wright in english :/ not so easy for a norwegian.

All the best.
Geir Inge

Hi Jeff - just as I said to Bryce - hope this is only down and not out. We have all been watching with intrigue and looking forward to your masterpiece in the making. We are missing you this round!

Marj

Jeff has already stated his intention to continue work on his project outside of the contest, it has evolved into something grand enough that it will take longer than a year...

Jeff, feel free to use your thread for feedback, as things get accomplished, or to accost individual players. We're all pulling for the completion of this and plan to come to your house for popcorn and a command screening when it is all done...