How do you guys like my commercials? at DVinfo.net

Meeko Gray · November 3rd, 2008, 03:44 PM

YouTube - DrMeeko's Channel

I have a commercial for a daycare and a taekwondo school. I might do a barbershop commercial soon. I think I'm getting better with each shoot. I'd just like some feedback. Thanks in advance.

Oh, shot w/ a Canon gl2 and edited w/ sony vegas movie maker 8.

Oren Arieli · November 3rd, 2008, 06:54 PM

The biggest issue I have is audio quality (and I'm not sure if its just because of compression). Sounds like you were on a phone line. Stylistically, everyone will have their own opinion; mine is for shorter shots with a greater variety (including more high and low angles for added kick, if you'll pardon the pun).

Also, the website title should be a much simpler....www.kyktkd.tripod.com. Better yet, get the owner to spring for a 'real' website, not a free-hosted one.

Right before the end, you could hear the music looping again, and the kids weren't all that energetic in their closing performance. I want to hear the ENERGY!

Michael Ojjeh · November 3rd, 2008, 07:20 PM

when you shoot commercial for the web you need more close up shots, try not to stay long on the same shot more then few seconds you have to keep changing it to keep viewers attention.
Cindy's totally you,Beauty & Day Spas, Manicures & Pedicures, Nail Care, Raynham, MA,

Meeko Gray · November 4th, 2008, 04:13 PM

Thanks for all the comments. I think my shot selection was very good. I used my environment well. There are a few things I can do better and I may redo both commercials now that I know more. These were my first two commercials. Hopefully I will improve with the next ones. Now I'm gonna start charging!!!

Dennis Robinson · November 7th, 2008, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meeko Gray

YouTube - DrMeeko's Channel

I have a commercial for a daycare and a taekwondo school. I might do a barbershop commercial soon. I think I'm getting better with each shoot. I'd just like some feedback. Thanks in advance.

Oh, shot w/ a Canon gl2 and edited w/ sony vegas movie maker 8.

I think the other comments are being kind to you. This is real amateur footage and not much more than home movie stuff. It needs faster cuts, close ups of action and various camera angles. The ending would be better dropped and the web site is too much to read. Its your first go but some of the comments here from the others will be a huge help if you take notice.

Graham Bernard · November 7th, 2008, 07:31 AM

I can only, with not a little desperation, echo Dennis's comments. It's only my very good nature that is stopping me from uttering anything further.

Meeko, please study and note major league advert makers; question what and how they put together their work and compare yours to theirs.

Grazie

Frank Simpson · November 7th, 2008, 06:09 PM

I have to agree with the above. If I were to see these on TV I would think, "well, there's someone who has a nephew with a camcorder!"

The copy is lackluster, and the diction is poor in the V.O.s. There appears to be only a single shot that was made with a purpose for the commercials. All the others are just "shots in a row" that I suppose are meant to demonstrate why I should choose your clients' particular services over their competition. I saw absoutely nothing that would sway me as a consumer to choose your clients' services.

I'm also curious as to what exactly you mean by having used your environments well. I did not see anything out of the ordinary as far as environment.

The "cheer" at the end of the Taekwondo spot was not in unison, and is hard to understand. It was also weakly delivered, and right after it you can hear an off-camera comment.

It is important to understand that even if you are a competent filmmaker, that does not necessarily qualify you to do advertising work. The art of scripting a good commercial, and then knowing how to effectively bring it to fruition is a skill-set entirely of its own.

In my humble opinion you are a long ways away from charging for these services. You have some nice gear, but not the expertise to use it effectively in a commercial context.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe that anyone is served by hollow platitudes.

Meeko Gray · November 8th, 2008, 04:49 AM

I've read all comments and I appreciate the critiques. I like the footage I shot and I'll stick with that. I think it was appropriate for the projects. It was cut excellently and it shows what I was trying to show for the customer. The only critical things I've noticed were audio problems. New audio editing software and mics should fix that problem.

I've noticed a few comments about the website. I have nothing to do with the website and I didn't ask anyone about it. It really had nothing to do with why I posted. Anywhoo, I just wanted to thank all who posted. I'm working on new projects at the moment so I most likely will not post anymore about these. Feel free to respond, but I most likely won't read or respond to your post at all.

:-)

Richard Gooderick · November 8th, 2008, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meeko Gray

I'm working on new projects at the moment so I most likely will not post anymore about these. Feel free to respond, but I most likely won't read or respond to your post at all.

:-)

Priceless!
I think this thread demonstrates the fine line that we all tread between having confidence in our own skills and abilities whilst at the same time being humble enough to listen to feedback.

Graham Bernard · November 8th, 2008, 07:10 AM

OK, being straight:

"How do you guys like my commercials?" Well, this "guy" didn't.

"I'd just like some feedback." . . Really? I don't think you wanted any feedback. I think you wanted a "particular" type of feedback.

So what "feedback" DID you want?

Grazie

Doug Bennett · November 9th, 2008, 05:13 PM

come on guys. No-one posts clips looking for anything but praise. Meeko is no different to anyone else.

Richard Gooderick · November 10th, 2008, 03:18 AM

I don't want to get too down on Meeko either. He's starting out and his ego is fragile.

Is this the reason that most people post though? That surprises me if it is. I would have thought that people would want some honest feedback and perhaps some suggestions how things can be improved.

Jeff Harper · November 10th, 2008, 04:13 AM

Replace the announcer while your replacing your audio gear. Voice was weak and IMO was the weakest part of the commercial. The announcer is obviously not a pro. Try to find someone who can project their voice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meeko Gray

Now I'm gonna start charging!!!

Good luck with that.

Doug Bennett · November 10th, 2008, 07:56 AM

If you have suggestions on how to tweak an excellent production to make it an outstanding one then go ahead. But 99.999% of the posters on forums have learned from their mothers: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all".

Jeff Harper · November 10th, 2008, 08:42 AM

"Being nice" is not going to help Meeko. There is a lot to be said for tact and courtesy, and I commend your intentions that this forum be civil.

However, Meeko wasn't being flamed, he was offered valid criticisms which he spurned.

November 3rd, 2008, 03:44 PM	#1
Meeko Gray New Boot Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 17	How do you guys like my commercials? YouTube - DrMeeko's Channel I have a commercial for a daycare and a taekwondo school. I might do a barbershop commercial soon. I think I'm getting better with each shoot. I'd just like some feedback. Thanks in advance. Oh, shot w/ a Canon gl2 and edited w/ sony vegas movie maker 8.

November 3rd, 2008, 07:20 PM	#3
Michael Ojjeh Major Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 338	when you shoot commercial for the web you need more close up shots, try not to stay long on the same shot more then few seconds you have to keep changing it to keep viewers attention. Cindy's totally you,Beauty & Day Spas, Manicures & Pedicures, Nail Care, Raynham, MA, __________________ Dragonfly Production http://www.dragonflyproduction.net/ http://www.vimeo.com/user432181

November 10th, 2008, 03:18 AM	#12
Richard Gooderick Major Player Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 795	I don't want to get too down on Meeko either. He's starting out and his ego is fragile. Is this the reason that most people post though? That surprises me if it is. I would have thought that people would want some honest feedback and perhaps some suggestions how things can be improved. __________________ http://www.gooderick.com

November 10th, 2008, 08:42 AM	#15
Jeff Harper Inner Circle Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 8,425	"Being nice" is not going to help Meeko. There is a lot to be said for tact and courtesy, and I commend your intentions that this forum be civil. However, Meeko wasn't being flamed, he was offered valid criticisms which he spurned. Last edited by Jeff Harper; November 11th, 2008 at 02:03 AM.

November 3rd, 2008, 06:54 PM	#2
Oren Arieli Major Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: San Jose, California Posts: 918	The biggest issue I have is audio quality (and I'm not sure if its just because of compression). Sounds like you were on a phone line. Stylistically, everyone will have their own opinion; mine is for shorter shots with a greater variety (including more high and low angles for added kick, if you'll pardon the pun). Also, the website title should be a much simpler....www.kyktkd.tripod.com. Better yet, get the owner to spring for a 'real' website, not a free-hosted one. Right before the end, you could hear the music looping again, and the kids weren't all that energetic in their closing performance. I want to hear the ENERGY!

November 4th, 2008, 04:13 PM	#4
Meeko Gray New Boot Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 17	Thanks for all the comments. I think my shot selection was very good. I used my environment well. There are a few things I can do better and I may redo both commercials now that I know more. These were my first two commercials. Hopefully I will improve with the next ones. Now I'm gonna start charging!!!

November 7th, 2008, 07:31 AM	#6
Graham Bernard Old Boot Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: London UK Posts: 3,633	I can only, with not a little desperation, echo Dennis's comments. It's only my very good nature that is stopping me from uttering anything further. Meeko, please study and note major league advert makers; question what and how they put together their work and compare yours to theirs. Grazie

November 7th, 2008, 06:09 PM	#7
Frank Simpson Major Player Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Bozeman, MT Posts: 217	I have to agree with the above. If I were to see these on TV I would think, "well, there's someone who has a nephew with a camcorder!" The copy is lackluster, and the diction is poor in the V.O.s. There appears to be only a single shot that was made with a purpose for the commercials. All the others are just "shots in a row" that I suppose are meant to demonstrate why I should choose your clients' particular services over their competition. I saw absoutely nothing that would sway me as a consumer to choose your clients' services. I'm also curious as to what exactly you mean by having used your environments well. I did not see anything out of the ordinary as far as environment. The "cheer" at the end of the Taekwondo spot was not in unison, and is hard to understand. It was also weakly delivered, and right after it you can hear an off-camera comment. It is important to understand that even if you are a competent filmmaker, that does not necessarily qualify you to do advertising work. The art of scripting a good commercial, and then knowing how to effectively bring it to fruition is a skill-set entirely of its own. In my humble opinion you are a long ways away from charging for these services. You have some nice gear, but not the expertise to use it effectively in a commercial context. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe that anyone is served by hollow platitudes.

November 8th, 2008, 04:49 AM	#8
Meeko Gray New Boot Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 17	I've read all comments and I appreciate the critiques. I like the footage I shot and I'll stick with that. I think it was appropriate for the projects. It was cut excellently and it shows what I was trying to show for the customer. The only critical things I've noticed were audio problems. New audio editing software and mics should fix that problem. I've noticed a few comments about the website. I have nothing to do with the website and I didn't ask anyone about it. It really had nothing to do with why I posted. Anywhoo, I just wanted to thank all who posted. I'm working on new projects at the moment so I most likely will not post anymore about these. Feel free to respond, but I most likely won't read or respond to your post at all. :-)

November 8th, 2008, 07:10 AM	#10
Graham Bernard Old Boot Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: London UK Posts: 3,633	OK, being straight: "*How do you guys like my commercials?" Well, this "guy" didn't. "I'd just like some feedback." . . Really? I don't think you wanted any* feedback. I think you wanted a "*particular" type of feedback. So what "feedback" DID* you want? Grazie

November 9th, 2008, 05:13 PM	#11
Doug Bennett Major Player Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 260	come on guys. No-one posts clips looking for anything but praise. Meeko is no different to anyone else.

November 10th, 2008, 07:56 AM	#14
Doug Bennett Major Player Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 260	If you have suggestions on how to tweak an excellent production to make it an outstanding one then go ahead. But 99.999% of the posters on forums have learned from their mothers: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all".