New Short Film I Made! Please Watch!
 

a video my friends acted in when i did the 'director/editor' thing. We had a contest and it was a rush-job. start to finish in 3 days. tell me what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGRfKSf5fAI

very controversial

Nice shooting and nice graphics. I think the distraction for me was the female voice narating what was obviously being told by a male. Created a disconnect for me....

Very good! I like it. But like Chris said, the female voice was confusing.

~Gabriel~

I agree...it definitely needed a male voice narrative.

New Short Film I Made! Please Watch!
 

Even though the voice is kinda out of place in the beginning, but it really makes the final plot point worthwhile at the end...

Regards
Van Zijl

It's good, i hate to be part of the majority, but I too felt the voice was off, to me it sold from the begining that he was not around to tell his story.. While I understood the end, I think it felt a bit rushed and could have had a bigger punch.. very good work though...

If you have time to change it have the guys voice at the beginning then transition to the girls voice when shes talking.....should give for a better effect i think.....plus if you have time to make that change it shouldnt be too hard becuase its just a voice over.

Female voice worked for me. Just kept up feeling that theres coming turn before the end. I liked that and overall everthing else as well.

Very great
 

Your camera work and editing I thought were fantastic. Great subject matter and well handled. I did have trouble with the female narrator though. Her voice and reading were well done, but superimposed over a male main character made me "notice" the narration too much. There would have to be a reason for such a choice. Like, I kept expecting her to be reading his diary over his grave in the end or something.

All in all, great.

matt

thanks for all the comments!
 

Thanks everyone! You guys are really helping me out because I'm the scriptwriter/storyboard as well as director. I wanted the audience to wonder and question why the voice was a girl's. But I guess it creates a complex element. I have to work on organizing scenes and creating an understanding plot. Thanks again everybody!

I thought there was some good editing in there. It looks like you edit on a Mac using FCP Studio. I do as well. I must admit, like everyone else, the female voice had me confused as well.
What was the inspiration for this short, may I ask?

Why the heck is there a female narrating a male POV? I did not bother watching much past the credits. I found that too annoying.

.... ouch .....

Was not trying to be rude. But it created a total disconnect.

It's nothing :D . We're still all fellow filmmakers and dv enthusiasts here!

Thanks for watching though.