Please critique this piece to help answer a question
 

I'm working on a highlight reel for a client and they want to convey certain facts about their program.

I suggested that the piece should be narrated but they would rather see text on screen.

I created the piece with the text on screen. Please review the piece and let me know if the text works or would it be better narrated.

Also what do you think of the piece in general? I wasn't responsible for the footage I just got two hours of footage and had to make a presentation out of it

http://www.roaddoggz.com/sgl/dj.html

Thanks a lot for your time

IMO, it is too hard to read. One thing is the timing. I think it is 20 frames per word as a guideline, but I could be wrong. There is too much happening in the background and with the audio track to keep my attention, but I have been working through DVD production problems all day, so a little zoned.

If the DJ doing the track was doing the lines, that would be really catchy. At least, I think it would. :)

Just for your amusement ... or not
 

I did a promo for our DVD that we did for Spirit Drum and Bugle Corps. It is on my site at www.versatilemediasolutions.com/spirit.htm

Not too special, just hacked up the DVD and put it to music from Sonic Fire (can you say sync licensing is a pita?). Footage from around the US, with a bit in the Denver area that is recognizable.

I thought it looked nice! Good looking footage etc. Only the shots
with the guys saying the "damn" lines etc. was much darker than
all of the other bright spots, that stood out a bit.

The dark part was one of those impromptu run and gun moments. Need to adjust for the backlight, but missed it. And then missed it again in post. Geez.

They were saying 'Two time'. ;) That was the cymbal line and they were getting their two time world championship award in about 15 minutes.

Thanks Rob.

Oh, that was a VX2100.

Nice stuff. Keep working hard hard and hard... until 3 am on the morning..:))) Great work man

i agree that it should be narrated (by the DJ would be a plus) mainly because you've got two different text boxes on screen at the same time and it gets confusing and frustrating trying to read both of them. whereas, you can hear the narrator and read the names of the DJs at the same time. i think it would come across clearer. until the DJ began to speak i had no real desire to keep struggling to keep up with the text! you must present the audience with a comfortable experience or they wont tune in to the message.

my thoughts....


Marc Sacco
www.zenimage.com

Two Digital Films
 

Please check out
http://kinetic-pixelworks.com
and download our two digital films:

mojado: 4:52 min three sizes.
by Alfredo Castil.

lesson 2: 2 min long two sizes.
by Ian Chaurero.
Feedback welcome.

No More AOL CDs: The Video
 

I finally created a web site for myself and started putting some videos up. Check out the “No More AOL CDs” video. This was inspired by a less-than-steller experience with the company, and, of course, the ever present AOL CDs. My sister and I shot this on a whim one evening a little more than a year ago, unscripted and spontaneous. If you need a laugh, here it is.

Enjoy!

Christopher Lefchik

Cute stuff.
Keep shooting.
Keep posting.
Jimmy.

Regarding Mojado: I feel like I've seen this film a dozen times. The surreal anything goes stylized montage combined with the soft spoken, profound narration. This fits solidly into the category of "student art film". Some people really like them and find pleasure in drawing meaningful metaphors from the recklessly thrown together clips. I just think they're dull and overdone. I can't even critique any part of it because for all I know it was all intentional. All I can say is that at every student film festival I go to half the films look like this. So that can't be good.

Regarding Lesson 2: Cool use of the mirror for both practical effect and lighting. Otherwise see above.

My advice to both of you is to learn the craft a little more before embarking on an art film. Once you have perfected telling a traditional story using somewhat traditional shots, then try getting artsy.

The opening you described is what the client thought the footage would reveal. The local DJ talking about the benefits that the Seagram's Gin program provides.

But since they didn't want to pay for a full crew and a director, they hired some local person to shoot w/o a director and the talent was acting like the video was alll about him. Bottom line I have to work harder to make this look good.

I did convince them that a narrator is needed and I'm waiting on the script now.

Doing so much with so little, gotta love it.

Tough trying not to get personal, I'll take the kernel of truth and learn from it.

Thanks for the time you took downloading it.

Thanks, I intend to.

Cute and humorous, simple look... a nice chuckle!

Alex