There is another aspect of being too close as well. A photographer can dart in close, take a shot and then move away as quickly as he moved in. Although that can also be offensive, this is a bigger problem for a videographer. By the nature of shooting video, you are "anchored" in place for a longer period if time. If you are too close, it is much more obvious and intrusive because of the length of time you are too close.

You just have to ask. I had a bride who wanted us literally shooting over the shoulder of the pastor (well, we were 10 feet back, but still in full view of the guests.) Her mother was legally blind and having up-close shots on the DVD would be the only way she would ever see the ceremony.

As a general guideline I'd say anywhere in the front third of a church during a wedding ceremony is getting a bit intrusive, and if you're in front of the front pew that's becoming part of the event. Some may do this and get great shots and not get complaints, but try to be sensitive to which venues may tolerate this and which won't.

On the weddings I've done in the past I've kept very unobtrusive and near the back, but last weekend I did a wedding and for the first time I shot from all over and it made for much better footage. I shot the processional from BEHIND THE ALTER! (with priest permission of course) First time I ever did that and it was a rush, not to mention made for a good shot. I also went handheld and up close during the signing, but that was because the photographers were blocking the entire thing from almost everyone, so I joined them up front and off to the side. I was extremely conscious of myself wherever I was and I moved quickly, quietly, and only as needed.