UWOL #4 The Make-up of Water
 

I started this challenge doing the "one man band" thing.
While looking for ideas I asked a friend about it he said he was busy but he would get back to me in a couple of days.
Well he did with script in hand!

This put an end to the "one man band" and I had to find talent, crew and transportation to a remote location.
The transportation can from a friend who has a sailing charter boat, he would give me Saturday morning (a week away) sail to the location 5 hours to film, sail home, talent and crew where friends and people I met from past productions.

The biggest thing I learned from this production is do not wear too many hats as all things suffer for it.
However, I am glad I did it I learned a ton about different aspects of shooting a film other than what I usually do.
From that standpoint, this film is already a success.

Hope, you enjoy, The Make-up of Water.

Bill Hamell

Bill,

Wow, to have all that help and cast too, must be nice.

You have a good story. I think you needed a better close up of the girl when she takes her shades off to make the point more poignant.

Sounds like you had fun doing it!! tossing in the sailing had to be a real perk!!

Dale,

Thanks for the comments, we are building quite a film community here in SE Connecticut. Everyone helping others doing their films and getting help when needed, I was actually limited in who I could bring by the sailboat.

After the fact, I was thinking I should have added some bounce to give contrast to the peaks and valleys of the makeup. Lesson learned


Here's a direct link to the film...
http://www.uwolchallenge.com/challen...eupofwater.mov

Bill

Bill,

Cool film. Yeah, I think a little more impact with the makeup would have been nice.
I agree with Dale, on a more extreme close-up of her taking off the glasses.

I thought it was a little long with her taking of her wrap. Though I almost felt a little voyeuristic watching her. Shame on you! :)

It's amazing what you can do when you have a little bit of help.

Good job on the film!!

Kevin,

Closer on the close-up, I was worried the shot was too close already.
Point taken next time I'll shoot more so I have a variety of shots to choose from.

I also had the same thought of it being too long with the wrap and if I had come in over three minutes that is where I planned to cut it from. However, I also wanted to instill some of the anticipation he was feeling into the viewer so that is why I left it as is, if you were feeling like a voyeur than good for me! :-)

Thank you for viewing and commenting.


Bill

Nice job Bill!

Sounds like you had fun! Thats important!
Sounds like you also have some good friends to have. Good for you! Thats awesome!

The only thing I would say is audio, I had a little bit of trouble with it, maybe that was just my head phones though.. It just seemed a little low, thats all. I am sure it is hard to mic out on the water like that!

Keep on doing what you do!
~Gabriel

Hi Bill.
Great story and well put together.
I want to see some more close ups though and maybe you should have short’n some of the clips. Also liked the music. Nice job.

Geir Inge

Gabriel, Geir,

Thank you for your comments, fun, we had a blast, even though we were rushed and had to make some sacrifices, we did have a good time and everyone wants to do it again. I achieved my first two objectives have fun and learn something and learn we did.

I appreciate the editing tips this is only the second project I have edited so criticism is very helpful.

I also appreciate the constructive criticism on my filming, as well it's how I will improve my technique.

Audio on location was something I learned about normally you would just rock the boom back and forth between the two talents and this works fine. With the wave action on one side all though the film the background audio would change when the mike was pointed toward the ocean then again when pointed away from the ocean. If I were to do this again, I would move the boomer much more than I did.

Lessons learned. :-)

Bill

Hi Bill,
A very professional approach and intriguing story line - which I enjoyed very much.
I did struggle with the audio, particularly around 2:27 and felt the look was a bit soft in places.
You certainly are running with a high standard, with the use of scripts, actors, charter boats, etc. Boy do I envy you Bill.
Well done...

David,

Thank you for the praise and criticism, the audio I spoke to earlier in the thread, some of the softness is what I was looking for like when the male talent walks from the small boat to the female talent I wanted him soft and walking into focus. However! Some came from using the 14X manual lens for the first time. I learned that with this lens I can not close down to f:11 with the PL filter and get sharp focus . I need to use ND so my exposure gets down to f:5.6 and use the sweet spot of the lens. Another lesson learned.

Bill

Great story and concept...I thought that the girl was going to turn out to be a mermaid...that would have been cool too.

I think that the film could have been about 30 seconds shorter with tighter editing, a larger variety of shots and less zooming in and out (sometimes you have to watch the transitions for that last zoom to change angles that can get caught in there, I noticed that it happened in a transition near the end of the piece).Also the end could have been a little tighter with just one or two shots of the disappointed guy. I also noticed that you did not credit your actors. Sorry for being critical I just think that you have a great concept that you can do something with (perhaps other film festivals) and I would want the same feedback.

I am so glad that you put together a narrative film with a story. It was very well designed, fun to watch, had nice dialogue and the acting was good. Terrific work.

Jeff

hi bill: welcome to UWOL. that's a pretty amusing backstory, actually. it's funny how these things snowball from one person into a pack. sounds fun. looking forward to seeing more of your work.

Jeff,

Thank you for the in depth response, and with the exception of the credit I agree with your comments. First the exception I gave the talent first credit, so due to bandwidth problems here, I did not include them again in the ending credits.

Now everything else, let me explain. My AD is a professional director/editor with 15 years of studio experience. If you live in the US, you have seen his work. I could have asked him to put this together for me and he would have. However, I would not have learned much from that. So, off I went on my second editing experience. Hoping I would get comments such as yours.
You must have it going on in your own right because your comments are an echo of Alec's. This week Alec and I are getting together (over my special meatball burgers) to re-cut this and my education will continue. Thank you for your frank and honest comments they are much appreciated. :-)

Mermaid!!! Why did I not think of that!! DOH!
We borrowed a friends SF Make-up kit to do the cracked make-up behind the glasses. He is a veteran of Star Trek Voyager and Aliens 4 and would have built a tail for me. DOH!(again) :-)

The re-cut just might be sent to a festival or two, you never know... :-)

Bill

Meryem,

It is good to be here and thank you for putting in the time and effort to bring us this wonderful chance to show our stuff, I hope to do more of these.

Bill

Bill, enjoyed your film very much, second what others have said about the editing and sound.
You did well, so did your talents, nice work!

Per Johan,

Thank you, I am glad you liked it. :-)

Bill

Hey Bill,

Sorry about that dude, I missed those first credits...

Jeff

We're good. :-)

Hi Bill:

Wow! I think that was the most INTERESTING twist to the theme "water" in the entire challenge. It had a very big message to it and I found it sobering. All the previous points are well taken about making the face shot reinforced in interesting and creative ways, because it all hinges on that. The audio could have been easier to discern. These things have been mentioned. Otherwise well done and I'm glad the guy got stiffed in the end! I loved the filming of her walking away, part in the picture part out and just capturing the smile at the end.

Cat Russell

Cat,

Thank you, I am so glad someone mentioned that smile I was afraid that might be missed. :-)

Bill

This was a very intriguing story. I enjoyed watching it, and when it ended, wished it could have been longer, so I could see various places the ideas could lead. As others have said, maybe a mermaid, or.... Thanks for sharing, and it looked like fun to make.

Ruth

Ruth,

Thank you for the comments, the mermaid angle is intriguing; maybe a re-shoot might be in order.

Bill

Hi Bill. I am happy to offer my feedback. Thanks for asking.

In general, as to production values and editing, I agree with the gang. To sharpen this peice as it is- follow their advice.

My feedback on the story is different. This piece needs to be full-on camp. You have a lady on the beach waiting for a male, with her cracked make-up, so she can smack him down with his own shallow response. The best part is when she is pouring the water because it succeeds in its bizarreness. At that point I was intriqued at what strange turn the story might take. Direct the actors to rise to the level of camp you acheived when she is pouring the water and be more playfull with your shots. If this is about shallow men, or perhaps it is about deranged women who spend their days trying to ensnare them, then use your camera to explore that woman. Try shooting throught the pitcher of water to emphasize the warped situation. If you agree with the woman and her smack down plot then your shots can emphasize the leering quality of the man. If your woman is a nut job then your shots can emphasize how strange this woman would have to be to sit on the beach with cracked make-up waiting for the man.

Oh, and to reiterate what I said in my declaration of the winner thread- Nothing is harder than directing a narrative piece with actors. Kudos to you for what you accomplished in that. And also for working in collaboration.

Hi Bill,
That was a cool approach to the water theme.
I enjoyed watching your film. Well done!
As others have mentioned, a more close up of her taking off the shades would have been nice. Maybe even only have her eyes in the frame. (or just a bit more)

Great film....I loved it. Did anyone else notice the full glass of water after the spill?

Randy

DJ,

Thank you for the insightful comments very helpful.

Trond,

Thank you for commenting.

Randall,

I didn't, it seems that from that angle she did not spill as much from the glass. I have another clip where she spills more out of the glass I can use that or maybe I'll just leave it in for sharp eyed critic’s like you! :-)

To see the results of all your comments check out the re-cut...
http://sectfilm.net/the_make-up_of_w...-re-edit-2.mov 12Mb

Thank you one and all.
Bill

New link, could not edit the last post. this one has the latest changes.

http://sectfilm.net/the_make-up_of_water-sm-re-edit.mov

Bill

Bill,

This was one of the more entertaining entries and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Very well done!

Edutainment, gotta love it.

Bruce, Marco,

Thank you for the comments.

For those that suggested that I should consider other film festivals this is the version that is going to Boston Film Night. I have tightened it up using the comments I received and improved the audio.

http://sectfilm.net/themakeupofwater.mov 17mb

Now on to UWOL Challenge #5!!!

Bill