DVC 6- Face The Problem

Darryl Ahye · August 24th, 2006, 03:43 PM

Thanks for watching my movie!

I finally made my feedback thread. I had no idea where the page to post it was. Hope its not to late to get some feedback and constructive criticism.

I didn't need a diclaimer this time around :)

Meryem Ersoz · August 24th, 2006, 04:15 PM

hey, i didn't have to sear my retinas with this one!

some really cool camera work. i like your visual sense. you have a good eye.

if i had a constructive bit of criticism, it would be: this piece is too narrative to be experimental and too experimental to be a narrative. get a little more committed to one or the other, and i think it will help your piece to sustain its edge (which flattens out about 2/3rds of the way through).

nice going!

Dennis Khaye · August 24th, 2006, 04:39 PM

Nice job Darryl and company. Some edgy stuff I like blurring the lines stuff. I agree with the flattening out though. The energy could have been pumped up at that 2/3rds spot. Some good photography there too.

Michael Fossenkemper · August 24th, 2006, 05:27 PM

I loved the camera work and editing. Great direction and acting. You knew what was going on without a word being said. Just thought there might have been to many sleep wakes. I kind of lost what the flying thing was about, but man did it sure look good. I really love some of the shots in here. Great work. Looks like you put a lot into it.

Lorinda Norton · August 24th, 2006, 07:57 PM

Darryl, your movie just blew my socks off. From a technical standpoint it was exciting and seemed nearly flawless to me, plus the story had me going. So, I'm hoping you will explain what went on with the guy's reaction to the sun and the flying, because I got lost, too.

This is the first time I've seen 3D in one of these. That was so cool!!!

Jay Silver · August 24th, 2006, 10:38 PM

A very, very stylish movie. It did lose that a bit toward the end, I assume because you needed a more direct narrative to get the conclusion across. Getting a balance between the two is a tough row to hoe and I think you made a really good attempt. The next one's going to be awesome!

Great short.

-j

Robert Martens · August 25th, 2006, 05:03 AM

I got the sense that the character was sick of the sun waking him up, and decided to fly up and push it away. To the other side of the Earth, or something similar. That, or he just smacked it really hard and it "fell" out of the sky, letting him get some rest.

I can't think of anything I'd like to see done differently here. The flying bit seemed perfectly obvious to me, and I think the wake/sleep cycle worked just fine; in my mind, only two cycles would have sent the message "two days have passed in the life of this character", instead of the intended "this character is exhausted from doing the same boring routine day in and day out" that I get from three of them in a row. They might have been a little faster, I suppose, but I got the idea.

A significant leap over your last film, though I liked that one as well, and a great "Sun" entry.

Hugh DiMauro · August 25th, 2006, 07:14 AM

Meryem hit a bullseye with her narrative/experimental comment. That piece would fit like a glove as an insert in a mainstream movie where a character experiences a reaction of sorts to a certain boredom/stress of mundane life. And therein lies the rub: Technically speaking, your piece is so well made that it deserves to be part of a bigger fantastic whole.

Darryl Ahye · August 25th, 2006, 12:59 PM

Robert Martens- was right on the money there...the sun frustrated him to the point where he had to get rid of it. Finally allowing him to get a decent nights sleep.
Great stuff people thanks for the criticism.

I'm just glad I didn't offend anybody this time around :)

Sean McHenry · August 25th, 2006, 10:40 PM

Initially I was thinking of both the Neo/Superman thing in Matrix and the old Superman thing of flying so fast in reverse he went back in time. If he only went back a few hours he could get some extra sleep.

Interestingly done. Sort of reminds me of some of the scenes in Garden State where they accelerate the film for a passage of time.

Good job on all that. I hate to fool with artistic intent so let me know if this is off base but, I would have done color correction or been more careful about initial white balances. You can still get the feel of day or night without shifting the coloring, or rather not shifting them to a noramal range.

Other than that, cool stuff.

Sean

Dick Mays · August 26th, 2006, 06:50 AM

Interesting to watch. I watched it three times, to understand the premise. THe flying stuff was way cool, as was the ground breaking under his feet. I loved the foley sound as the ground cracked.

But the dude's problem is not the SUN. He's got to get find a reason to get out of bed. I'd have preferred if he had not returned to sleep and had some meaningful life experience that caused a change in his character arc.

(Pardon last remark, old method acting training flashback.)

August 24th, 2006, 03:43 PM	#1
Darryl Ahye Regular Crew Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 51	DVC 6- Face The Problem - Darryl Ahye Thanks for watching my movie! I finally made my feedback thread. I had no idea where the page to post it was. Hope its not to late to get some feedback and constructive criticism. I didn't need a diclaimer this time around :)

August 24th, 2006, 07:57 PM	#5
Lorinda Norton Wrangler Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Southwest Idaho, USA Posts: 3,066	Darryl, your movie just blew my socks off. From a technical standpoint it was exciting and seemed nearly flawless to me, plus the story had me going. So, I'm hoping you will explain what went on with the guy's reaction to the sun and the flying, because I got lost, too. This is the first time I've seen 3D in one of these. That was so cool!!! __________________ Lorinda

August 25th, 2006, 07:14 AM	#8
Hugh DiMauro Trustee Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Central Florida Posts: 1,205	Meryem hit a bullseye with her narrative/experimental comment. That piece would fit like a glove as an insert in a mainstream movie where a character experiences a reaction of sorts to a certain boredom/stress of mundane life. And therein lies the rub: Technically speaking, your piece is so well made that it deserves to be part of a bigger fantastic whole. __________________ Interesting, if true. And interesting anyway.

August 25th, 2006, 10:40 PM	#10
Sean McHenry Trustee Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Hilliard, Ohio Posts: 1,193	Initially I was thinking of both the Neo/Superman thing in Matrix and the old Superman thing of flying so fast in reverse he went back in time. If he only went back a few hours he could get some extra sleep. Interestingly done. Sort of reminds me of some of the scenes in Garden State where they accelerate the film for a passage of time. Good job on all that. I hate to fool with artistic intent so let me know if this is off base but, I would have done color correction or been more careful about initial white balances. You can still get the feel of day or night without shifting the coloring, or rather not shifting them to a noramal range. Other than that, cool stuff. Sean __________________ ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m shooting on D.V.’ - my hero - David Lynch http://www.DeepBlueEdit.com

August 24th, 2006, 04:15 PM	#2
Meryem Ersoz Wrangler Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Boulder, CO Posts: 3,015	hey, i didn't have to sear my retinas with this one! some really cool camera work. i like your visual sense. you have a good eye. if i had a constructive bit of criticism, it would be: this piece is too narrative to be experimental and too experimental to be a narrative. get a little more committed to one or the other, and i think it will help your piece to sustain its edge (which flattens out about 2/3rds of the way through). nice going!

August 24th, 2006, 04:39 PM	#3
Dennis Khaye Major Player Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 255	Nice job Darryl and company. Some edgy stuff I like blurring the lines stuff. I agree with the flattening out though. The energy could have been pumped up at that 2/3rds spot. Some good photography there too.

August 24th, 2006, 05:27 PM	#4
Michael Fossenkemper Major Player Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: NYC, weeee. Posts: 417	I loved the camera work and editing. Great direction and acting. You knew what was going on without a word being said. Just thought there might have been to many sleep wakes. I kind of lost what the flying thing was about, but man did it sure look good. I really love some of the shots in here. Great work. Looks like you put a lot into it.

August 24th, 2006, 10:38 PM	#6
Jay Silver Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada Posts: 112	A very, very stylish movie. It did lose that a bit toward the end, I assume because you needed a more direct narrative to get the conclusion across. Getting a balance between the two is a tough row to hoe and I think you made a really good attempt. The next one's going to be awesome! Great short. -j

August 25th, 2006, 05:03 AM	#7
Robert Martens Major Player Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Miller Place, NY Posts: 820	I got the sense that the character was sick of the sun waking him up, and decided to fly up and push it away. To the other side of the Earth, or something similar. That, or he just smacked it really hard and it "fell" out of the sky, letting him get some rest. I can't think of anything I'd like to see done differently here. The flying bit seemed perfectly obvious to me, and I think the wake/sleep cycle worked just fine; in my mind, only two cycles would have sent the message "two days have passed in the life of this character", instead of the intended "this character is exhausted from doing the same boring routine day in and day out" that I get from three of them in a row. They might have been a little faster, I suppose, but I got the idea. A significant leap over your last film, though I liked that one as well, and a great "Sun" entry.

August 25th, 2006, 12:59 PM	#9
Darryl Ahye Regular Crew Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 51	Robert Martens- was right on the money there...the sun frustrated him to the point where he had to get rid of it. Finally allowing him to get a decent nights sleep. Great stuff people thanks for the criticism. I'm just glad I didn't offend anybody this time around :)

August 26th, 2006, 06:50 AM	#11
Dick Mays Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 690	Interesting to watch. I watched it three times, to understand the premise. THe flying stuff was way cool, as was the ground breaking under his feet. I loved the foley sound as the ground cracked. But the dude's problem is not the SUN. He's got to get find a reason to get out of bed. I'd have preferred if he had not returned to sleep and had some meaningful life experience that caused a change in his character arc. (Pardon last remark, old method acting training flashback.)