Per Johan,

Thank you, I am glad you liked it. :-)

Bill

Hey Bill,

Sorry about that dude, I missed those first credits...

Jeff

We're good. :-)

Hi Bill:

Wow! I think that was the most INTERESTING twist to the theme "water" in the entire challenge. It had a very big message to it and I found it sobering. All the previous points are well taken about making the face shot reinforced in interesting and creative ways, because it all hinges on that. The audio could have been easier to discern. These things have been mentioned. Otherwise well done and I'm glad the guy got stiffed in the end! I loved the filming of her walking away, part in the picture part out and just capturing the smile at the end.

Cat Russell

Cat,

Thank you, I am so glad someone mentioned that smile I was afraid that might be missed. :-)

Bill

This was a very intriguing story. I enjoyed watching it, and when it ended, wished it could have been longer, so I could see various places the ideas could lead. As others have said, maybe a mermaid, or.... Thanks for sharing, and it looked like fun to make.

Ruth

Ruth,

Thank you for the comments, the mermaid angle is intriguing; maybe a re-shoot might be in order.

Bill

Hi Bill. I am happy to offer my feedback. Thanks for asking.

In general, as to production values and editing, I agree with the gang. To sharpen this peice as it is- follow their advice.

My feedback on the story is different. This piece needs to be full-on camp. You have a lady on the beach waiting for a male, with her cracked make-up, so she can smack him down with his own shallow response. The best part is when she is pouring the water because it succeeds in its bizarreness. At that point I was intriqued at what strange turn the story might take. Direct the actors to rise to the level of camp you acheived when she is pouring the water and be more playfull with your shots. If this is about shallow men, or perhaps it is about deranged women who spend their days trying to ensnare them, then use your camera to explore that woman. Try shooting throught the pitcher of water to emphasize the warped situation. If you agree with the woman and her smack down plot then your shots can emphasize the leering quality of the man. If your woman is a nut job then your shots can emphasize how strange this woman would have to be to sit on the beach with cracked make-up waiting for the man.

Oh, and to reiterate what I said in my declaration of the winner thread- Nothing is harder than directing a narrative piece with actors. Kudos to you for what you accomplished in that. And also for working in collaboration.

Hi Bill,
That was a cool approach to the water theme.
I enjoyed watching your film. Well done!
As others have mentioned, a more close up of her taking off the shades would have been nice. Maybe even only have her eyes in the frame. (or just a bit more)

Great film....I loved it. Did anyone else notice the full glass of water after the spill?

Randy

DJ,

Thank you for the insightful comments very helpful.

Trond,

Thank you for commenting.

Randall,

I didn't, it seems that from that angle she did not spill as much from the glass. I have another clip where she spills more out of the glass I can use that or maybe I'll just leave it in for sharp eyed critic’s like you! :-)

To see the results of all your comments check out the re-cut...
http://sectfilm.net/the_make-up_of_w...-re-edit-2.mov 12Mb

Thank you one and all.
Bill

New link, could not edit the last post. this one has the latest changes.

http://sectfilm.net/the_make-up_of_water-sm-re-edit.mov

Bill

Bill,

This was one of the more entertaining entries and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Very well done!

Edutainment, gotta love it.

Bruce, Marco,

Thank you for the comments.

For those that suggested that I should consider other film festivals this is the version that is going to Boston Film Night. I have tightened it up using the comments I received and improved the audio.

http://sectfilm.net/themakeupofwater.mov 17mb

Now on to UWOL Challenge #5!!!

Bill