The Tragedy of Canada
 

Flying the face of retaliatory Texas jokes, I'm going out on a limb to pick on our Neighbors of the Maple Leaf (for my fellow Texans who are geographically challenged by default of their state's poor education, Canada is a little ways north of Lubbock):

The tragedy of Canada is that they had the perfect opportunity to enjoy French cuisine, British culture and American technology, and instead they ended up with British cuisine, American culture and French technology.

The upside of living on the flat terrain of Winnipeg: It's the only town where you can watch your dog run away for three days.

Cheers to the (surprisingly many) Canajians on this board. I think you actually outnumber the Aussies here. Glad to have ya! Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Happy holidays,

Those are good. But I'm confused on one point. What exactly is French technology? Is it Citroen?


Jeff

Well I suppose you can't go wrong with T-FAL (Tefal)...

Look it was bad enough on bicycles they had English and Metric screws. But then the French came along and developed their own screws.

Has that great Canadian Uncle Red (of the Red/Green Show) weighed in on this issue?

<<What exactly is French technology? It is Citroen?>>

LOL. That's right...the old 2HP. Kind of makes you think Alvin Straight wasn't so original after all...the French have been getting around on lawnmowers for years.

Hey, Pamela Lee Anderson and Jennifer Connelly are Canooks...so Canada has my undying respect.

(Are there more Aussies than Texans here? I thought we had 'em outnumbered)

Surely you mean English Culture, English Technology and Good old English wholesome Grub, the french simply add sauce and the Americans market.
Peter.
Merry Xmas to all.

Excuse me while I remove this large chip from my shoulder......but how did we get from British to English exactly? - the two not being the same :-)

Ross

My appologies Ross, it's what comes from living in Tony Blairs intergrated new third way multi cultural EEC.
Just trying to retain part of my heritage.
In fact Scotland in itself should be known as the Mother Country of invention.
Peter

I've forgotten what the Empire's mission is... to keep England British, or to keep Britain English? I suspect the latter.

Many Americans wonder why the packaging and instructions for most consumer appliances (washing machines, televisions, etc.) are printed in French... it's because the same goods are shipped to Canada. The concept is lost on 95% of all U.S. citizens, I bet.

You must be confusing Jennifer Connelly with Neve Campbell.
The former being born and raised in New York.

Now Natasha Henstridge is from Ft. Mc Murray Alberta, and later moved to Oakville Ontario, and went to a rival highschool of mine at the same time I was in school. Even back then she was gorgeous.

Adrian

<<<-- Originally posted by John Locke : <<What exactly is French technology? It is Citroen?>>

LOL. That's right...the old 2HP. Kind of makes you think Alvin Straight wasn't so original after all...the French have been getting around on lawnmowers for years.

Hey, Pamela Lee Anderson and Jennifer Connelly are Canooks...so Canada has my undying respect.

(Are there more Aussies than Texans here? I thought we had 'em outnumbered) -->>>

The confusion gets deeper. I'm pretty sure English (British, Scottish) Technology is Jaguar. But English Grub has me confused. Is that mutton and eel?

Jeff

As the inimitable Monty Python would say (life of brian)...
"eastern swallow or western?"

African swallow or European swallow.

I don't know that... aaaaggghhh.

>>Is that mutton and eel?
<<
Mutton is French. It means 'Lamb ruined by English cooks'.

Sorry , couldn't resist.

That's OK, Jaguar means Ford.

Jeff

Actually, I'm Canadian, and I hate jokes directed at us, the USA, or anywhere. People are people, even in Afghanistan.

Hmmm, and I'm from Winnipeg too. One Winnipeger owns and runs TV stations around the world, including in New Zealand and Australia. "Let's make a deal"...Winnipeg style. (Probably no one got that one.)

A lot of American bombs and rockets are made in Winnipeg. Even Little Boy (or is it Fat Boy?) parts were made there.

Texas, Texas Chainsaw Massacre? (I liked that movie. Very strange.)

Canadian actors? If you knew how many and which ones, it would make your head spin.

Do Americans know who own E-bay? (A nice "couple" from one of Bush's "axis of evil nations!"

French Technology, Canadian Style? How about the Bombardier Group. You know what they invented, and what they make today, right? No?

Don't forget at one time Canada made better fighter jets than America...but then America got worried and convinced the lame Canadian Government to scrap the project, among others, and go for that lame missile defense net. So..., the poor Canadian scientists all moved on to NASA, Boeing and---what's that big one in Texas that seemed to have disappeared? hehehe....

well, here's one for ya.........

On the sixth day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."

I think the question was (from Monty Python, "What is the terminal airspeed velocity on an unladen swallow"

I guess the question is whether the Canadians love Spam as much as the Brits do?

<<<-- Originally posted by Chris Hurd : I've forgotten what the Empire's mission is... to keep England British, or to keep Britain English? I suspect the latter.

Many Americans wonder why the packaging and instructions for most consumer appliances (washing machines, televisions, etc.) are printed in French... it's because the same goods are shipped to Canada. The concept is lost on 95% of all U.S. citizens, I bet. -->>>

I think you are being kind about (aboot?) the 95%. Probably much higher. It reminds me of the old joke told in Whistler about the tourist from somewhere in the UK (it could have been in the US and is often told that way) who changed his money to pounds since he was going to British Columbia.
Sandy

Language
 

Was working with some Brit techs a few years back on a tape transport system. One of 'em stated that we needed to remove the jubilee clip.

Of course I gave him the look of "What the heck are you talking about?"

He pointed and I said "Oh, the hose clamp." He said "No, the jubilee clip!"

I told him us Americans called it a hose clamp and he said "Well, yes, that is what it DOES, but it is CALLED a jubilee clip."

"OK, OK, OK, I'll remove the jubilee clip.....!"

So guys, make sure you use the 'proper names' for all these little bits and pieces we have here in the video world.....

Have a Merry Christmas!

<<Adrian: You must be confusing Jennifer Connelly with Neve Campbell.
The former being born and raised in New York.>>

I stand corrected about Jennifer's home country, Adrian...but...Pamela and Natasha still earn Canada enough credit to take up the slack.

Canadians DO NOT like Spam. We eat what Americans eat. The USA and Canada used to be one giant terrtory under the British thumb. Now the USA ain't, and Canada has two thumbs pressing down. That's we Canadians like to stick the middle finger up. (I case you don't know, I'm joking.)

By the way, Winnipeg, Manitoba is often called, "Winterpeg Mosquitoba." (You figure it out.)

Ah, Spam & Chips (Fries to you guys), washed down with a glass of warm english Ale, Now thats cooking, the French don't know what thier missing.
Come to think of it when you guys sit down tomorrow for your Xmas dinner think about where the Turkey & Potatoes come from.
Merry Christmas.
Peter.

I think they come from big ranches in Montana. Everyone know there's no turkeys in Texas.

Jeff

"No turkeys in Texas..."

Thats right, we sent them all to Washington.
(Hey, if you don't like political jokes, don't vote for them)

And here's two great "Americans" who never were. John Wayne, and Peter Jennings...

I love Canada. I spent a week there one day.
No kidding.

I hitch-hiked across Canada, from BC to... some small town near International Falls, back in the '70's. (Wouldn't do it now) For three days I walked along an empty stretch of the trans-can in Sasketchewan (sp?)

And I thought Texas was flat.

Of course here in Houston we say the only thing between a Canadian Cold front and the gulf coast is a barbed wire fence.

Merry Christmas to all...

Bill

And to think this all got started because Chris lost the XL-1 Doberman Watchdog in Winnipeg...

Frank....
>> How about the Bombardier Group. You know what they invented, and what they make today, right? No?<<
The Bombardier is a large seaplane based on a 50 year old American design (Grumann or Boeing I can't remember which). It's been updated quite a bit over the years.
It's popular with firefighting services around the world. It has the unique ability to skim across the water and fill it's tanks without stopping. The fill the tanks while skimming the water part is what the Canadians invented.

Yes, I get the Discovery Wings channel.
Yes, I know the discovery channel is Canadian owned.
They are part of the same group that owns the History channel.
Like the History channel, if it wasn't for found WWII footage, they wouldn't have enough material to stay on the air.
Their programming sucks more and more with each passing year.


They only decent thing they have is is 'A Plane is born' and 'A Chopper is born' series. Both English. Both about building your own plane/ or helicopter from a kit. Very cool stuff.

Bombardier invented the Skido and Seado. That's also their brand names. They also make high speed trains and private jets (mainly for Americans). I feel the same way about A&E. CNN? Don't even go there.... I do like PBS, however, but so far this year they couldn't afford to get those new English mysterious---in fact, not even the old ones! Keep in mind that Canadian television is moulded from American television, so now you have your answer/s!

>>Keep in mind that Canadian television is moulded from American television<<

And you admitted that in public? wow, how humble of you.
hehehe.

Wow, I go out of town for 3 days and look what I miss!

poor poor people :(

kermie

The US also has a large French population
 

Chris said, "Many Americans wonder why the packaging and instructions for most consumer appliances (washing machines, televisions, etc.) are printed in French... it's because the same goods are shipped to Canada. The concept is lost on 95% of all U.S. citizens, I bet."

And I always thought it was because they were also being shipped to south Louisiana...

;)

Mic

I am really honestly surprised to see how much americans do know about us lumberjacks... eh?

I was watching the local new a while back, when some prime ministers aid called Bush a moron, anyway they took a camera down to Seatle and interview a bunch of american. All but one person said the Bush really was a moron.

Oh and " Ya'll " be happy to hear that we Canadians just go our third area code. Now I have to go through my cell and re-program all my numbers. It was only last year they gave us a second postal code. They really should slow down with all this change, we slow folks can't take all of this in at once.

I think this takes care of all the Canuck jokes I no of, so I'll get back to eating my seal steak in the warmth of my two floor igloo.

MMmmm.... Seal steak... In Newfoundland you can get seal flippers cooked in a variety of ways. Moose is very tasty as well.

Don't be to hard on the United Statesians. They don't know as much about us because they aren't bombarded by our television stations, like we are with theirs.

When I was growing up in Cleveland in the '60s, we use to listen to CKLW out of Windsor. But then, Windsor is just another suburb of Detroit.

Jeff

>Windsor is just another suburb of Detroit.
<
Except you only have to be 19 to drink. Long live Cananda!!!

As far as statements about why things are in french. Beleive it or not, they actually teach american kids about Quebec in gradeschool. So yes, we do know why there is French on the box.

Dylan said
"Don't be to hard on the United Statesians."

what the heck is a United Statesian, a new religious sect?
All this time I thought we were Baptists. darn.

Seal steak? Moose? I thought all canadian food was purely bacon or a by-product of it. Canada's infiltration of the US is already underway. Here in Mich. we have a governor that was born in Canada. For some reason I keep having this feeling whenever she makes a speech it's laced with coded messages that are broadcast to the Canadians. I've heard she's pushing to get the state seal replaced by a portrait of the queen. They are plotting, soon we will all wear duck boots and fannel year round with a constant yearning for the taste of bacon. But then again I could be wrong, in that case I am soarry aboot all this :)

Seal, moose?? That sounds wonderful. Down here we eat anything doesn't move fast enough! Blacken seal (or moose) steaks, seared with peppercorns and mild habaneros, and a red wine glaze would make a great dinner.

Well, least you guys don't eat kangaroo and emu, now that is a weird thing to see.

zac

ever tried ostrich with a green chile stew?